Two psychosis epsiodes

[memyselfand1]

I recently had psychosis episodes in February and March and it was the most frightening thing in the world. I had two episodes within weeks of each other, one happened I was with my friends house and literally felt as i living in a night/dream in/out reality and the other was a lot more serious. it happened at home. i hadn't slept for 4 days straight and my body was absolutely knackered, stressed because because my company were treating me like crap and my dog suddenly became ill on the Saturday (I believed I had poisoned him, must be punished) The dog got better he turned out have pancetisis by this time the psychosis was getting weird.

i hadn't eaten or drunk in the four days i prior to episode.
I kept believing, I was on breaking, sic fi movie and i kept staying really horrible gibberish rubbish. One minute loving every one, my family, friends and next minute wanting people dead, believing i am being tracked via my my mind, via the computers, paranoid of my dads phone going off and believing that the hospital was going to kill me if i i contradicted myself.

I also wouldn't go in the MRI scan as I was scared it was going to kill me and punched a nurse and kicked a doctor. it was a very horrible experience and i never want to repeat it again. Then i sort out remember sitting on a heavy chair and as soon as someone came in lifting it with me on so high and almost hitting the ceiling./light fittings.

I also rememeber screaming, shouting and yelling and having the biggest let all out at home and hospital.

when finally things reduced i was sent home (closed to being sectioned) and was asleep for three/four days completely out of it. Those days I don't remember as such but I do remember,my grandma saying "get over, pull yourself together, stop feeling sorry for yourself, it happened its the pas now" and bunch of very unhelpful crap

 

[undercoverlover]

im so sorry to hear this! Psychosis is very frightening. do you see a psychiatrist? medication can be helpful when it comes to paranoia, delusions, hallucinations, etc. medications like seroquel, abilify, latuda, etc are used to treat psychosis, but they can really mess with your blood sugar. if you have a therapist, it would be good yo bring it up with them as well
the only thing i can recommend in the meantime is to keep a journal of what's going on. the tumblr blog relatable-psychosis is a great resource and has links to different coping skills for psychosis, as well as general information
I hope things start looking better for you! hang in there

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

For me my mind betrays me longer I go without food

I kinda remember bits of my mind gone moments but it was months of accumlation for me. I was barely holding it together beforehand though. haven't had an espiode for over almost year and half

Now I know the warning signs

 

[memyselfand1]

Thank you so much for the advice, I have started a journal thread and now I am going to start writing in it more often. I have also found that my memory hasn't been that good the last couple of weeks, so I am using my iPhone and Macbook Air to help me out.

 

[memyselfand1]

Thankfully, I haven't had any more psychosis episodes however I am still getting mini flashbacks that keep bring me back the March episode. However I have no counsellor therapist and the only therapy I get is when I see a close friend (who's also counsellor) and i feel crap asking her when she's already got a lot on her mind with her son (with mental health problems) and dealing with her own private caseload of 50 service users.