ugh...why?

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gchicklet

Well-Known Member
#1
why do I freak out every time I have to email my therapist? I always feel like he's gonna ignore me or tell me I'm a loser and he's done with me. this is the second time I've emailed him, and this one is just to set up an appointment and I'm still freaking out. what the hell is wrong with me?
 

AnaNg

Antiquities Friend
#2
I don't know, but I think this is a common anxiety that a lot of folks have. I've had the same therapist for just over 5 years now and I absolutely and 100% trust him, feel at ease and comfortable talking to him about everything and anything, and I still freak out a little when I have to call/email/text him to set up an appointment or fill him in on something. I mean, seriously? After 5 years? And he's never given me any reason to freak out or feel anxiety? You'd think I'd not feel like that. I will say that it's gotten a little better now that he's in private practice and I don't have to call and jump through 90,000 hoops just to get a message to him, but I still get a little freaked out. Sometimes, like yesterday, I get a lot freaked out. For me, it's at the hardest when I'm in crisis and active suicidal ideation. It takes a LOT for me to call or text him and request an appointment. I wind up stewing about it most of the day and then finally get so miserable that I can't stand it and wind up either calling him or texting him OR I wind up half a heartbeat from attempting.

In short, there's nothing wrong with you. You've just got some anxiety about it. This might be something to discuss with your therapist when you see him next. If he's a good therapist and has a good track record of making you feel safe and okay to be vulnerable with him, then I can guarantee he's going to do his best to put your mind at ease. I've talked to my therapist about this a few times and it's helped lessen the anxiety. It's worth a shot. (((hugs)))

~Ana
 

gchicklet

Well-Known Member
#3
well I emailed him once cuz I was in crisis mode (which took a lot because I didn't want to be "that person" and all needy and clingy) so I had a reason to obsess about that one.

But this one was just too set up an appointment because when I had my last one there were some things still up in the air do we couldn't do it before I left like we usually do.

Blarg....
 

morning rush

Well-Known Member
#4
you're afraid to do something and cause him to not like you, to not accept and see you. I know because I was like that and I think I still am...

rejection is scary and I always feel it's something I did to cause it and therefor I'm a bad person, not worthy of anything good...that's how I feel...
 

AnaNg

Antiquities Friend
#5
I'll tell you what my therapist tells me when I worry aloud to him about not wanting to bother him or be needy or worry him, etc. He tells me that if things are that bad (i.e. crisis mode) that he knows that I need to talk and that talking helps me, so he is there for me to talk to about this stuff, that it's his job. I have a feeling your therapist probably didn't bat an eyelash when he got your email when you were in crisis. That's not to say that he wasn't concerned, but that he understands that when you are in crisis, you need extra care and that goes with the job description when you choose psychotherapy as a vocation.

Were you able to set up an appointment with him?

~Ana
 
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