Talking to myself [8]

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by AnguishExistence, Jul 17, 2016.

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  1. AnguishExistence

    AnguishExistence Breathe. SF Author

    They don't stop, they don't go away. They have this feeling that I can't shake for days at a time. I don't have anyone to talk to about them and it is driving me insane. My dreams and eating me from the mental state to the physical state. People either don't believe me or tell me it isn't real, but they are real. My dreams are VERY real.

    I keep having dreams of Death. I keep dreaming of people killing each other or an innocent person killing so many people by knife or by gun. This morning I dreamt of a little five year old girl with two adolescents. They were getting guns and wearing the darkest of dark clothing. I remember their faces and that's what scares me most because when I dream about faces something bad happens to those people. I'm not some psychic or anything like that, I just listen when something happens as it pertains to people in this reality.

    Continuing; I spoke to the little girl and I asked her what was wrong, why they were going out with guns and such. She said, "I'm doing what I have to do." and then they left. I started crying to myself and I had told someone I trust, and that person told someone else. Before we could go get her my dream switched to the side of officers circling a house- not the one I was in. When I realized I was waking up, all of the houses became empty, the town deserted and the dream kept flickering between houses. That hasn't happened before, but I'm glad it did, the girl didn't have to do anything or get hurt.

    I don't know what it's like to have a good dream anymore. I haven't had one in months and they are always short-lived. I've tried different things to get them to go away, but they always happen.
     
  2. iam

    iam SF Supporter

    I don't know you AnguishExistence but I know some of the medications of I had have given me awful dreams about death and like you say so real. I've had dreams that I've murdered someone and the the guilt and the fear I feel is real. I used to watch the walking dead on TV and for months every dream I had was about zombies.
    I suppose when you feel so bad when your awake it's understandable that your dreams will reflect that. Again I don't know what my point was here. Hugs x. If you want to talk I'm here
     
    AnguishExistence likes this.
  3. AnguishExistence

    AnguishExistence Breathe. SF Author

    I appreciate that. I don't know what's going on so much. Even when I was younger I would dream about that kind of stuff, but not as much as I do now. I can't take meds so I always have to find some way of dealing with what's wrong. It sucks, really. These dreams have even changed my dreams that have been repeating for years and years. They end so horridly now. It's frustrating and confusing and as you said even guilty.