The one thing females are out on Earth to do and it seems like I can't even do that, so how am I suppose to do anything else extraordinary in my life? Everyday.... I cry and scream in my mind so no one else knows... I go on Facebook and all I see are posts about it, pictures even.. I walk around town and that's all I see. Women waddling and rubbing their bellies. All that pops into my head is.. Why can't that be me? Why can't I have a baby? There it is.. That's my secret. My depression clings to it, loves it, feeds on it.. Everyone tells me "Oh it will happen when it's supposed to." Whatever! People that don't even deserve children get pregnant without even trying. People that already have a million kids get pregnant without trying. Why not me?! Sometimes when I'm with my fiancé and we're about to have intercourse, I'll just cry. I tell him nothing's wrong because i don't want him to be dragged down into my mood, but he knows.. We've talked about my problems with having troubles trying to conceive. He says it's him, I say it's me.. I know it's me. I've tried for years and it hasn't happened. I'm afraid to go to the doctor because I don't want to hear that I can't.. That will be the last nail in the coffin. This sucks.