Unsure about a lot of things


Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen
I was unsure of where exactly to post, since I am younger than middle age, but older than college age. So I fit right in the middle somewhere. Though it is true that I am just really starting out in my life. Got my first job, opened my first bank account. Finally able to earn my own money and to do things on my own. Being independent is kind of scary because I have relied on people for so long. It sounds stupid, but I am worried because things are going pretty well for once. I look forward to things and they fall apart. I am worried I will lose my job or screw up or end up on the street. Not likely to happen, but it still weighs on my mind. So how do you get rid of unfounded fears and just learn to enjoy life?
An exercise my therapist taught me.

Find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed for up to an hour.
Close your eyes and visualize a very strong vault.
Make sure you can see the details of the vault in your mind. How thick are the walls, the ceiling, the floor, the door, the hinges, the lock. include lock boxes, locking cages, shelves and anything else that will help visualize a strong vault.
Name the vault things you cannot control. See the name of the vault.

Now visualize the the first item that comes to mind of things you cannot control and put it in the vault.
Make sure you can see the uncontrollable thing in the vault. Put it in a lock box, cage or on a shelf inside the vault so you can see it.
Now repeat the process for each uncontrollable thing.
Visualize all of these things in the vault and close the vault door slowly. Lock door.

Typically I spend 30-40 minutes meditating to lock away 5-10 thoughts. This exercise can be very exhausting with the visualization exercise. But this exercise works. And it can be repeated as necessary. Your brain won't fill up with imaginary vaults. Just remember to take your time and visualize the process.

Now do the same thing for your unfounded fears and emotions.
Repeat the process as many times as needed.


Seeing is Believing
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
Am impressed with your steps you have taken. Opening bank account those days involve interrogation and fiddling around with your state issued IDS and its not good enough they require more documentation that you wonder if the banker is ready to kill you and take over your life and open more multiple accounts like that Wells Fargo... lol

Congratulations is in order!


Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen
Opening an account at this bank was fairly easy, but the employees were kind, so that helped. Thank you both for your input. I will be sure to try the vault exercise when I can.

Frances M

Mountain Woman
I'm glad you're on your way! It's hard to stop the thoughts that plague us, it's like a bad habit that needs to be broken. This sounds fairly simple, but it's hard to catch yourself...if you have a negative thought, turn it around to a positive. "I'm going to screw this job up."...turn that into "I'm not going to screw this job up because I'm good at it. What am I thinking? Everything is going to work out fine." You know, stuff like that. Negative thinking has such an impact, but so does positive thinking!


Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen
Yeah, I need to stop thinking of the worst for once. Just because that is what I usually experience, doesn't mean it will always be that way.


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
Well Mole, like you, kind of started life late; due to his agrophobia.
3 years on, he is settled in work and respected, has a social life and has become a fully independent adult.
He had all the fears you face, and guess what, nothing went wrong and nothing blew up in his face!
Admittedly he hasn't moved out yet, but I know he could handle that too. :D

Well done, you are on the first steps of your new life, ENJOY!!

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