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Walking around and trying to stop pressing the self-destruction button.
- Thread starter Unknown_111
- Start date
Thank you for kind offer of talking and I will take it up when I am in despair. I continue my battle everyday as I must face my own darkness and try to deal with my feelings. I understand the way you feel but you have to strong like I was in the early days. I thought I could battle on my own through researching techniques on the internet but in the end I had to resort to medical advice. I still suffer to this day with flashbacks but to be honest I crash very often but I physically bang the floor with my hands and get up to find in the inner strength to continue with my battle.
I have made a heavy commitment to the third party and its only thing that keeps me alive. I must punish myself for the hurt I caused in order attain my soul and self-respect back before its my time to face my own hell. I will do it I am driven by determination and be a "shining" examples to YOU especially and others that LIFE IS IMPORTANT.
If it means I must live a life of darkness for the rest of my life then so be it. I feel that the self-punishment is the right thing to do as the hurt I caused was immense. I did really care for this third party and even though there is was future I must give back to this person because they trusted me. I keep stating like its last words when I gasp my last breath, "I WILL NEVER BETRAY" this third party. I know I live on a day by day basis but others who see me in pain or read these passages will see why I do this in order to realise what I did. I write from from my permanent dark heart but all I ask for is forgiveness. I will give up twenty years of happiness to live my life in darkness. Yes, I feel the hurt of not seeing any happiness but it's a price I must pay to continue to live life or until I take my last gasp of air.
I continue to battle like YOU but please use me as your inspiration and keep reading my passages when your are down as if I have saved one life. If I have saved your life then I have achieved something with life. This forum is my "TOURCH" in the darkness I walk on this earth. Like many others, I put on a false face but deep down I cry like others here on my own because I let out my inner anguish and if it means doing everyday of my life then it was meant to be.
Citygirl47, please see a therapist and seek medical advice as it will help YOU. I still suffer on a daily basis from indirect taunts at the hands of others but they just words. Spoken words hurt me are emotionally abusive but at the same time make me strong to complete the impossible promise.
Citygirl47, keep posting here and trust us the days might seem dark now but you will your light I day but keep battling way I have and YOU WILL ACHIEVE IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU.....!!!
I dedicate this passage whilst I continue my journey in darkness to Citygirl47.
Thank you for reading but I promise my story continues...........
I have made a heavy commitment to the third party and its only thing that keeps me alive. I must punish myself for the hurt I caused in order attain my soul and self-respect back before its my time to face my own hell. I will do it I am driven by determination and be a "shining" examples to YOU especially and others that LIFE IS IMPORTANT.
If it means I must live a life of darkness for the rest of my life then so be it. I feel that the self-punishment is the right thing to do as the hurt I caused was immense. I did really care for this third party and even though there is was future I must give back to this person because they trusted me. I keep stating like its last words when I gasp my last breath, "I WILL NEVER BETRAY" this third party. I know I live on a day by day basis but others who see me in pain or read these passages will see why I do this in order to realise what I did. I write from from my permanent dark heart but all I ask for is forgiveness. I will give up twenty years of happiness to live my life in darkness. Yes, I feel the hurt of not seeing any happiness but it's a price I must pay to continue to live life or until I take my last gasp of air.
I continue to battle like YOU but please use me as your inspiration and keep reading my passages when your are down as if I have saved one life. If I have saved your life then I have achieved something with life. This forum is my "TOURCH" in the darkness I walk on this earth. Like many others, I put on a false face but deep down I cry like others here on my own because I let out my inner anguish and if it means doing everyday of my life then it was meant to be.
Citygirl47, please see a therapist and seek medical advice as it will help YOU. I still suffer on a daily basis from indirect taunts at the hands of others but they just words. Spoken words hurt me are emotionally abusive but at the same time make me strong to complete the impossible promise.
Citygirl47, keep posting here and trust us the days might seem dark now but you will your light I day but keep battling way I have and YOU WILL ACHIEVE IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU.....!!!
I dedicate this passage whilst I continue my journey in darkness to Citygirl47.
