Tired of hurting

[sadhart]

Probably used this subject title other times but I don't care. Something really small, some would say comedic,brought on this painful reminder of how much living can hurt. I struggle to feel that I'm worth love and acceptance, and that is hard in itself. But it's seeing others around me be worth that is too much. I really hate life and how no matter how long I've been sober or how much I try to improve I will never be worth those two things. So what is the reason to keep trying in vain? Sorry for rambling but I've just keep finding myself feeling like shit.

 

[iloverachel]

I feel your pain my friend
I hope you find love and acceptance soon, because you are kind, caring and deserve it a lot
I hope in the future you no longer hate life or feel like shit
Please keep on venting, we are listening and we care

 

[may71]

Something really small, some would say comedic,brought on this painful reminder of how much living can hurt.

You're welcome to say what happened if you'd like to.

 

[BarryW]

I am frequently bothered by things that most folks would probably consider 'small' or 'little' or not even noticeable. It's hard to restrain myself sometimes. Whatever else is going on, don't beat yourself up over how you feel about this event.

 

[Windhover]

We and our brains need the sense of connection and for those of us who don't have it? What happens is for me a lot of nightmares and day after day of masks. I
am tired too @sadhart . I hope you know it's okay to ramble.

 

[Astrid78]

I understand what you wrote, about seeing others being worth love and acceptance.
Hugs @sadhart

 

[sadhart]

You're welcome to say what happened if you'd like to.

Sorry, I forgot to respond to this sooner. I just continue finding myself feeling as though I'm searching for things that I can never obtain. I have such a love/hate relationship with going out and doing things because it really sucks being around others. Not too long ago I went to a Goodwill store and listened to this man and woman talking and getting to know each other. Didn't seem like he had to try too hard and it was a reminder of how inadequate I am when it comes to socializing.

 

[may71]

Sorry, I forgot to respond to this sooner.

That's ok. I only meant it to be a respond-if-you-want-to question.

Didn't seem like he had to try too hard and it was a reminder of how inadequate I am when it comes to socializing.

Some people are more extroverted, some are more introverted. Certainly being extroverted makes it easier to meet people, but that doesn't mean that being introverted is bad.

 

[AvidFan]

Sorry you are struggling @sadhart and sorry you feel such pain 😥

 

[sadhart]

That's ok. I only meant it to be a respond-if-you-want-to question.

Some people are more extroverted, some are more introverted. Certainly being extroverted makes it easier to meet people, but that doesn't mean that being introverted is bad.

From my experience, people look at introverts like me with disgust and disdain. Today has been me trying to not think about so many of my past wounds, only for them to bombard me all day.

 

[may71]

I hope there's some way you can heal Sadhart

 

[SamB]

You are already worth all those things.
Don’t give up, social skills can be learnt and improved on with practice. The more you get out there and put yourself in those situations the more used to it you will become and the better at handling them.

 

[sadhart]

You are already worth all those things.
Don’t give up, social skills can be learnt and improved on with practice. The more you get out there and put yourself in those situations the more used to it you will become and the better at handling them.

Honestly, sometimes I hate trying to socialize. I sure as hell hate seeing others do so because it just reminds me how inept i am at it. I just feel like giving up on trying to do so, you know? Like, I just feel so jaded and resentful for all the past hurts and rejections and it's like just screw all of this. I'm sorry for being so negative like this. It has been a really bad weekend.

 

[may71]

I'm sorry for being so negative like this.

It's ok, you're allowed to express negativity here. No one is expecting folks here to be positive all the time.

I hope things can get better Sadhart

 

[sadhart]

It's ok, you're allowed to express negativity here. No one is expecting folks here to be positive all the time.

I hope things can get better Sadhart

i didn't go to work today. I feel bad for not doing so but I just still didn't feel okay today. I am not even sure taking the day off really helped much. Had two separate bad dreams this morning. Know they're just dreams but they kind of bothered me of how real they felt.

 

[iloverachel]

i didn't go to work today. I feel bad for not doing so but I just still didn't feel okay today. I am not even sure taking the day off really helped much. Had two separate bad dreams this morning. Know they're just dreams but they kind of bothered me of how real they felt.