Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Viktor, Sep 8, 2014.

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  1. Viktor

    Viktor Well-Known Member

    When you are depressed, you mostly need some friends/family to be with you and to talk to, right? I already posted on this forum that when people are telling you that there are worse problems in the life than the one you are having, etc... it's only bad for you. I just wanna say here that non-understanding from your friends or families to your depression is not only bad but total disaster. It can be devastating for you. I am heavily depressed. Lonely and sad every day. Crying every day. And i hear all the time stuff like that there are worse problems in the world, like starving people in Africa, etc etc... And like, what is it good to me? Yes, their problems may be worse, but now what? Should i feel better because of it? Well i'm not. This bullsh*t just doesn't help at all. Just opposite, it will put you down even more. I know that everyone of you who are depressed understands this. But other people who are fine are so... foolish. So blind. Close-minded. Don't everybody see how people commits suicides every day because of depression? Famous rich people. Who would have thought, huh? They have so much money. They are financially secured. Yet they can be depressed. Why? Well, because they can. They have some problem in life that troubles them enormously. And what, other people comes to them and tell them sh*t like "why are you depressed, look at how much money you have, i have nothing and i'm not depressed" etc etc... Such bullsh*t are complete disaster. Stop that! It needs to stop. There should be school that educates about depression and it should be compulsory. Because of how people are ignorant, depressed people are so alone. This is so serious problem. Too bad it's not being taken too seriously. How many people must die till people opens their minds?
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Viktor :hug: I completely agree with you that it is a useless and upsetting response and that people need better educating about depression. Pain is pain - if you broke your arm it would not hurt less because the person beside you broke both their arms. Their pain is nothing to do with your pain. I understand your frustration and I am sorry that your family and friends struggle to understand. You are not alone - we are here - and we understand your pain :hug:
  3. snogo

    snogo Well-Known Member

    I share your feelings, Viktor. Such kind of tough love advice or whatever you call it frustrates me whenever I read about them or am at the receiving end of it. But as I continue to read and listen as widely as possible (both online and offline), I can somewhat understand (whenever my state of mind is more relaxed) why they think it is right for them to say those things to me

    Keep posting and share your feelings with us. We will be listening.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I've always agreed with the original post, but Freya's response really stood out to me as being accurate. I've never thought of putting it that way, but it makes sense.

    From what I've experienced and seen through others, telling someone who's feeling bad that others have it worse, is only going to cause that person to feel like what they're going through isn't important... which then causes them to feel worse than they did in the first place.
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I don't know why people act like that at all. My mom said something like, "People out there have it a lot worse than you, but they don't want to kill themselves". So I guess in her eyes, that makes them better or stronger than me, or something. Mostly people won't have a clue unless they go through it themselves. Even if they don't have an idea what it's like, at least they could try to be in someone else's shoes, to see things through their eyes, and be more sympathetic.
  6. Viktor

    Viktor Well-Known Member

    It's really awesome that you all understand what i'm saying. People really need to go through hard times to be able to understand, which is really sad. Because when you are going through hard time, you already need someone to understand you.

    And just wanted to say that i didn't speak just about myself. I talked about all people that are sad/depressed. I just talked about myself as an example :)
  7. shadowonthewall

    shadowonthewall Well-Known Member

    Everyone has their own perspective on what makes life worth living and people need to understand the natural diversity of human temperament, as well as having compassion (gleaned through education) for those who have legitimate psychiatric conditions. One person might be able to find the positive in any situation, but others are naturally pessimistic, and this doesn't necessarily even require that they have clinical depression. Cold comfort is little comfort at all, really. I do derive some consolation from knowing that there are those worse off than me, but I don't know many people personally who have a situation that I would judge to be bleaker than my own. Sometimes I think that I would be able to tolerate my life if I could share my burden with someone who is going through the same thing and make me aware that I'm not the only person in the world being faced with these challenges. However, the fact that I suffer from Avoidant Personality Disorder prevents me from forming these close, supportive relationships.
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