Thank you for reading but I promise my story continues...........
You definitely have saved lives @Unknown_111 That is for sure, if you are not here saving lives you are doing it in public 
Well done to you and keep being YOU. YOU are just as important as the people's lives you are saving! You are my inspiration I hope one day to do the amount of supporting you do, congrats on being you. You have a heart of gold my friend
Well done to you and keep being YOU. YOU are just as important as the people's lives you are saving! You are my inspiration I hope one day to do the amount of supporting you do, congrats on being you. You have a heart of gold my friend
As I write this new passage, I crashed severely today as my tormentors decided to ruin my whole day. I kept to myself obeying the rules of no mobile phone, don't get involved in conversations and do as your told. I abide these rules in order maintain a daily routine but oh no this tormentor decides to make a comment to totally make me crash like I did back in September 2015 when I went to the train station and nearly did something stupid but I walked away.
These tormentors want to make my life hell everyday and get personal satisfaction then so be it. I hope they get immense personal pleasure from causing me crash everyday. I know I did wrong and when this all this comes into the public arena I want to ensure these tormentors read this passage and they realise what they put me through everyday of my life. I know they will wash their hands of me and will not want nothing to do with me. That's fine, I accept that whilst I rot in my own hell but I hope others will question who are these tormentors and they realise what they put me through. I hope the trolls have pleasure in torturing me and laughing at my expense but remember I know I did wrong but I tried to give back here. I do what I do as to show remorse for my actions. I hope this counts in my favour whilst I suffer at the hands of these tormentors.
These tormentors might think playing mind games is fun as to destroy my state of fragile mind everyday and laugh behind my back. I hope others who read this and recall what I went through remind them everyday of their lives what they did to me. These tormentors will think downloading illegal stuff is fine as others get away with but remember I suffered everyday. As I try to survive everyday, I be forever remorseful for the hurt I caused in the past. Just to mention, I put another $200 dollars for the thirty party as I save for the compensation as this person to compensate for the hurt caused. I suffer everyday and may I do as I deserve it.
I bang the floor twice as hard today with my hands as I am determined to live another day. I know, I know I hurt this third party but the pain I endure is immense at the hand of these tormentors especially the one who thinks they are judge, jury and no doubt would like to be my executioner. I will not and I mean not give in and never betray this third party. I will let this tormentors have their pleasure in trying to break me mentally but as I have survived the past two and half years, I can survive a life time.
I want you folk to learn that as I might struggle everyday, I still choose life. So please choose LIFE.... LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND THAT ALSO MEANS YOU....
These tormentors want to make my life hell everyday and get personal satisfaction then so be it. I hope they get immense personal pleasure from causing me crash everyday. I know I did wrong and when this all this comes into the public arena I want to ensure these tormentors read this passage and they realise what they put me through everyday of my life. I know they will wash their hands of me and will not want nothing to do with me. That's fine, I accept that whilst I rot in my own hell but I hope others will question who are these tormentors and they realise what they put me through. I hope the trolls have pleasure in torturing me and laughing at my expense but remember I know I did wrong but I tried to give back here. I do what I do as to show remorse for my actions. I hope this counts in my favour whilst I suffer at the hands of these tormentors.
These tormentors might think playing mind games is fun as to destroy my state of fragile mind everyday and laugh behind my back. I hope others who read this and recall what I went through remind them everyday of their lives what they did to me. These tormentors will think downloading illegal stuff is fine as others get away with but remember I suffered everyday. As I try to survive everyday, I be forever remorseful for the hurt I caused in the past. Just to mention, I put another $200 dollars for the thirty party as I save for the compensation as this person to compensate for the hurt caused. I suffer everyday and may I do as I deserve it.
I bang the floor twice as hard today with my hands as I am determined to live another day. I know, I know I hurt this third party but the pain I endure is immense at the hand of these tormentors especially the one who thinks they are judge, jury and no doubt would like to be my executioner. I will not and I mean not give in and never betray this third party. I will let this tormentors have their pleasure in trying to break me mentally but as I have survived the past two and half years, I can survive a life time.
