Okay, so there’s something going on with me that I’ve made a point of not mentioning so far. And honestly, I’m kinda hesitant to bring it up at all. I’m afraid of what people might think. But, the fact is, it’s affecting me more than almost anything else. But if I can’t talk about it someplace where I’m anonymous, then I don’t know what the hell else I can do, so here goes. I’ve mentioned here that I have anxiety and that I’m agoraphobic, what I haven’t mentioned is what I’m anxious about. I have these thoughts. More than thoughts really. Not quite beliefs because there’s always a part of me that knows they’re not true. But, when things get bad, that part can get really small compared to the other part of me that insists (sometimes it feels like it’s screaming at me) that they must be true. It’s a few different things. Sometimes I think people are following me and spying on me. Sometimes, when people are talking to me, I think that they’re speaking in some kind of code that I’m expected to interpret. Sometimes I think that everyone around me can hear my thoughts. These things are ridiculous. I know that. Most of the time. Why would anyone follow me? I’m nobody. Why would random people be giving me coded messages and, if they were, why would no one ever teach me how to interpret them? And really, everybody in the world can read minds except for one random guy, and nobody ever talks about it? That’s fucking absurd. So I know these things aren’t and can’t be true. But part of me doesn’t know it. And when things get bad, like they have lately, that part of me gets a lot bigger and stronger. And the only way I know to shut it up, to stop the thoughts from consuming me, is to act as though they were true. So I shut myself away where no one can see me, and I go out into the world as little as humanly possible, and I don’t talk to anyone. But I’m really fucking scared because I think it means there’s something seriously wrong with me.