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Walking around and trying to stop pressing the self-destruction button.
- Thread starter Unknown_111
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Petal, thank you. Yesterday was the worst day of my life. I nearly came close to do something stupid. I tried everything to directly contact the third - party but it was a COMPLETE FAILURE. I driven to live for each day and let others know that LIFE IS IMPORTANT WHATEVER CRISIS YOU ARE IN. I CHOOSE LIFE NOW but was every close.
You folk are my witnesses in that I have tried every type of direct communication to the third-party but complete failure in all communication. I choose LIFE today as I have been confined to the black hole of hell. Please keep the faith as LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND NOT THE FINAL COMMITTMENT. I want you folk to stand as my witnesses that I have been through hell for the past twenty two months. Keep reading as LIFE IS ABOUT GIVING OTHERS A HELPING HAND THROUGH THEIR TIME OF CRISIS AND NOT TAKING REVENGE ON OTHERS. SIMPLY SHOWING COMPASSION AND KINDNESS TO OTHERS IS IMPORTANT IN LIFE. KEEP READING MY POSTS AS I CONTINUE MY JOURNEY OF RECOVERY. SIMPLES, IF I CAN DO IT, THEN YOU CAN. ALL OUR STRUGGLES WE FACE IN WORLD CAN BE OVERCOMED BY SUPPORTING EACH OTHER. TAKE THIS VIRTUAL HAND I OFFER AND LET ME FEEL YOUR PAIN AND GUIDE YOU INTO THE LIGHT.
I helped a homeless person by buying them breakfast. He blessed me but I told him I could not see him without food. He appreciated and wanted me have a nice day. I broke down inside and cried tears of hurt for the third - party. I hope the third - party reads this and realises I do care for the hurt I caused. I still choose life everyday but I have said on many occasions I so sorry for the hurt I caused. I cry and cry but I am still here hanging on to this mountain called life.
I broke down today as the past twenty-two months were meaningless. I cry as I write this knowing I suffered a lot mentally and physically pain. The tears of hurt caused still roll down my heart. I set a new apology and it will be done. A lot of people think I'm heartless and deserve the anguish I suffer. I will continue to suffer but I live for each day. I helped a homeless person and he appreciated the help. Again I am at a train station BUT today I choose LIFE. Others might laugh at me but the pain I endure now is for everyone on this site. I want to burden you pain and let you know how much I care for what you folk are going through. Please CHOOSE LIFE as that's more important than the final commitment. Stand up and support each other in our crisis. Thank you for reading and take care. X
I met a kind lady who was going through a tough period of her life. I told her to seek medical help and I would help as much as I can. She was grateful that someone understood her pain. I told her to stick to a daily routine and appreciate the simple things in life. The lady appreciated the advice and will let me help her in a supporting role only.
I met the young homeless lady on the street and I gave her my last few dollar coins and she appreciated it. I told her not to worry as the confidence on her face was brilliant. She was struggling but the daily support and encouragement gives her hope in the day to day recovery. The other lady from the previous day was grateful for someone to listen to her. I told her to use an elastic band rather resorting to eating or smoking. I told her to maintain a timetable and focus on a day by day basis. She appreciated the support and I said she was no longer alone. The only people who understand are the ones who a have suffered and understand the pain. She is seeking medical advice today in her and she really appreciated it. I hope it's the start of recovery process.
I helped someone with their
finance and they were grateful. They explained to me how they were really low and we're so grateful for my help. I was relieved that I helped someone and that gave the some hope for the future. I still down at the moment as cried tears of sadness. It will be along time for my sorrow to end.
Tonight I went to the local town and saw a young girl lost for ages trying to find her way to her boyfriend's crib. Like a good human being I helped her by driving her to the address in another town.I did offer her $20 dollars to catch a yellow taxi for her safety. She was grateful but her boyfriend was half dressed and sleepy shook my hand. I told her to phone her mother as soon as possible as she would be worried. She said thank you and at least I did the decent thing to make sure she was safe.
