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To Marjo

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by mari-anne, Feb 4, 2013.

  1. mari-anne

    mari-anne Member

    It has been 2 weeks now.
    I miss you Marjo, and it hurts.
    I am afraid I have not been a good sister to you.
    As I have read some of your threads here I saw you so sensitive and fragile, it feels so sad and heartbreaking. Why have you not show that to me? Why have you hidden that side from me?
    I know you were struggling but you never let me feel how deep it was going.
    Now I know it went a lot deeper than I could ever imagine, much deeper than I ever thought and it hurts so much.
    It is too late, I can not do nothing anything more for you. I wish I had done more. I am so sorry!
    I love you Marjo! I hope you have found peace now and I truly hope that you are happy again (with Cedric?)
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    You did what you could. That's all any of us can do.
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you did the best you could. marjo was very determined.
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I am sorry for your loss. You did the best you could. I just hope she is at peace now :hug:
  5. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    Marianne, you have been a good sister. Marjo told you where to find her posts, here on SF, and that means she had such love and trust for you!
  6. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Marianne - I think Marjo knew that hers was a pain so deep and overwhelming, that really the only ones who can understand are those who have had that loss. No matter how close, how well-meaning, we don't have the words to accurately describe the depth of the suffering
  7. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    So sorry for your terrible loss, please don't blame yourself,my thoughts are with you.
  8. mari-anne

    mari-anne Member

    Thank you all for your healing words. I can understand why Marjo came here.
    Thank you in name of Marjo to all who has done something for her, who have spoken to her, listened to her...Thank you all so much.
  9. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    It was a pleasure to try to help, this is why SF exists :); thank you for being faithful to Marjo's lasts requests Marianne, we are all here so sorry for your pain and loss, God bless you and your family.
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    No one can completely understand the amount of pain and mental anguish someone else is going through. We can only do the best we can with what we are given to work with. You did your best to help Marjo. You loved her, supported her, got her help many times even though she resisted it. You were a wonderful sister to her. Someone she loved and admired. Despite everything you, and everyone did to try and help ease her pain, it was still beyond the limits of what she could carry. In the end, the choice was hers and no matter what anyone did differently, the result would have been the same. Please do not any burden of guilt. Marjo would not have wanted that for you.
  11. mari-anne

    mari-anne Member

    As time goes by I realise that I have let you down in so many ways and that is very hurtfull to deal with.
    I know that 'what if' is so easily said... There is no more 'what if'... I am so sorry!

    RIP Marjo
    I love you so much and I miss you so very badly.
  12. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Ahh, Mari-anne, but there can still be more 'what if' - even now. Although not physically in the material world of course, and we mourn for that, it's true. And totally right and proper to mourn and grieve for the physical loss of a beautiful life.

    But you still have the 'what if's' that have resulted.

    "What if I continue to send you my love Marjo, across the divide...... you know how much I really loved you.........
    "What if I can come to understand that you have forgiven me for my human limitations, and understand that I did only what I thought was the best .....
    "What if I know that you do not reproach me for not being perfection .........
    "What if I have made losing you into the 'watershed' experience of my life, which will give your life meaning and continuation
    "What if I can see that you know and understand my sorrow and still love me anyway?

    In this way Mari-anne- although the historical what-if's cannot materialise - that does not mean there can be no positive looking ahead ones :) The natural feelings of grief, loss and sorrow are the raw material for building a future without Marjo's physical presence, as the truth is that life does and must go on, - and although not as we would have wanted, our losses can have meaning when they are allowed to transform us inside :) God bless you Mari-anne :angel:
  13. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You did what you thought was for the best. You tried to help her for a long time. I genuinely do not think you let her down.
  14. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    The 'what ifs' can only bring pain. Accepting how imperfect we all are, there will always be 'what ifs'...but IF they were considered the best course of action at the time, you would have done them. I have been a prisoner to these phrases myself (e.g. what if I got to my friend sooner; what if I would have driven E when she died in a car accident) but had to realize that I did not have this control...the 'what ifs' when guided towards the future may be very helpful but those comdemning ourselves for past behavior can only bring more pain from unrealistic standards...you have created no 'evil' nor any failure other than being human...a loving one at that...please take good care of yourself as you did for Marjo
  15. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    ((hug)) :(
    u ok out there?