So, Saturday I am attending yet another funeral. By now I've lost over 2/3 of my family to cancer over the last 10 years. This time it hasn't even hit home yet. I've not reacted really... and it's not that I don't care. I do! This was a really sweet old lady but as my therapist suggested it may be that she has been gone for a while... she had dementia the last years. She quickly went from bad to worse on that and yeah... she hasn't been 'her' for years now. I'm nervous about the funeral. I have my clothes laid out already... The main problem is that some years ago I stopped attending funerals. I couldn't handle it; and especially after I overheard a widow at her husband's funeral whisper to someone that she felt so sorry for me being so young attending so many funerals... I just agreed with myself it was kinder to stay away. But yeah, this time I'm going. I know you can't avoid death in your life... I've just had more than enough. And I feel guilty for even posting this.