That day of the year...

#1
Hey everyone,
June first is going to be a rough day for me. I'm trying to talk about it a bit now, so that on Thursday I'm not a complete mess.
In 2006 I had a friend die, she was 8. She had a lot of physical issues, but still managed to get to 3rd grade in her homeschooling,and had made a lot of progress with her disabilities before she passed away...it just sucks to think about all of the things that I've done, that she'she'll never get to do, and yet also the things she'll never have to suffer....It's always been a hard day for my family, especially since no one wants to ever bring it up, so I don't really have anyone that knew her that I can talk to and remember her with. It's even more conflicting (yet easier to bury) because it's also my dad's birthday, so everyone just focuses on that. Last year, I asked my mom if she was ok, and she snapped at me, "Well NOW I'm not!" Idk what I'm looking for here, just wanted to share I guess.
 
#3
Sorry that the memory of your friend's death still hurts so much

I don't really have anyone that knew her that I can talk to and remember her with
What about your friend's family? I don't know what her relationship was like with her family, but there's a good chance that they are having some of the same feelings that you are having. Maybe you could look them up

Your friend was lucky to have a friend like you that cares so much
 
#4
hi cyphinatsea since your not able to talk about your friends death to your family you talk all you want here on sf let it out release those emotions if you need to talk you can always pm me because i can understand where your coming from because i have just lost someone close to me as well my grandmother.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#5
Hi @CyphinatSea, sorry about your friend. Maybe you could create a simple ritual to remember your friend, honoring her life and mourning her lost future. This could be as simple as placing some flowers next to a lit candle while you quietly remember her. You could also add a short poem, a prayer, or a short letter you have written to her.
 

JacsMom

Staff Alumni
#6
Hi @CyphinatSea , I totally understand how hard that day is for you. I lost my daughter many years ago, and the anniversary always still rips my heart out. To help me cope, I spend it with one of my daughter's friends. We go to the cemetary and leave white roses. (there is a story behind that) Then we try to do something meaningful. This past year we went to the humane society and made a donation in my daughter's memory. She loved animals and it seemed fitting. Then we have dinner together and talk about whatever we feel like, including my daughter. It doesn't "fix" things, but it always helps to be with someone else who loves her. Maybe you could try something along those lines...is there anyone else who knew her that you could spend the day or part of it with? On my daughter's birthday, I always send up balloons with a note attached. I just think it's easier to acknowledge the day, rather than spending it alone and grieving.
 
#7
Sorry I didn't respond to all of you sooner, but your support really did help. Unfortunately, my family lost touch with her family after she passed. The parents divorced and no one has heard from her father since. I think my mom still on the rare occasion talked to the mother, but I'm not sure. And they lived in a different state than we did, so no one in my town knew her, and I didn't know anyone else from her town. I "talk" to her sometines, and I wrote a poem for her last year actually. But I still found myself trying to keep busy this year, but I didn't cry, so that was good I suppose.
 
#8
To help me cope, I spend it with one of my daughter's friends. We go to the cemetary and leave white roses. (there is a story behind that) Then we try to do something meaningful. This past year we went to the humane society and made a donation in my daughter's memory. She loved animals and it seemed fitting. Then we have dinner together and talk about whatever we feel like, including my daughter.
It sounds like you've dealt with the loss of your daughter in about as healthy a way as you could.
Do you want to tell the story of the white roses?
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$70.00
Goal
$255.00
Top