Sorry in advance; this is kind of long and rambling, and I'm new here. I have a lot of social problems; I get somewhat nervous sometimes, and things like that. Well, my girlfriend pretty much changed all that while we were together; we were together for almost two years, and I legitimately love her. Even though we don't have all the same interests, I still wouldn't want to be with anyone else. First, our best friend was in a rut, so we were spending all of our time helping him feel better. But during this, we couldn't be a couple around him or he'd be more upset, since it'd remind him why he was upset. So, for several weeks it was like I didn't even have a girlfriend. Then I got depressed because of it, and said friend started feeling better and stealing my thunder; getting words in before I could, drawing everyone's attention, and all that. Then a month ago, she broke up with me. She said she felt like I needed to learn who I was, and more or less grow up. Not in as mean a way as that sounds. Then, not even two weeks later, my best friend starts making moves on her. I confronted him, and he tried to tell me he wasn't, because he didn't want to "lose our friendship". I told him my ex told me herself, and he never responded back since then. So now, I don't really have anyone. The few people I have left never have the time to spend with me, and I've gotten to the point where I feel completely alone and isolated and scared every night. I can't really sleep anymore, and all I want to do is feel her again. On top of all of this, I have a condition called Meniere's Disease, where I have a faulty balance nerve. Because of it, I couldn't keep my job, and I need this new job to pay for the therapy sessions I just started today. But now, it looks like I'm going to have to have the surgery fairly soon, which will involve removing a section of my skull, and about eight weeks of rehabilitation. I'm tired of being alone, I'm tired of being sick, and sometimes I just want to let myself bleed to death. But even through it all, I can't even bring myself to cry, even though I want to; for some reason, I just can't. And I want to hurt myself, but I don't even know why, and it would hurt others too much for me to do it. I don't know what to do. I'm miserable, and all I want is her back, but it's just not going to happen.