Walking around and trying to stop pressing the self-destruction button.

[Unknown_111]

This site has been my saviour last year and for that I am grateful. I am so determined to keep the promise I made in order to show how remorseful I am and to show others you can come through a crisis whatever your circumstances. A long way to go but I am very determined to do it.

 

[W Miller]

I haven't been this deeply touched by something I've read like this in a long long while...

I just need to say to you, that, this was something I really needed to read right now as I often times feel the situation I'm in is/was caused by things I've done in my past that I'm not so proud of, and I'm paying the price (so to speak).

Just a huge thank you for posting this, it really gave me hope, and I hope others can find some peace from it, as well.

Sorry, maybe just a simple thank you would have sufficed.

 

[Unknown_111]

I cannot stop crying for the hurt I caused to the third-party but I'm punishing myself by trying to keep a promise as it's the only way I can redeem myself. It's not nice but a price one must pay in order to show any remorse and self-respect I need to gain back. There are demons you must fight in order to show the remorse you feel. It's the only way for me to feel the pain I caused and profusely apologize for. I'm.driven by my determination to do it. People might laugh at me but it's the courage you show today makes you a better person. Also the supporting of folks here shows you can overcome any situation.

 

[WildCherry]

Hope you're OK, Incrisis99. :hug: Just want you to know I care.

 

[Petal]

Hope you are okay my dear friend :hug:

 

[Unknown_111]

Thank you for you kind words. I'm so down today as I thought about taking my life today but the promise is the only thing that keeps me going. It's not nice when one thing really matters in order to keep to you alive. I'm so determined to this as nothing else matters. I'm so scared at the moment...

 

[Unknown_111]

I'm so scared today, the most pain I have endured. I cry and cry sorry of tears. Words cannot express how I feel. I trying hard very day to keep the promise. I cried so much today that I needed the helpline again. I determined to battle on. Suffering the mental anguish and feeling the hurt I caused.

 

[Unknown_111]

I cannot believe I'm posting again. Today is worst day of my life. I cried so much that I cannot see my surviving the year but some how I will. I sat and cried and cried....

 

[Petal]

I cannot believe I'm posting again. Today is worst day of my life. I cried so much that I cannot see my surviving the year but some how I will. I sat and cried and cried....

You are correct you definitely will survive this crisis and year. Keep talking you're a great person sf would not be the same without you :hug:

 

[W Miller]

I'm sorry for your pain. Please keep this promise - you've helped me (personally) more than you realize (I read your replies to my thread ever day several times), and you help so many others here. WE will be forgiven for our good deeds, I have to believe this, I just have to.

 

[Unknown_111]

I really cried yesterday so much that I wanted to take my life. I cannot take the pain in my head that causes me to continue to do this promise. Life is so hard as I still cling to the mountain of life by a finger for another day. People will laugh at me but you have to do things to save your life.

 

[Unknown_111]

I cried all day but I'm gutless to end my life. The mental strain of completing the promise is taking its toll. I want to complete this promise otherwise it will only end in darkness. There is a purpose in living and I'm so determined. You folk give me inspiration that you drive me to find the inner strength to complete this promise. I cannot thank you enough but please remember we here together to support each other.

 

[Unknown_111]

Today, I'm crying and crying. I cannot see any purpose in living. The only purpose is the the promise. It's making me so mentally down today. Its going to take me ages to do this but Im trying my best. I'm going through the works.today. I still each day trying to do this promise.

 

[Unknown_111]

I'm so down today, I'm crying so much that I could end my life today but I'm still find the strength to live life today.

 

[MisterBGone]

Hey man, keep on keepin' on! I think you're great... A true spirit and a force around these parts--you do so much good for others; your heart is clearly gold! I think that perhaps in order to help correct some of the difficulties with the issues you've been facing, you might want to seriously consider some form of therapy: such as cognitive behavioral. I understand that you don't think it's of the most benefit to you and your affliction. However, trying to constantly analyze ourselves has within it a fundamental flaw of basing everything on one perspective. And a very biased and subjective one at that. Anyway, I may be completely wrong about how it would turn out, all I'm saying is that you truly don't know until you try. I know that it has helped me tremendously in the past. I used to go once a month. Some go once a week. But in any case, these people dedicate their lives to helping us get to the bottom of our insecurities, and past life traumas. Regardless of what you decide, I hope that you find a healthy, positive way to reduce the suffering, once and for all. Good luck, buddy!

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

:hug: do you have a professional you can vent to?

 

[Unknown_111]

I'm seeking professional help but I'm crashing on the hour. The hurt I feel is excruciating and I continue to some how find the will to pursue life even though the odds are stacked against me. I keep falling back down on this mountain of life by ten fold but I strive to still grasp life my by a single hand. All I see is the black web of depression trying to drag but you must battle on and beat it. It's the only choice you have in life. I broken down twice today with tears of hurt but I'm managed to compose myself some how and carried on through the day. Don't know how but we must hold a glimmer of hood as that's what life is all about. Humanity is about being compassionate to each other and helping in time of need. We must be strong and fight to live each day whatever is happening in the world.

Yes, wars will go gone everywhere but each member of forum is have their own battle of life to deal with and we must be strong to support each other when required. Still to this day I would not still be here but because this forum. So folks be strong for each other now and everyday. Thank you for reading this post and I hope it helps you. Please be safe and take care. X

 

[WildCherry]

:hug: I know you're going through a lot, just want you to know I care.

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

Even through your pain, you still manage to find strength to help others. That is admirable.

:hug:

 

[Unknown_111]

Thank you for kind words but the promise I'm trying to do is destroying me mentally and physically. People might laugh but I am spurned on to complete just for my own sanity. It's sounds insane but people should realise when words are said and it can have a massive impact on another's life. in life, it's about sharing compassion and kindness to each other. That's why I try to show compassion here to others so they realise life is important and as especially in their hour of need. When we reach are lowest point in life, we cry out for help and others do not listen. I try to think there are a few good Samaritans on this forum and that's why I give back so much to this forum. I am not going to get religious on this Friday but trying reiterate being kind to someone goes along way especially on this forum.