Practical Advice Trauma

[Kraken]

I just realized that some of the events in life were considered trauma and it really is manifesting with the suspicion, feelings of disconnection, fear etc.

What could I do to process this? So far, what helps to mitigate stress is journaling and writing poems but it does not resolve it. Self harm is the best at quickly bringing emotions down to a manageable level, also transfers emotional pain to physical pain which is easier to deal with.

Need some solid advice, no run of the mill advice (e.g. go see a CBT therapist as they are experts and know everything! They cure trauma.... Lol!!!).

I am also a bit afraid to unpack this. I am gathering info but there is so.much fear in taking an action step. Any useful perspectives on this would help.

 

[may71]

Sorry that you're realizing traumatic events. Hopefully there's a way that you can process them that will make things better than before you processed them.

Self harm is the best at quickly bringing emotions down to a manageable level, also transfers emotional pain to physical pain which is easier to deal with

There are probably some better mechanisms for coping than SH.

There's evidence that acupuncture can work as a better alternative to SH. You could also try acupressure, but it would be ideal to have someone recommend particular points to you (there may be some free telehealth appointments available to you).

These links may be of interest to you:

Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, World's Second Largest Medical System

Self-Treatment and Miscellaneous

Specific Info for Insomnia

US, UK, Canadian, and Broader International Resource Links

I've skimmed over some of your previous posts, and it sounds like living with an abusive parent is a root issue. In principle www.hotpeachpages.net might have some resources that could help.

Even if there are some cultural obstacles to leaving home, maybe there's a way around this. What about trying to live in another country, and faking a claim of being married to any nosey relatives? In general, it's good to be honest, but the priority here should be saving your life.

I hope something can help.

 

[johnDoen]

I just realized that some of the events in life were considered trauma and it really is manifesting with the suspicion, feelings of disconnection, fear etc.

What could I do to process this? So far, what helps to mitigate stress is journaling and writing poems but it does not resolve it. Self harm is the best at quickly bringing emotions down to a manageable level, also transfers emotional pain to physical pain which is easier to deal with.

Need some solid advice, no run of the mill advice (e.g. go see a CBT therapist as they are experts and know everything! They cure trauma.... Lol!!!).

I am also a bit afraid to unpack this. I am gathering info but there is so.much fear in taking an action step. Any useful perspectives on this would help.

It's all started with accepting that the trauma happened, and it makes you feel bad, and you are not defined by it. This acceptance is often very hard, especially for the latter one.

So write down the event, its impact on you, and then work on to state that such event should not be the definition of your life, you have the potential to change, so on. I'm not a therapist, but me and others can help you in emotional supports and maybe experience in dealing with traumas.

Then, you can move on to actions to deal with that trauma in real life. It really depends on the trauma.

Take care.

 

[HappyKitty]

Abusive parents isn’t necessarily trauma tho @may71. Everyone can has that, you need to go through assessment cause even if it is abusive parents is the cause of your trauma, you can’t change or control or teach your parents however badly they are, its back to focusing on you.

Idk whats your story behind it though but I’m glad I found someone similar. Trauma is this if yours effecting physical health like mine did and I notice the cycle-

Trauma causes pain that won’t be removed, there’ll be reminders about that pain so the pain is the main reason why you would kept focusing on it, then you’d have to slowly accept it cause it won’t be change as much as the pain is bothering you.

Not all therapist does CBT. You can try EMDR for emotional regulation like I did or any therapist expert in trauma or do grounding techniques.

Don’t beat yourself up and do self-harm, thats just like getting excited over a diagnosis before you get an accurate one when you’re supposed to be managing. Or it won’t go anywhere.

Best of luck.

 

[Atreides]

It's understandable that self harm helps you manage your emotional pain. But you're putting reminders of your trauma on your body. It would help to find alternatives that don't leave marks on your body. I used to have a problem with self harm. An alternative I learned was to hold ice in my hand. It got the job done without leaving a mark.

I think something that will help with the trauma is practicing self-compassion. I know you've tried journaling. Something I used to do was write a self-compassion journal. Let me know if you want details on writing a self-compassion journal. I could send examples to your inbox.

 

[Rockclimbinggirl]

What could I do to process this? So far, what helps to mitigate stress is journaling and writing poems but it does not resolve it.

Looking into grounding and self soothing skills might be a good idea. Like focusing on your senses.

 

[HappyKitty]

Looking into grounding and self soothing skills might be a good idea. Like focusing on your senses.

This helps me a lot. 😺

 

[Kraken]

Sorry that you're realizing traumatic events. Hopefully there's a way that you can process them that will make things better than before you processed them.


