Temporary solutions

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by J58, Nov 5, 2012.

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  1. J58

    J58 Member

    I have found that therapy, medications, and hospitalization are temporary solutions to a permanent problem. I'm tired of being insulted by the phrase we all hear too often. It's on so many web sites that promise hope, and so many people are too flippant, in my opinion, to hand it out as a catch all phrase that provides any insight:

    "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" - this is crap, nonsense, and false.

    The problem, for me, is permanent so far, and likely to be so in the future. I hate being mislead and insulted by this. Perhaps I don't want a solution - but then, isn't that part of the problem?

    Also, how do I instruct people who insist on wishing me happy birthday that it's one of the most destructive things they can do? I've explained my position on the matter to family and friends, but to no avail. I no longer tell new acquaintances my birthdate. Even this forum sent me a collective message. Please don't do that - it triggers strong suicidal ideation. This is inappropriate. Friends tell me I should get over it. How do I explain to them to please not discuss the topic without revealing why?

    I'm not sure I really want any answers, I'm just venting. I don't have anywhere else to vent. Also, are the suicide hotlines listed elsewhere obliged to try and assist in rescuing someone who the staff believes is in imminent danger of suicide? It would be preferable for me to find a service that I could contact anonymously just to talk. Again, I'm not looking for a solution so much as a place to be heard. I'm looking for a service that is willing to figuratively "hold my hand" and keep me company, no matter what state or condition I'm in when I call. I'm not looking for someone to come and help me. I don't want to put my friends who know me in a compromizing situation where they feel the necessity to intervene, and I'm not looking for emergency staff to come to my location. That would be very detrimental.

    <Mod edit - against guidelines>

    Peace.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2012
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" - this is crap, nonsense, and false.

    Actually, in the very vast majority of cases it is absolutely true. That some conditions cannot be cured is true, it applies to both physical and mental health - I have physical problems - if I stop taking medication it is a known outcome. I also have mental health problems that when I stop medications have a clear and repeated consequence. Temporary problem does not mean a "cure" to fix it and never deal with again, it implies a method can be found to enable a better quality of life.

    The problem, for me, is permanent so far, and likely to be so in the future. I hate being mislead and insulted by this. Perhaps I don't want a solution - but then, isn't that part of the problem?

    The highlighted are the exact reason why it is said with such frequency - "so far" is not forever, "likely" is not for sure , and "don't want a solution" is a symptom more often then a choice.

    Birthdays

    Many people find birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. to be difficult and triggering - a lot of us would like to pretend they did not exist - but I doubt wishing some a crappy day would improve things - and I see 100's of threads of people just as upset by being "ignored" on such days and using it as evidence that nobody cares. I do not like people to ask "How are you?" - I am very sick - but social norms dictate that people will ask so I answer, albeit with shaded truths - my answers are typically "Unbelievable" ( true - they would not believe if I told them how bad I was so I do not) "I haven't felt better in years" (true - i have been sick for several years and am not getting better) or similar such phrases - If I have to answer at least I can get some small amusement from my personal inside joke... for happy birthday try "Thank you - you have no idea how that makes me feel.." as an example ... It is unfortunate that social norms do not change based on our moods so I try to make the best of it and forgive their compliance to the the etiquette. Maybe redirecting in such a way would be of benefit you or others. Also simply answering in such a way typically ends the discussion without revealing anything more.


    To vent , use here, many of the website resources have anonymous email support , or use a VOIP (internet) call such as skype the leaves your actual location completely anonymous and vent as you like. Emergency services may be against your wishes but I do not believe detrimental in the majority of the situations they are called - seriously- if you are in the middle of or moments away from an attempt then I do not believe emergency services is going to deepen your depression or bad feelings to a worse or lower point. It may not be what you desire at that moment but then I would question if you did not want help then what would the point have been to talk to somebody about the attempt being made or moments away? If the reason of the discussion was to illicit sympathy or or to "gloat" in some manner then nobody should be faced with that emotional blackmail to gain attention.

    The edited portion - this is a pro life , not a pro choice forum, please keep this in mind when posting.

    My PM box is always open if you want to anonymously vent, simply say if you want a reply or not. The general sub forums are intended for replies, you can also start a member private diary that will not get replies if you prefer.

    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2012
  3. crumbum

    crumbum Active Member

    My birthday is the most consistently depressing day of my year. Only my family knows when it's my birthday, and I usually don't answer the phone that day, so I just have to endure deleting a few messages and move on. I would try that, take a kinda 'personal day' for yourself on your birthday. Call in sick, turn your phone off, and spend the day watching movies and eating shit. It's the best we can do I think...

    I don't know if I can agree with Jump about the temporary thing. Maybe it's true for most people though, I don't know, but not for a lot of us. I lost hope long ago that I would ever not be depressed. It will never happen for me, no matter the meds, or doctors, or psychs... I think the best people like us can do is to find a mix that harms us least, and live with the rest of the pain as best we can, trying new methods when we feel motivated, trying to find meaning in a meaningless existence. I try not to let myself think of the bigger picture so much, that helps, focusing on momentary needs. Sometimes I find things that excite me or motivate me for awhile, but inevitably I destroy them.. ok This most like isn't helping, I'll shush now..

    Sorry you feel so crummy.. I feel much as you do..
     
  4. J58

    J58 Member

    Actually, it helps alot. Thank you. My best wishes for you, too.
     
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