things are getting worse

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by _Lily_, Nov 8, 2012.

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  1. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Things are getting worse am exercising for about 2 hours a day on a bike which is about 1000 calories for 2 hours am eating but its in the minuses yesterday i was -250
    my husband says he wants me to eat more but i just cant its too much food ... wants me to eat what i have burned and 500 calories it feels too much for me to eat.
    I am losing weight but its not fast enough
    Am also taking fat burners as well
    I really want to take laxatives as well but my husband would find out and throw them out
    Am getting no help for my eating disorder i have seen a dr and she just weights me ...My dr said i really need to see deitition /nutritionist but i either have to have a BMI of 17 my bmi is 43 or diabetic witch am not

    Av been to see another dr but there not taking me seriously
    I just feel that i don't matter any more but that is fine if they want me to play there game i will ill get down to bmi 17 and then they will make me get help and ill tell them to fuck off because they didn't help me at the start of this when i needed the help at the beginning of this
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 8, 2012
  2. TheRunaway

    TheRunaway Active Member

    Hi, Zombie.:zombie: :hugtackles: It seems as if you are compulsive exercising, and restricting, which is already/or can manifest into an eating disorder. Of course your husband wanting you to eat a healthy caloric intake is going to feel like a lot of food, especially compared to your current intake. With most eating disorder patients comes this intense fear that we'll gain weight. It's a powerful fear, and seems to consume our every thought at times. So you control that fear with excessive exercising and restricting. Maybe you don't meet the BMI requirements for that of an eating disorder, but you are aware you have disordered eating (whether that be anorexia, or EDNOS). Either way, you have abnormal eating and exercising behaviors. As for the doctor, I'm not sure what you can do to be emitted for an in or out patient treatment. I'm not sure I met all the requirements when I was emitted awhile back, but they realized I needed help. If you don't already have one, and you can get one, I would suggest getting a therapist. Even though that isn't necessarily the proper treatment for eating disorders, I was put in therapy and basically discussed how I felt about eating, body image, and weight loss and yadda, yadda, yadda, along with a personalized diet, and frequent doctor visits. It did help me recover a bit. I'm still nowhere near where I should be, but I'm slowly getting better and I've no doubt you will too. Since your doctor's seem to be ignoring you, you can take matters into your own hands to help recover. Throw out your scale. I know that seems so difficult, but staying away from anything and everything triggering is in your best interests. Slowly, but surely, increase your caloric intake each day, or every other day. You can do ten more a day, or a hundred more, just slowly try to creep back up to 1,200 (which is a healthy intake). You can keep exercising, but lessen the amount you exercise each day. Try 1 hour a day on the bike, until you feel like you have control again. Another thing that helped...Jenni Schaefer!!!! Her books are phenomenal and were recommended to me by my therapist. It's obvious you want to get better. And it's amazing that you acknowledge that you have a problem. You may not feel like you have the resources to get better, but you do. :hug: You can always message me if you need anything.
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