There are probably some better mechanisms for coping than SH.

There's evidence that acupuncture can work as a better alternative to SH. You could also try acupressure, but it would be ideal to have someone recommend particular points to you (there may be some free telehealth appointments available to you).

These links may be of interest to you:

Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, World's Second Largest Medical System

Self-Treatment and Miscellaneous

Specific Info for Insomnia

US, UK, Canadian, and Broader International Resource Links

I've skimmed over some of your previous posts, and it sounds like living with an abusive parent is a root issue. In principle www.hotpeachpages.net might have some resources that could help.

Even if there are some cultural obstacles to leaving home, maybe there's a way around this. What about trying to live in another country, and faking a claim of being married to any nosey relatives? In general, it's good to be honest, but the priority here should be saving your life.

I hope something can help.

I like the idea of a fake marriage and acupuncture, both are good ideas! Moving to a new country, I do not think I have the ability to pull that off. I do not even know how to buy a house, or do anything really. I can't manage a budget.

 

[Kraken]

It's understandable that self harm helps you manage your emotional pain. But you're putting reminders of your trauma on your body. It would help to find alternatives that don't leave marks on your body. I used to have a problem with self harm. An alternative I learned was to hold ice in my hand. It got the job done without leaving a mark.

I think something that will help with the trauma is practicing self-compassion. I know you've tried journaling. Something I used to do was write a self-compassion journal. Let me know if you want details on writing a self-compassion journal. I could send examples to your inbox.

Yes, I would love to learn how to write a self compassion journal. I will give the ice cubes a try.

 

[Kraken]

Looking into grounding and self soothing skills might be a good idea. Like focusing on your senses.

Maybe I should use that more often.

 

[Kraken]

Abusive parents isn’t necessarily trauma tho @may71. Everyone can has that, you need to go through assessment cause even if it is abusive parents is the cause of your trauma, you can’t change or control or teach your parents however badly they are, its back to focusing on you.

Idk whats your story behind it though but I’m glad I found someone similar. Trauma is this if yours effecting physical health like mine did and I notice the cycle-

Trauma causes pain that won’t be removed, there’ll be reminders about that pain so the pain is the main reason why you would kept focusing on it, then you’d have to slowly accept it cause it won’t be change as much as the pain is bothering you.

Not all therapist does CBT. You can try EMDR for emotional regulation like I did or any therapist expert in trauma or do grounding techniques.

Don’t beat yourself up and do self-harm, thats just like getting excited over a diagnosis before you get an accurate one when you’re supposed to be managing. Or it won’t go anywhere.

Best of luck.

I will ask for EMDR and see what is possible moneywise. How to accept yhr pain?

 

[Kraken]

It's all started with accepting that the trauma happened, and it makes you feel bad, and you are not defined by it. This acceptance is often very hard, especially for the latter one.

So write down the event, its impact on you, and then work on to state that such event should not be the definition of your life, you have the potential to change, so on. I'm not a therapist, but me and others can help you in emotional supports and maybe experience in dealing with traumas.

Then, you can move on to actions to deal with that trauma in real life. It really depends on the trauma.

Take care.

Thanks! I like that, that I am not defined by it. Yeah. I do welcome the support. I want this gone and I want to move one and create a new life to enhabit. I feel numb and disconnected that things are not real.

 

[HappyKitty]

I will ask for EMDR and see what is possible moneywise. How to accept yhr pain?

money wise im not sure in your country. you cannot accept your pain overnight and as always that I would say to others, do not assume. find the root of the issue and accurate diagnosis, you need to manage it first. there’s many tools/strategist to cope till you’re used it. therapist will teach you how to apply those, not internet. if you do have trauma, you’d be serious in focusing on managing your health and not blaming other reasons.

 

[Atreides]

Yes, I would love to learn how to write a self compassion journal. I will give the ice cubes a try.

I sent some info to your inbox about self-compassion journals.

 

[Dante]

I just realized that some of the events in life were considered trauma and it really is manifesting with the suspicion, feelings of disconnection, fear etc.

What could I do to process this? So far, what helps to mitigate stress is journaling and writing poems but it does not resolve it. Self harm is the best at quickly bringing emotions down to a manageable level, also transfers emotional pain to physical pain which is easier to deal with.

Need some solid advice, no run of the mill advice (e.g. go see a CBT therapist as they are experts and know everything! They cure trauma.... Lol!!!).

I am also a bit afraid to unpack this. I am gathering info but there is so.much fear in taking an action step. Any useful perspectives on this would help.

