So in the last three weeks, my dog went through surgery, I went thru surgery, looking at a total of six weeks of being useless, completed another rotation around the sun (birthday), scrubbed and cleaned too much yesterday, agonizing in pain today, mother in law coming in tonight, my youngest is leaving with her for a month tomorrow, got to see my friend who I havent seen in over a year, starting up a new game from my own written paper RPG, and I;ve been sleeping on a love seat for two weeks and everything hurts. Tonight I had to finally take a pain killer. I have had plenty left over from the initial coming home. I dont know if its the pills or me, but I have been feeling like Im on the verge of tears and panic. Its been a while since I had an attack. I think the stress of everything has worn me down to the point of any excitement is now about to push me over. I feel kind of nutty. Nothing bad is happening now. I dont get it. I mean I understand it logically, but it isnt what I want. Part of me is ok with surpression but then I also know that there is a chance that it could end up making it worse. Supression is how I ended up in this mess to begin with. But I cant indulge this negativity everytime it comes up..