I have been struggling with major depression for most of my life. I have been medication compliant for the past 14 years, meaning I have taken all the medication my pdoc has rolled out, along with ECT to try to stay stable and hold down a full-time job. The trouble is that along with my perceived stability came an enormous weight gain and along with this weight gain and depression comes intense isolation. My husband called me out on it last night and I have to say I agree, but I can't seem to change. I am so tried from faking my "up" attitude, and so embarrassed by my weight gain that I come home and want to stay home. I have to cook dinner every night because my mother-in-law lives with us and does not cook. Then I go to bed just so I can cover my head with my blankets and regroup. I know I should exercise, go for a walk after dinner, something, but I have neither the desire nor the motivation.... I am just so tired from the stress of the day. I feel I push myself just to exist and I don't even WANT to exist. What does everyone else do? How do you stay stable and not isolated?