Empathy and Advice Welcomed Uncommon Reality

[Oizys Moros]

Conflicting emotions are so confusing 🫤

After decades of wishing for unaliveness, it is good that I am kinda over that season.

However, it is a battle trying to figure out WHY. Do I even need to know why?

All I do is exist. I don’t live. I don’t even know if this is survival. It is just breathing 😮‍💨 for no apparent reason.

There was purpose when offspring had some dependence. But those days are long gone. Estranged relationships.

I no longer have a purpose in life. No motivation to strive for anything.

I don’t talk about being depressed because I don’t believe that I am.

I am just at a place of acceptance.

I accept that if I were to no longer breathe, loved ones would mourn for a short time. Then life would carry on as it should. No devastation from the loss of financial contributions.

I would want living expenses and responsibilities to be a smooth transition but other than that I don’t see how my not being here would impact my family.

I guess I consume my thoughts with how and what month. But only God knows.

 

[Aurelia]

Conflicting emotions are so confusing 🫤

After decades of wishing for unaliveness, it is good that I am kinda over that season.

However, it is a battle trying to figure out WHY. Do I even need to know why?

All I do is exist. I don’t live. I don’t even know if this is survival. It is just breathing 😮‍💨 for no apparent reason.

There was purpose when offspring had some dependence. But those days are long gone. Estranged relationships.

I no longer have a purpose in life. No motivation to strive for anything.

I don’t talk about being depressed because I don’t believe that I am.

I am just at a place of acceptance.

I accept that if I were to no longer breathe, loved ones would mourn for a short time. Then life would carry on as it should. No devastation from the loss of financial contributions.

I would want living expenses and responsibilities to be a smooth transition but other than that I don’t see how my not being here would impact my family.

I guess I consume my thoughts with how and what month. But only God knows.

You've mentioned God, so please trust Him to decide and do not lean on your own understanding, as the Bible tells us. This is the enemy telling you these things. Do not listen to evil.

 

[may71]

Estranged relationships

I'm sorry it's like that.

I no longer have a purpose in life.

If a lot of your identity and sense of purpose revolves around a particular role in your life that ends, making a transition can be difficult. I think in principle you could find a new purpose if you're seeking one.

You've made some very helpful posts here on SF, so maybe you could find your new purpose here

I accept that if I were to no longer breathe, loved ones would mourn for a short time. Then life would carry on as it should.

It's nice to be loved, but even better to be worthy of it. If you live a virtuous life and your loss is not mourned, it will simply be an error on the part of the living.

Sending hugs if you would like hugs