Ok, no emotion thoughts involved here and what I think...sorry if comes across as a bit blunt and challenging but...
1) In your first post you said you didn't want to take time off work or have people question you. So that makes me think that you perhaps want to take an od, not to die but maybe to escape for a while. Hospital is easy, you don't have to think about anything. You can lie in bed all day and it's normal, you are looked after and you can also speak to someone if needs be.
2) You have joined a pro life site. You joined thinking you could perhaps get some advice and support. Which is another reason I think that really perhaps you don't want to die, it's that you don't want to live like this?
3) You have been screwing around with your meds so it's no wonder you are having a bad patch. Take your meds properly and let them do the job they are supposed to do.
I am probably wrong, and maybe just going on my own experiences when I have taken OD's not to die but to land in hospital not having to think, and knowing I am safe. I have taken them also in a proper attempt and someone has found me. :sigh: But what I am saying is you have something inside you, something tiny maybe that wants to hang on. Otherwise why join a site like this.
I hope you don't feel as though I am having a go but sometimes it needs someone to challenge what you are thinking to maybe put things in perspective. I am trying to be supportive but from a differnt way.
Go and see someone as soon as you can about the thoughts you are having. It's crucial you do that.
I know I don't know you and all I have to go on is about 6 lines of writing which is not much at all.
All the best anyway.
xxxxxx
