Unhappy

[TotallyLost]

Its my Birthday tomorrow Im sick of pretendin everything is ok Coz its not, I just wanna be outta here But I cant bear 2 leave my son behind and I know what losin me would do to him I did try pills from the doctor and talkin to sumone (physchotheprist ? ) my family made me, But I think they think Im ok now But I really am not I wish I could say out loud how I feel But I cant My life really couldn be worse even tho I have everything I need Guess I sound spoilt Just I get so down sumtimes Ive sat before n my bathroom n the dark with a razor to my wrists n just cryed I wanna be happy But I dont see how Everything is always black or a chore I wanna enjoy stuff But I just cant Does anyone feel this way ? Coz I feel so alone Also a Friend of mine hung himself last new year I had no idea I just wish he Had spoken 2 me Maybe we Could ave helped each other ??? Im so not good at this talkin stuff But Im hopin sum good will come out of this ??? Help me Plz

 

[~Claire]

Hey honey,

Welcome to SF. I can definitely say that here you're not alone in how you feel. I'm also sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.

You said that you were on medication & were seeing a therapist. Did you find them helpful & are you still continuing with treatment?

I hope that you'll find some support from us here.

Big hugs :hug:, Claire xx

P.S. :birthday: for tomorrow.

 

[TotallyLost]

No I didnt find either helpful, When I saw the doctor he said it might take 6-8 weeks to start workin ... I dumped the pills after a few days And the therapist worked I think a bit \but I didn expect my family 2 pay 70 pounds an hour every few days I neva saw her again Was proberly a massive mistake I find it really hard 2 talk n the thought of goin bk 2 her was horrible (My family made me go n the first place) I hated them 4 it, Guess they only want the best for me But They have no Idea how ive felt for the last I dunno 8 years Just so wanna be happy I crave 2 be happy But nuffin seems 2 make me happy Ive Lost my b/f ova this n thats why i really am Close 2 goin away foreva

 

[~Claire]

Yeah tablets do take about 6 weeks to kick in. Therapy can be a long process too & it isn't for everyone.

Would you consider going back to the doctor & trying the tablets again? I know it's hard, especially when you feel that nobody understands what you're going through. I'm sure your family done what they thought was in your best interests.

 

[TotallyLost]

No Id neva go bk 2 her, The doctors maybe I dunno He didn wanna give me em in the first place Think he thought I was lyin, So hard 2 admit 2 Plus I didn want them 2 take away my son, I thought I could do it on my own, I was wrong

 

[~Claire]

I don't know where you're from but in the UK many doctors have adopted a 'wait & see' approach, it's also called watchful waiting. I think (not 100%) what it means in a nutshell that they are reluctant to give out anti depressants for cases of mild depression or where there is no previous history of depression.

Obviously I don't know your history but it does sound like you're depressed. If you find it hard talking to your doctor then maybe it would be helpful for you to write it down?

:hug:

 

[TotallyLost]

Last doctor i saw was Loads younger than me, I didn wanna go anyway But he made me feel even worse Said 2 go bk after 2 weeks But I didn, I really thought I could sort it out myself But now I realise Its ruinin my life And have pretty much lost everything so Whats the point .... My son is only person keepin me alive No one undastands me I feel so so alone