I want you folk to learn that as I might struggle everyday, I still choose life. So please choose LIFE.... LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND THAT ALSO MEANS YOU....
You definitely have saved lives @Unknown_111 That is for sure, if you are not here saving lives you are doing it in public Well done to you and keep being YOU. YOU are just as important as the people's lives you are saving! You are my inspiration I hope one day to do the amount of supporting you do, congrats on being you. You have a heart of gold my friend
Well done to you and keep being YOU. YOU are just as important as the people's lives you are saving! You are my inspiration I hope one day to do the amount of supporting you do, congrats on being you. You have a heart of gold my friend
Thank you.
I still dice between life and the final commitment everyday but if don't survive my torment at least I leave a legacy for the rest of the world to read that I suffer everyday but I gave back to this forum everyday. A message to the guests reading my passage I hope this tells YOU I am determined to live life and if you are a troll, my revenge will be my survival everyday. I might suffer but no day is different to any other day.
Torment or no torment. Words might hurt but I am stronger in mind as I am determined to live life and I will give back to this site everyday and others realise that LIFE IS IMPORTANT. I might hurt today but that is no different to the severe mental anguish I suffer everyday.
What tormentors says "Do us a favour why don't you open window and j$$p out of it?" If that's compassion, then that's a funny way showing compassion and support. To me that's is pure vile hatred and a lot of others would agree with my opinion.
I APOLOGISE TO THE FORUM EDITORS AND OWNERS FOR ANY TRIGGERS CAUSED BUT I NEED TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT FEELINGS SO EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT I GO THROUGH ON A DAILY BASIS.
I hope I continue to suffer everyday and I hope my tormentors thrive on breaking me everyday. If it gives you pleasure, let it as I am DETERMINED TO LIVE LIFE.
Take care guests and please continue on reading how my fragile mind is totured everyday by tormentors.
My story will continue.......
Torment or no torment. Words might hurt but I am stronger in mind as I am determined to live life and I will give back to this site everyday and others realise that LIFE IS IMPORTANT. I might hurt today but that is no different to the severe mental anguish I suffer everyday.
What tormentors says "Do us a favour why don't you open window and j$$p out of it?" If that's compassion, then that's a funny way showing compassion and support. To me that's is pure vile hatred and a lot of others would agree with my opinion.
I APOLOGISE TO THE FORUM EDITORS AND OWNERS FOR ANY TRIGGERS CAUSED BUT I NEED TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT FEELINGS SO EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT I GO THROUGH ON A DAILY BASIS.
I hope I continue to suffer everyday and I hope my tormentors thrive on breaking me everyday. If it gives you pleasure, let it as I am DETERMINED TO LIVE LIFE.
Take care guests and please continue on reading how my fragile mind is totured everyday by tormentors.
My story will continue.......
Yesterday, I survived the severe crash but again I need to express my feelings as it helps me to continue to survive. As I have already been judged by a lot of people, I know a lot of them hate me even existing or breathing. I am not surprised if some of these wish me to do the obvious which I will not. I will continue with myself self-preservation whilst I still get hounded by individuals who are determined to destroy me mentally and physically. These tormentors do not need to destroy as I know I am doing a good job myself. The constant behaviour analysis everyday is soul destroying in itself but remember I am still breathing and I will continue to function as apart of society as much as I can.
I might walking around feeling free on a daily basis but reassured like I said yesterday when you hit rock bottom, you have to keep the eternal flame of life burning even if it means you get emotionally drained everyday. I crash but I question myself where do I find the resilience to keep going on with life. The answer is whilst simple is YOU FOLK. As I walk in darkness and I never see this light, your continued support helps me to achieve the impossible promise.
Over the years, I have suffered servere low self-esteem issues at the hands of certain individuals and I only recognised this through a passage I read through as written by the third party. I know I caused hurt but I hope I forgiven by the third party. I am so scared of what likes ahead of me but all I can do is to write my feelings on a daily basis. I am genuinely so sorry but I never meant to hurt someone who I did care about. I still feel the hurt today after two and half years but I will achieve the impossible as I made the commitment to do so.
