Very depressed and upset..

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ThoseEmptyWalls, Jul 25, 2008.

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  1. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Well..Today Im feeling depressed, sad, angry, and just generally upset with myself. I can barely function. I feel anxious yet calm..I feel angry, moody, and irratable. I find myself not wanting to play with the pets, talk to my husband, or deal with my son.. I take my weight every morning or every few mornings when things go well and theres a steady loss or steady stay the same. Well I gained weight, stayed the same, gained again. I have gained a bloody pound. Im a flucking cow..I swear when I look in the mirror thats what I see looking back at me, a big cow in my clothes. I see a ballon with a head, arms, and legs. Im sick of myself..I wish I could starve myself skinny (Im still way over 250 pounds).. I wish I could just cut the fat off with a sharp knife but I cant because Im afraid of the pain..I know if I starve I will put on weight once I start eating but a giant weight loss would make it seem worth it.. I just want to be smaller..Im sick of being a cow.....
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hey you can only do your best each day, in life in general, sure, but also with weight loss. you didn't gain weight in a day which means you can't take it off in a day. just do your best to eat well, drink water, and go for a quick walk. be kind to yourself and it will show up on the scales eventually. be proud at what you have accomplished so far!
     
  3. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I cant be proud of it when Im putting it right back on..Overnight I gained a pound, a whole pound in 24 hours.. I weighed myself three mornings in a row. The first I gained .2 of a pound, the second day I stayed the same, the third (this morning) I gaine a whole pound on top of that .2 :( I know its not period weight as I have already had my period this month..I just dont understand this at all...
     
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    everybody has daily fluctuations, don't worry about it. that's why at weight watchers you weigh in only once a week. if you weigh every day you start to freak out at every little bump in the scale, which leads to all or nothing thinking. if you figure you've blown it for the day when you first wake up... then it's hard to stay motivated for the rest of the day. you figure "what the hell, scale says i gained so might as well eat what i want." remember, every day can be a fresh start for you.

    i have gained and lost plenty over the years. overall, i am down 80 pounds from where i was 3 years ago. and how did i do it? one day at a time, and weighing in only once a week. the greatest one day gain i ever had was 5 pounds! it freaked me out but then it was gone again 48 hours later. that's when i learned to weigh in once a week, just like they advised.
     
  5. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I weigh myself more often because I read that studies show that severly obese people loose more when they weigh more often..Thats the only reason I do it. I understand that daily, monthly, ect flucuations are normal but I cant help be upset over it.
     
  6. neutral

    neutral Well-Known Member

    ThoseEmptyWalls, I'm not very good with the emotional view of things.

    Putting on a few pounds is not a big set back. In 24 hours peoples weight can change because their bodies are retaining water more. For instance, I could weigh 2 pounds more on a cold day than a hot day just because of me sweating.

    For females the monthly cycle can also cause temporary weight changes. (I cannot confirm this my self as I'm male).

    I'm not making excuses for you, I'm trying to say that over the long term you will get to your target weight (If its a healthy target).
     
  7. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Lets just say I need to loose like 140 pounds to be at a estimated healthy weight for my height....Thank you for the information and like I said, I know all that stuff. I know all about the daily flucuations in weight I just dont understand why I got one today... Im just upset over it because Im sooo far gone (meaning Im obese) and it makes me sad.
     
  8. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i know how frustrating this setback seems, but it's just that, a temporary setback. with love and support you *can* reach your goal weight, but like i said just one day at a time. it's really great that you want to reach a healthier weight for you and i hope you can stop being mad at yourself for a few minutes and give your self a congratulatory pat on the back for doing your best. i'm sending you a cheerleading hug 'cos i think it's great you are trying to be healthier. time for a fresh start!!!
     
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    ps you are not so far gone. you are just where you are meant to be right now... (how's that for a little buddhist wisdom...)
     
  10. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    lol..Thanks.. I was reading about fasting and wonder if I should give a short term fast a try..:unsure:
     
  11. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I just wanted to let everyone know that Im feeling better today. I managed to take most of that pound off with some hard work around the house.. Thanks to everyone whos been there for me thru my silly crisis..
     
  12. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hey that's great news. congratulations! i am glad you are feeling a bit better today.
     
  13. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Thanks Dazzle :) Im still in a blah mood but feeling better about the weight thing.
     
  14. neutral

    neutral Well-Known Member

    Its good to hear your back on track :smile:
     
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