Three Years Now

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by pickwithaustin, Oct 4, 2013.

  1. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    It has been three years now since we lost my son, Alan. Alan suffered from depression and he took his life in October of 2010. He was 18 years of age.

    Alan was a great musician and he was in a reggae/Christian music band that was about to receive a major sponsor endorsement. Prior to his success in music, he had modeled for catalogs and publications, and had a small re-occurring role in a Disney TV series. He was ultra talented, good looking, and he had a very caring and passionate heart. He was known in our neighborhood as the kid who all the children looked up to, and who would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.

    His loss totally changed the lives of all his family left behind; my wife, and his two brothers. When people justify by saying, "Eventually you get over it," they most surely do not understand what love is. You may find ways over time to better cope, but you never lose that empty hole that suicide leaves behind. I don't care how much someone thinks their family or friends will recover, it simply is not true. I don't mean this to give anyone a guilt trip, but I am now the authority on this topic and I can only speak words which are true, accurate, and experienced.

    There is always a way out that is more positive, and what seems hopeless now can easily reverse and change later on in life. To take your life, and leave no option for changing your mind and reversing that decision later, is not proper. A sound decision is always backed by a contingency plan to reverse a decision that may not be right but which was made based upon a current situation at the time.

    My son can't come back. My life shall forever never be the same without him.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 4, 2013
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you hun and i understand the pain never leaves one at all. No one gets over it
  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    ((Pick)) thanks for saying what you did here... Very much so.. It is the truth kind sir
  4. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    hopefully it helps to be here with us.
  5. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Tears... & Thank you for sharing this... I know the void from losing my mother but losing ones child bears unthinkable pain & distress... I am so sorry for your loss... our children are our lives and our hearts... the void must be immense. :arms:
    Your post hits home and rings true ad makes me think do I really want to rob my children of their Mum...
  6. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    i never knew this and i am deeply sorry for your loss, as you know from chat i understand your pain and hopefully one day for you and me we can better cope with our issues.
  7. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Today marks the exact day, to the day... three years. As we remember this, we sit in the hospital with our dear young friend (almost like an adopted daughter) who is dying rapidly from cancer. We are, in fact, amazed that she has fought to make it through the night. I've run home to feed the pets and chickens, grab a bite to eat, and will be heading back to the hospital in about a half hour.
  8. mbczion

    mbczion Well-Known Member

    Sorry for your loss PWA. I remember in another thread of mine (when I was writing a "suicide letter") you had mentioned losing your son to suicide and it really made me take a few steps back and think long and hard. Sorry to hear about your young friend as well.
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Oh hun so sad dam cancer it takes so many away hugs to you and i hope your friends family have all support they need to survive this
  10. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Thanks again, you all. My friend is still hanging on... a bit better at the moment, but the inevitable shall happen at some point here. My wife has taken a leave from work to help be with her and I get to the hospital every time I get a break from working. Being there for someone is important.