Today we buried David.

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Tea_at_Four, Jun 17, 2013.

  1. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    David died on Tuesday evening, after an 18 month battle with cancer, in the presence of his wife and adult daughter, surrounded by their love. Today was his Green Burial service. For those of you who have not experienced this sort of farewell to a loved one, it is all about returning to the Earth. No embalming, no fancy vaults or polished caskets, just a simple casket or biodegradable box or, as in David's case, a wrapped shroud of plain cloth.

    I cannot adequately describe the impact of entering the chapel and seeing the body of a man, wrapped only in cloth, laid on a caisson without a casket for elegant camoflage. We walked together, some 50 of us, 1/4 mile to the meadow burial site, where the grave had already been dug. Amid guitar and flute music, David's friends lowered his body into the hole... and I could see that there was a person being being buried. Nothing else moves in the way a body does once the animating soul is gone. We buried a human.

    No matter how many pretty stories we tell each other about how we hope to meet again on the other side of death, once your heart stops, and your brain activity fades, that's what you get. Dead is dead. Memories are what remain, and such wonderful memories of love and life will sustain David's widow and daughter through their grief, bolstered by their friends and those who attended today to help fill the grave, first with 'biomass' (wood chips and mulch), then sand, and finally the local topsoil and gifts of flowers. David has been returned to the Earth by those who shared his life, and now we will take care of each other. And remember him. I left a pebble on the mounded dirt.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Rip david
  3. Raven

    Raven Guest

    [FONT=&quot]It’s strange dealing with death, our society at least here in America they try so hard to put a happy face on it. I remember the funerals I have been to, saying goodbye to someone that meant something to you in life is hard, just because who they are is not there anymore is meaningless you still know so deeply what the person meant to you, what they were and all the times spent with them. That is the hardest part of life, saying goodbye.[/FONT]
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Tea...sound so very peaceful...if my body was not already spoken for (I am awaiting the return of the papers to donated it), this sounds like something to do for the living...I am so sorry for your loss..know I am here and I care
  5. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    Thanks, my dears.

    My physical body responded to stress by catching a nasty bronchitis afterwards, but I have to say that actively participating in David's burial as part of a community was one of the 'best' funeral experiences I've ever had. There was definite 'closure', and David's wife noted that he would have been pleased that the task of filling in the grave was done. He was a man who liked to finish a task before beginning another.

    The physical activity, combined with the conversation, singing, weeping, and hugs was cathartic. What a gift to all of us.
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It sounds so sad yet beautiful at the same time.You have truly honored your friend. May you all find peace. :hug:
  7. houseofcards

    houseofcards Well-Known Member

    Rest in peace. A green funeral/burial is how I want to go out - seems a whole lot less gruesome than being full of chemicals that don't naturally belong there. I hope all friends and family are okay and at peace. :hug:
  8. prakash

    prakash Well-Known Member

    RIP David
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Rest in peace David.
  10. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Tea, just saw this now. :hug: and I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like it was a very moving experience and that David is truly at peace.