Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by lozzie, Jan 24, 2016.

  1. lozzie

    lozzie Well-Known Member

    I am about to go out tonight with my boyfriend, firstly dropping my friend and her kids off at another friends house then going out. I have yet to want to do all those things, crazy right? These are the sort of things that are supposed to bring me joy- and at times do.
    I am struggling to come to terms with having a purpose- and I know that it will be a on going thing.
    I seriously feel like binge eating, I have so much anger right now and I just want to feel a little lighter before I go out but there is just no time. I should really just open my mouth and talk to the two people that care so much for me, but I have a habit of just not saying anything at all. My mind believes that festering it all inside is super healthy- which it is not.
    why must my mind be so damaged and dislocated.....???!!!!
    and i am rambling for some reason..... ahhh don't even wanna finish this thread because my mind is being just too negative sorry xo
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    There is no need to be sorry here. That is what we are here for in your time of need and distress. If you want to chat/vent/rant, feel completely free to do so. I'm sorry you are feeling this way, my advice is to just keeping talking about it and maybe eventually you can gather up the courage to tell the people that care about you exactly what is going on inside your head and all your issues, talking here is a first step. Good luck to you!
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I too am glad you are reaching out here talking it helps to release some of the tension a bit inside so keep doing that ok let go of the words here the emotions here so you can feel lighter
    2 people like this.
  4. lozzie

    lozzie Well-Known Member

    I have a few things on my mind and thats me being kind to myself- because usually there is a lot.
    I did something irrational last night, and now i feel like a loser- a nobody.
    Im feeling terribly sad and that life is something I will never figure out and that scares me!
    so much stuff is overloading my head- its overwhelming
  5. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    There is nothing at all to say that those kinds of things have to or should bring your joy - joy and happiness come from what you, yourself want to do, and that does not always necessaily mean going out to enjoy a day or night on the town, it can be as simple as staying at home with a pizza on the lounge and watching television or listening to your favourite radio program.

    Everyone, no matter who it is in life is struggling to find their purpose, and I do not just mean career-wise, but what we are to do in life that benefit not only others, but ourselves as well, so you definitely are not alone there, even though you might feel that way at times.

    Sometimes the hardest thing in life is to open up to people about how we feel, even to those who are closest to us in life, but if it comes to talking about what you are going theough, how you are feeling, as opposed to keeping it bottled it up and fighting it endlessly within your own mind day in and day out, I really hope that you do decide to confide in someone, otherwise what you think and feel can consume you to the point where you eventually feel there is no way back and that could well lead to wanting to end things for yourself and, after being there myself, I wish those kind of thoughts and feelings on anyone, not even my worst enemies.

    I am on-line a lot of the time and since we are both from Australia, we have the same time zone, so if any time you wish you talk, about how you feel or just about anything to pass the time when you are bored, you are always free to send me a PM (conversation), I will always reply within an hour, so you never are alone here on SF.