Thoughts about hiding suicide as accident to minimize loved ones trauma

[Dinger]

Hi all. My mind is scrambled now so it kinda feels hard to make my point.
I hope this post is accepted. If any admin decides to delete it I'd kinda appreciate a pm. I'm not gonna protest I just don't wanna carry the feeling of my efforts writing this went with zero feedback apart from a ban.

I've had this thought that any suicide I could morally defend had to be in the form of an accident, because the trauma of someone killing themselves was way bigger than someone dying in an accident. I don't carry any research to back this but I assume an accident is less traumatic...
Anyway so in this context suicide had to be hidden as an accident, which would make it so much more difficult.

But then I thought that it was only children that was at the risk of the biggest trauma, and that grown ups should basically be able to get over it, and therefore an obvious suicide would be ok, because the children can just be lied to until they come of age and are capable of grasping the concept of suicide. if that makes sense.

Anyway, so I just wanted to see if that made sense to anyone.

Have a good one, cheers

 

[KM76710]

Hello and welcome to the forum. I would say there will be trauma regardless and probably will be discovered to not be an accident considering modern science. I hope you decide to stick around, join in with others who may be thinking similarly and find some comfort and support here. Wishing the best for you.

 

[Dinger]

Hello and welcome to the forum. I would say there will be trauma regardless and probably will be discovered to not be an accident considering modern science. I hope you decide to stick around, join in with others who may be thinking similarly and find some comfort and support here. Wishing the best for you.

Thanks for your reply

When it comes to trauma I'd rather choose the word shock, as I choose to differenciate between a childs reaction to a adults reaction. Most of us have a life of hardship growing up and things that would traumatize us as a child will only be a shock as an adult. Exeption ofc. is for example coming over a disturbing scene with blood and other matters...

When it comes to hiding the suicide I hear ya but disagree. I'm in the medical field and it's incredibly easy to hide a suicide. it's actually more likely that a great number of suicides has been taken as accidents.

Anyways, I greatly appreciate your answer. Felt good "hearing" another persons voice

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

I've had this thought that any suicide I could morally defend had to be in the form of an accident, because the trauma of someone killing themselves was way bigger than someone dying in an accident.

Whether made to appear like an accident, or not, I don't think there's ever a moral defense for it. Suicide isn't about a failure in morality. If it's a failure of anything, it's of a person's critical thinking ability, caused by depression. It's a blunder, a mistake, of colossal proportions. Try to cast it in those terms when those thoughts reappear, resist getting sucked into the false narrative that says it makes sense in any way, shape or form, because it just doesn't.

 

[1964dodge]

welcome to SF @Dinger . we are a peer community that cares but never judges. please look at the forums and post when you feel comfortable. we also have a good chat section if you prefer real time.

i want you to consider that most people here including me wanted to commit suicide. but most of us are still here and are finding ways to cope. most of us are glad and very grateful the members of SF helped us to choose life. this means if you let us we may be able to help you too.

and making it look like an accident is harder than it looks. it's also harder to succeed in a suicide. they usually investigate why a death happens including mental health before the death.

i ended up here when i was looking for methods to make it look accidental. if you die in an accident or illness family and friends will be very sad. but a suicide they will never ever get over it. they will always blame themselves. and you can never be sure on how it's ruled.

please give us a chance we will listen and care about you...mike....

 

[Lisa the Goatgirl]

I would say that given the choice, it would be better to make it look like an accident than an obvious suicide, since even the healthiest adults can find themselves falling down that rabbit hole of wondering if they were somehow responsible for a person killing themselves. If there was more they could have done, if there were warning signs they should have picked up on, if they should have been more supportive or considerate. Suffice to say it can have a pretty catastrophic effect on the mental wellbeing of those who care about the suicidal person in question.

So yeah, making it look like an accident would be better, but i'd say the ideal outcome to aim for here is to not kill yourself at all, because even if they see it as an accident, your death would be a cause of a great deal of pain for the people who care about you, regardless of whether they had adult coping skills or not. I know a number of adults who have never recovered from losing people to accidents. It straight up ruined my sister when we lost our mum to a car accident, and she was an adult by then. It did even more damage to me since i was a child. Knowing it was an accident lessened the blow but it still isn't exactly the kind of thing you just recover from, it sticks with you.

 

[Walker]

Thank you for reading the rules before posting and not indicating anything specific you were considering here. We appreciate it.


Being that you're in the medical field, do you think that others would just accept that it was an accident? I think people are smarter than that right? In which case it still affects people the same. The adults understand what it was and they shield the children as best they can. If it were an obvious suicide they wouldn't tell the children in that case either right?

I think the idea is to push away from all this thinking though. Have you gotten professional help for the way your feeling?

 

[Nick]

The reality is that people who really care about you are effected if it's an accident or a suicide. Depending on the circumstances, the people who really know me and would give a rats ass about my death, would still be wondering if it really was an accident. I get where you thought process is at here, and I've gone down that road mentally myself before. I don't think in the long run it would make it any easier on anybody. The best thing is what others are talking about and trying to find a way out of the thought process that has lead you here.

 

[may71]

You may be underestimating how much your kids will need you (I'm assuming the children you're talking about here are your kids).

The death of a parent is also going to be severely traumatic whether it was by suicide or not.

Much better if you can find out a way to live. We may be able to help you do that.

Wishing you good things

 

[Hopeiseverything]

I have been thinking about this myself....
today especially.....then I look at my family and I just can’t. If they knew how I feel every day they would be astonished...I fake it very well.

 

[1964dodge]

I have been thinking about this myself....
today especially.....then I look at my family and I just can’t. If they knew how I feel every day they would be astonished...I fake it very well.

 

[Legate Lanius]

If you did not chose to live, and you did not make the decision for others; then why would you not be able to decide for yourself about your own life?

 

[Nolunny]

MakIng it look like accident means no goodbye note !