Therapist possibly M.I.A

[sadhart]

I feel bad making this post as I have hardly been here to contribute in any kind of meaningful way. But last week I was supposed to have an appointment with my therapist. The sessions are online. But I ended up emailing her that morning saying that I would like to reschedule. It wasn't until that afternoon that she responded, saying that it was no problem and that she would let me know what her next available would be as she was driving home. But I never heard back from her. I ended up writing another email a couple of days later but still nothing.

This week, I sent her another one on Tuesday to again no response. Yesterday, I wrote once more saying how I was a bit confused and concerned and hoped everything was okay. Still nothing.

So I'm now facing the very real possibility that something bad must have happened to my therapist. I feel guilty because maybe I should not have canceled that day. I also feel selfish as I'm sad that I was making progress opening up about some hard things and I just don't think I can do so again with another different therapist.

Right now I just feel really sad and hopeless and powerless regarding this.

 

[AvidFan]

Sorry to hear this. I have experienced issues now and then with therapists before. I saw a therapist for a few years but they decided on a career change so we had to stop - she worked out of 2 places and once turned up at the wrong one so I turned up somewhere and was waiting half an hour before I found out what happened. I had a therapist in lockdown I saw for another couple of years, she had to cancel a few times last minute, and in the end just cancelled on me a day before citing "family problems" and said she couldn't see me again - no ending or anything.

Not had what you describe happen but the above and your experience shows therapists are human, things happen and they make mistakes. In no way whatsoever is this your fault - anything could have come up in the short term, they could be incapacitated, but it sounds like a them problem, not you. Some therapists are required or advised to have it setup so if something happens to them, a colleague can inform their clients. But not sure how it will be where you are.

Fingers crossed the therapist pops back up. Have you had much email exchange before? Some therapists are very bad at this and can take 3-4 days to reply to emails. So it might be worth giving it just a bit more time.

I hope this helps.

 

[may71]

I'm sorry she's MIA. Is there any way you could get info about what's going on through a third party? I'm not sure if she's operating completely independently or through an organization.

 

[Windhover]

@sadhart That has happened to me a couple of years ago. Similar series of events ending in no communication from the office and no response from her. I did receive a refund, just no explanation. I had to surmise they felt unable to help me, but it's only a guess.

I hope you are alright.

 

[sadhart]

Sorry to hear this. I have experienced issues now and then with therapists before. I saw a therapist for a few years but they decided on a career change so we had to stop - she worked out of 2 places and once turned up at the wrong one so I turned up somewhere and was waiting half an hour before I found out what happened. I had a therapist in lockdown I saw for another couple of years, she had to cancel a few times last minute, and in the end just cancelled on me a day before citing "family problems" and said she couldn't see me again - no ending or anything.

Not had what you describe happen but the above and your experience shows therapists are human, things happen and they make mistakes. In no way whatsoever is this your fault - anything could have come up in the short term, they could be incapacitated, but it sounds like a them problem, not you. Some therapists are required or advised to have it setup so if something happens to them, a colleague can inform their clients. But not sure how it will be where you are.

Fingers crossed the therapist pops back up. Have you had much email exchange before? Some therapists are very bad at this and can take 3-4 days to reply to emails. So it might be worth giving it just a bit more time.

I hope this helps.

I'm sorry about those experiences that you had. I had a previous therapist that either forget that she was supposed to see me one day, or the person at the front desk didn't tell her I was there or both, but rather than even try to make up the over half an hour that I sat in the waiting room for, she just saw me for about twenty minutes and ended the session with a "oh well, what can you do?" kind of attitude. I try to see them as being human, but when they don't show the same consideration, it's kind of hard to talk to them.


So I ended up getting an email from her. She said that she thought she had sent me a response but that it either never went through or she just forgot to hit send. She apologized for making me worry and let me know nothing bad happened and it was just that she had been really busy. So I guess I'm pretty relieved that all this just some miscommunication and a busy schedule.

 

[sadhart]

@sadhart That has happened to me a couple of years ago. Similar series of events ending in no communication from the office and no response from her. I did receive a refund, just no explanation. I had to surmise they felt unable to help me, but it's only a guess.

I hope you are alright.

I'm sorry they ended things like that. Doing that to someone can make it hard to trust the mental health system moving forward. I hope that it didn't discourage you from talking to someone else.

My therapist responded yesterday, so that has alleviated some of my worries. I suppose I'm back to worrying about other things more like not being worth love and acceptance.

 

[may71]

So I ended up getting an email from her

I'm glad you heard from her and that things are ok.

 

[sadhart]

I'm sorry she's MIA. Is there any way you could get info about what's going on through a third party? I'm not sure if she's operating completely independently or through an organization.

I think she has her own therapy setup but maybe it's through some kind of counseling group. I do know that she started working in a supervisory role at a mental health center in the area but I'm not sure exactly which one. Looking back, I suppose I could have called her, which I have never tried doing. I'm at least glad she finally responded yesterday though. I feel kind of dumb worrying so much about her though.

 

[may71]

I feel kind of dumb worrying so much about her though.

I think it was entirely reasonable to worry under the circumstances. You had tried to contact her a number of times over about a week, so I think it's understandable.

 

[AvidFan]

I'm sorry about those experiences that you had. I had a previous therapist that either forget that she was supposed to see me one day, or the person at the front desk didn't tell her I was there or both, but rather than even try to make up the over half an hour that I sat in the waiting room for, she just saw me for about twenty minutes and ended the session with a "oh well, what can you do?" kind of attitude. I try to see them as being human, but when they don't show the same consideration, it's kind of hard to talk to them.


So I ended up getting an email from her. She said that she thought she had sent me a response but that it either never went through or she just forgot to hit send. She apologized for making me worry and let me know nothing bad happened and it was just that she had been really busy. So I guess I'm pretty relieved that all this just some miscommunication and a busy schedule.

Thanks, and I'm glad things seem to have resolved now. I have done that a few times myself, I suppose anyone can do it - yesterday I sent someone a message and later wondered why they hadn't replied - turns out I hadn't hit send, I'd just typed the message then got sidetracked. And I come across people doing this with me all the time, so looks like therapists are not immune from it either - if it happens a lot that would be a concern, but a one off seems par for the course. Some email systems are pretty rubbish too, for saving things into draft instead of sending them - or a mix of human and tech error.

When the therapist turned up to the wrong place she just rescheduled without fuss and offered me a free session to make up, which was decent (was private therapist).