I can't do this for much longer. It's always the problem and/or end of any relationship I'm in, romantic or friendship. I've got to a point where I'd rather loose somebody completely cause I physically cannot bring myself to open up to them. I look at photos of them and I practise, word for word, what I'd say to them. Even with just a photo, I physically can't make my brain make my mouth say the words. Even without the photos, just thinking about the people, I can't do it. I think it's a mixture of two things. 1 - I'm afraid they'll not understand it (my depression, self-harming, suicide attempts, social anxiety etc.) or that they'll judge me because they don't understand it. 2 - They'll tell other people. It's become a demon that's always in my head, it started off that I couldn't tell them these big things, but it's coming that I can't even talk to them about stupid little small things. I need help - does anybody else have trust issues and can advise anything? Thank you.