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the big black dog has come home to me

Jayjay289

Jay Jay from the UK
#1
Once again I find myself huddled in the corner of the room with the black dog in front of me bearing his teeth and growling and barking at me.

I have been on this site for 2 years now and had ups and down, I have made great friends and also fallen out with people.

I struggle with emotions and feelings and today is a struggle, I have so many feelings and emotions along with fear.

what am I scared of, Im scared of being happy and living a full life, its because of my anxiety latley I have lost the fight to it and the anxiety has ruled me not me rule it. I need to find a way to beat the fear within, I feel lost and hopeless and feel that hope is fading away, i want to go back 4 years and start again back to a place where I was full of smiles and couldnt be beaten and not have fear and worry, why 4 years do you ask, because that was a time where i was so so happy and full of promise and happy thoughts with a good and bright future not what i have now as i type this i have tears rolling down my cheeks.

I gave up a life that would of led me down a different path and right now i am 50/50 on the regret scale... i have flash backs and invisage how my life would of been now had i stuck on the path i was on and not strayed but i strayed off the path that i was on onto a path that was meant to make me happier but its made me sadder. and i cant get back on that path anymore i have travelled to far down the path that I am on now!

im a man with sorrow and regrets and I dont want anyone to go through what I am going through right now...

I love you all

jay jay
 

Lekatt

Love Cats Love All
SF Supporter
#2
We all make mistakes. We do things we later regret, but try not to dwell on the mistakes in your life, just learn from them, and carry on. Forgive yourself often. It is a learning process everyone of us has experienced. In my signature are a few ways that may help. Check them out if you desire.
 

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