I cried on the way back from town about the hurt I caused. I try to be a decent human being. I will help anyone in trouble.
finance and they were grateful. They explained to me how they were really low and we're so grateful for my help. I was relieved that I helped someone and that gave the some hope for the future. I still down at the moment as cried tears of sadness. It will be along time for my sorrow to end.
Tonight I went to the local town and saw a young girl lost for ages trying to find her way to her boyfriend's crib. Like a good human being I helped her by driving her to the address in another town.I did offer her $20 dollars to catch a yellow taxi for her safety. She was grateful but her boyfriend was half dressed and sleepy shook my hand. I told her to phone her mother as soon as possible as she would be worried. She said thank you and at least I did the decent thing to make sure she was safe.
I cried on the way back from town about the hurt I caused. I try to be a decent human being. I will help anyone in trouble.
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I hope my apology was accepted of last week. I cling on to life by my these two fingers. Others no doubt laugh at my misery but sometimes you to dig deep and find the strength to live another day. I cry a lot but the journey I take now with you folk will be a great legacy for this site. Take the courage to keep reading my posts as the right to live is more important than doing the last final commitment. You folk are my strength and let me be your inspiration to live your life.
Morning, I have had a dramatic two days where the girl I'm helping has found a bed but still needs financial support. With my help, she is so happy and determined to make good this time. She gets horrible lewd statements from men which is totally wrong. Last night, I gave her $9.00 dollars and was happy. I told her slow progress day by day and she continues to improve.
The kind old man and dog needed help yesterday as he had not enough money for his electric meter and was reading his novels by street lamp. He was desperate for some towels to wash himself and not hand towels. I went to a nice gentlemen and explained the plight of friend. The kind hearted man was generous and let me have three towels for $8 dollars. I could not find my friend today but will give them to him later. I thanked the man who let me buy the towels for $8 dollars and told him that I would owe him a favour for his act of kindness. It's great when a stranger helps another person.
Later on I am going to help another person's plight and hopefully improve their state of health.
The kind old man and dog needed help yesterday as he had not enough money for his electric meter and was reading his novels by street lamp. He was desperate for some towels to wash himself and not hand towels. I went to a nice gentlemen and explained the plight of friend. The kind hearted man was generous and let me have three towels for $8 dollars. I could not find my friend today but will give them to him later. I thanked the man who let me buy the towels for $8 dollars and told him that I would owe him a favour for his act of kindness. It's great when a stranger helps another person.
Later on I am going to help another person's plight and hopefully improve their state of health.
From last Saturday, I took a big risk and helped someone with their financial plight. I could not see a kind lady to go the street with her young daughter. I took my savings of $900 dollars and gave it to her with the trust that I would get it back in the near future. I told her that I could not see her homeless and that they money would be better used helping someone to have a better life. Yes, I know the money might not be paid back by this person but what is good is giving if you can improve someone's life. I later got a message of thanks but it hurts to so much that I broke down crying for the hurt I felt I caused to the third party. I cried all night Saturday and in the morning.
On Sunday, I suffered a major injury to the mammoth task I undertake. I hurt myself severely and again another set back. I determined to live life even though this injury is hurting me a lot. Yesterday, I met the young girl who I am helping and she told me that needed $12 dollars for two nights accommodation. I gave her my last $10 dollars to ensure that she slept safely. Slowly this person is improving and the confidence she beems means that I am doing so good in my life. I still cry for the hurt I caused but I will never be forgiven for that. I walk everyday passing through people's lives helping others like a ghost. I go through the door of life of one person, help them to the best of my ability and the walk out making a difference. I feel like a "soul-less" ghost who cares to make difference. Life is about making a difference to others and helping humanity who try to live in this modern self-prentious world. I am here on this site to make a difference whilst I walk on this earth as "soul-less" ghost.
Like, ever remember what plight you are suffering in the world, read these words to help YOU in your own struggle.
Together, we can beat the darkness we face and see the light. Mark my words, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP UPON LIFE BUT MAKE DIFFERENCE TO SOMEONE'S LIFE. IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW LITTLE BUT IT ALL COUNTS.... BE SAFE PLEASE AND TAKE CARE.
