I'm startan to struggle again bad as the weather is chamging. In the last two years the only thing the doctors found is that I have an auto immune disorder but no clue which one. I hate that I'm in so much pain all the time but I'm working out every day to help long term. The biggest issue though is not being able to eat. I'm back to feeling nauseous all the time. I hate medicating early in the day because I end up looped and not feeling like myself. I accept that I need to at night to sleep, function , calm down from the pain from the day, need to to eat dinner. I just hate feeling like this all day. If I don't though, I don't eat, I try not to throw up. I'm so tired. This isn't really coherent, but welcome to another symptom but I cant help this one.
I've also been keeping myself very busy, trying to. I think maybe too bsuy. Small things are starting to creep into my brain because I've been I guess ignoring things. My past, my illness. It catches me off guard when I'm in a lot of pain, even if it's several bad days a week, it still surprises me. I forget that I have limits. I forget I have things that I've been surpressing. I'm exausted. I want to be a better mom. A better wife. A healthier person. I'm trying so hard and I feel like I keep falling short. I wonder how long it will take to stop failing so much.
I've also been keeping myself very busy, trying to. I think maybe too bsuy. Small things are starting to creep into my brain because I've been I guess ignoring things. My past, my illness. It catches me off guard when I'm in a lot of pain, even if it's several bad days a week, it still surprises me. I forget that I have limits. I forget I have things that I've been surpressing. I'm exausted. I want to be a better mom. A better wife. A healthier person. I'm trying so hard and I feel like I keep falling short. I wonder how long it will take to stop failing so much.
