If I was a rat I would jump ship. Unfortunately I am the captain so I guess I have to go down with it instead. I'm so tired of trying to stay afloat in this world when I seems like everything is geared for pulling me under. I finally completed a project I was working on and got paid, only to have to give it all away so I still can't get my kids what they need. It wouldn't be so bad except I am a single dad and if I can't provide for them there is not fall back plan. I know it sounds like I am whining, maybe I am, but life is sucking the life right out of me and I am really losing any and all motivation to keep trying and I don't like that. I don't need much, I want my kids happy, a few good friends close enough to associate with, and my bills paid. I want to beat this depressed sinking feeling and live instead of exist.