On Sunday, I suffered a major injury to the mammoth task I undertake. I hurt myself severely and again another set back. I determined to live life even though this injury is hurting me a lot. Yesterday, I met the young girl who I am helping and she told me that needed $12 dollars for two nights accommodation. I gave her my last $10 dollars to ensure that she slept safely. Slowly this person is improving and the confidence she beems means that I am doing so good in my life. I still cry for the hurt I caused but I will never be forgiven for that. I walk everyday passing through people's lives helping others like a ghost. I go through the door of life of one person, help them to the best of my ability and the walk out making a difference. I feel like a "soul-less" ghost who cares to make difference. Life is about making a difference to others and helping humanity who try to live in this modern self-prentious world. I am here on this site to make a difference whilst I walk on this earth as "soul-less" ghost.
Like, ever remember what plight you are suffering in the world, read these words to help YOU in your own struggle.
Together, we can beat the darkness we face and see the light. Mark my words, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP UPON LIFE BUT MAKE DIFFERENCE TO SOMEONE'S LIFE. IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW LITTLE BUT IT ALL COUNTS.... BE SAFE PLEASE AND TAKE CARE.
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Yesterday I meant to post this. I met the homeless who last year wanted me to take him to the beach so he could taste the freshness of the sea. He hugged me and thanked me for the help he had from last year. The smile on his face said it all as he lives in a hostel. I still promised to take him to the beach one day. I told him I help him anytime. I meet the young girl I was helping and she still down but smiling. Two locals cops walked by but she cursed me as I brought attention to her. I apologised to her for any awkward situation caused. I cried last night as I continued this impossible goal I set in order to apologise to the third - party. I cry inside tears of hurt I caused but I am still here. I helped a lot of people but expect nothing in return. It's about helping those who need it and putting your own news before others.
Currently being bullied and my confidence has been undermined again. I decided to stay strong as life is important. I shed tears when person specifically targets you for no reason. Again my confidence has been undermined. Simple statements are harsh and the pleasure this person gets is not right. I fight to live another day but still I side I collapsed but again. Life is about being kind to each human rather causing undue stress. This person should realise that such statements can have profound effects on one person's life and make someone take their own life in a instance. I might be in pieces but I am determined to live another day. It was a nearly a year ago this person said harsh words.
The harsh words upset me today but I calmed down. Life is about helping people and not upsetting others. This person thinks it's funny upsetting people and not realising the upset he caused me. This person needs to learn harsh statements can leave a lasting effect on oneself. Like on many occasions no one came to my defence and I was left to rebuild my confidence by myself. This now becomes a daily task for me to do. I'm fine but I will never forget how I was stripped of my own dignity like on numerous occasions.
Today, I felt a lot better as I met the young chap who cried on my shoulders last time. He really appreciated me. He told me he had a breakdown and was homeless again because his crib was flea infested. He's rebuilding his life. He gave me a reason to live today. As a gesture of goodwill I gave him $40 dollars to help to get food and any essentials. Like I say time after time, life is about learning from your mistakes and helping others.
Today, someone kindly offered me help from the harsh words. I declined but thanked the person for kind offer of help. I told this person that life is about helping and not holding grudges. Holding on to grudges causes you more internal anguish. I really appreciated that someone actually acknowledged the harsh words I suffered yesterday. It meant a lot and helped me get through the week. I hope when the third party realises that I suffer everyday but I survive. Life is about being kind to a fellow being and nothing more. I cried internally and show no emotion like a ghost. I know people will not take pity on me and yes I understand that. We all experience things in life but we strive forward to become a better human being. As each day goes on I become stronger mentally and physically. I am determined to live life and make others realise that as well. The battle continues each day but together we can survive. Read these words and believe me that if I can survive so an YOU. Thank you reading this and take heart I feel the pain you endure.
You are such an amazing person and amazing friend. You are completely right, we are all travelling through time together and we should be kind to each other. I hope today hasn't been too bad for you. You are a GREAT friend!! I deleted your text the other day by accident but I did get to read it, thanks a million!!