My sister had some trauma, she even got diagnosed with PTSD, she had horrible nightmares too, self harm, mood swings etc, and CBT did seem to help but at the same time I think it was more the fact that she confronted and sorted out her relationship with the one who caused it, she took control, both of that relationship and of her own mind, and had someone she could lean on when she was feeling weak (husband).

I also had my own issues which I seem to have largely resolved, I did this by finding the root cause, exactly what was pressuring my mind, and eliminating it, then leaning on someone I trust to slowly break down my own poor self-image.

I think when we find the root cause of our issues and take deliberate steps to take control and dismantle our issues that they eventually get resolved? I think the main problem for most is that it is either too painful to deal with, they dont think they deserve to think better of themselves, or they are not sure exactly what the root of it all really was. Sure maybe someone hurt you, but maybe you arent sure exactly WHY what they did hurt you so much or why you were so vulnerable to it, and its figuring THAT out and relieving yourself of your own self-recriminations that ultimately fixes things...

 

[HappyKitty]

I agree with @Dante and that I can take it seriously. I can strictly say to get an accurate diagnosis cause sometimes fear, self harm which is along those lines can be overlapping with anxiety and depression as well. So if you didn't get the root of the issue, you could be to that or I'm sorry I'm harsh- or it could be you're just sensitive to everything, not just triggers. Its the reality truth.

 

[Kraken]

My sister had some trauma, she even got diagnosed with PTSD, she had horrible nightmares too, self harm, mood swings etc, and CBT did seem to help but at the same time I think it was more the fact that she confronted and sorted out her relationship with the one who caused it, she took control, both of that relationship and of her own mind, and had someone she could lean on when she was feeling weak (husband).

I also had my own issues which I seem to have largely resolved, I did this by finding the root cause, exactly what was pressuring my mind, and eliminating it, then leaning on someone I trust to slowly break down my own poor self-image.

I think when we find the root cause of our issues and take deliberate steps to take control and dismantle our issues that they eventually get resolved? I think the main problem for most is that it is either too painful to deal with, they dont think they deserve to think better of themselves, or they are not sure exactly what the root of it all really was. Sure maybe someone hurt you, but maybe you arent sure exactly WHY what they did hurt you so much or why you were so vulnerable to it, and its figuring THAT out and relieving yourself of your own self-recriminations that ultimately fixes things...

Thank you. I really want to do that and over the past few days been writing down the core issues. It is scary to confront this and I am building up the courage to. I am so glad that people on this forum are responsive in a helpful way. Maybe i can lean on all of you to support me while I get to the core issues. I want to write more but I have to go or else i will be late for work. To be continued.

 

[Kraken]

I have not yet done much. I have been writing and doing the compassion journal. Just I find therapist have been such bad experiences, I am reluctant to meet her.

https://fb.watch/6kDjG_ZGTY/
2:44 - Gammy - oh my gosh! That unfortunatly happened and I feel like a fool. Life just does not work or I cannot find out how to be happy. I never had a love for life. issue/contentment/happiness issue before until now.

Another video I watched was about pulling each other up in life and solving circumstances will improve your life. I want to find a group like this.
Here is the video:

 

[Kraken]

I agree with @Dante and that I can take it seriously. I can strictly say to get an accurate diagnosis cause sometimes fear, self harm which is along those lines can be overlapping with anxiety and depression as well. So if you didn't get the root of the issue, you could be to that or I'm sorry I'm harsh- or it could be you're just sensitive to everything, not just triggers. Its the reality truth.

Yeah i need to get to the bottom of things. I am learning that threats on your life could possibly be called traumatic experiences. They even include things like having cancer, not being able to breathe, or car accidents/or violence. Things that could end your life or of someone you care about could be trauma.

 

[Kraken]

Sorry that you're realizing traumatic events. Hopefully there's a way that you can process them that will make things better than before you processed them.


There are probably some better mechanisms for coping than SH.

There's evidence that acupuncture can work as a better alternative to SH. You could also try acupressure, but it would be ideal to have someone recommend particular points to you (there may be some free telehealth appointments available to you).

These links may be of interest to you:

Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, World's Second Largest Medical System

Self-Treatment and Miscellaneous

Specific Info for Insomnia

US, UK, Canadian, and Broader International Resource Links

I've skimmed over some of your previous posts, and it sounds like living with an abusive parent is a root issue. In principle www.hotpeachpages.net might have some resources that could help.

Even if there are some cultural obstacles to leaving home, maybe there's a way around this. What about trying to live in another country, and faking a claim of being married to any nosey relatives? In general, it's good to be honest, but the priority here should be saving your life.

I hope something can help.

Accupunture is great.