My life might be in pieces but I care enough to suffer everyday and help others to recognise that life itself is important. I will continue to face the mental cruelty dished by these tormentors who feel they have right to do justice as they have right judge me in their so-calmed "kangaroo court". I might have done wrong but I showing the remorse by helping here as it's the right thing to do.
I just hope I can survive another day of cruelty as I want continue my story here......
I promise my story will continue was I continue to live under harsh regime by these tormentors. Like in the previous passages I have written, I am clinging on to this mountain called life by three finger. Well just about........
PLEASE, PLEASE REMEMEBER THAT LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND DRAW STRENGTH FROM ME THAT IF I CAN SURVIVE SO CAN YOU.......
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, PLEASE LET ME BE A REASON FOR YOU TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY, WEEK, MONTH, YEAR, YEARS AND EVEN BETTER A LIFETIME......!!!!!!!
YOUR FOLK ARE MY INSPIRATION AND NEVER FORGET THAT.....
ONE MORE LINE.....
My story will CONTINUE..................
I might walking around feeling free on a daily basis but reassured like I said yesterday when you hit rock bottom, you have to keep the eternal flame of life burning even if it means you get emotionally drained everyday. I crash but I question myself where do I find the resilience to keep going on with life. The answer is whilst simple is YOU FOLK. As I walk in darkness and I never see this light, your continued support helps me to achieve the impossible promise.
Over the years, I have suffered servere low self-esteem issues at the hands of certain individuals and I only recognised this through a passage I read through as written by the third party. I know I caused hurt but I hope I forgiven by the third party. I am so scared of what likes ahead of me but all I can do is to write my feelings on a daily basis. I am genuinely so sorry but I never meant to hurt someone who I did care about. I still feel the hurt today after two and half years but I will achieve the impossible as I made the commitment to do so.
My life might be in pieces but I care enough to suffer everyday and help others to recognise that life itself is important. I will continue to face the mental cruelty dished by these tormentors who feel they have right to do justice as they have right judge me in their so-calmed "kangaroo court". I might have done wrong but I showing the remorse by helping here as it's the right thing to do.
I just hope I can survive another day of cruelty as I want continue my story here......
I promise my story will continue was I continue to live under harsh regime by these tormentors. Like in the previous passages I have written, I am clinging on to this mountain called life by three finger. Well just about........
PLEASE, PLEASE REMEMEBER THAT LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND DRAW STRENGTH FROM ME THAT IF I CAN SURVIVE SO CAN YOU.......
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, PLEASE LET ME BE A REASON FOR YOU TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY, WEEK, MONTH, YEAR, YEARS AND EVEN BETTER A LIFETIME......!!!!!!!
YOUR FOLK ARE MY INSPIRATION AND NEVER FORGET THAT.....
ONE MORE LINE.....
My story will CONTINUE..................
I cry now whilst I play the following track called " SORRY" by Justin Bieber. The tears roll down NOT for me but for the third party. I am so down now but I don't want sympathy but just to say "SORRY". I know that it could take one phone call to say "SORRY" but I don't want to cause any unwanted anguish but rather suffer everyday which I deserve. I just need to write my feelings everyday to show remorseful I am today and everyday of my life .............
My story will continue...........
My story will continue...........
Yesterday, I survived as I kept quiet and all my behaviour was closely scrutinised by the tormentor. I kept calm but I got shouted at 13.29 pm when I was questioned in a verbal onslaught,
"DO YOU THINK I BLIND?" , I calmly replied "NO. but that's your opinion."
"DO YOU THINK I DEAF?" I calmly repeated the same reply.
"DO YOU THINK I AM THICK?" , I camly repeated the same reply.
"YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO HAVE YOUR LUNCH THATS WAS THE AGREEMENT.!!!!" in a verbal onslaught not stated in a calm manner.
"YOU HAVE ONE MORE CHANCE OR I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU."
I calmly got up had some food and went for a walk to get away from the constant harassment. I have this daily and it's very hurtful everyday as I suffer. I will continue endure this pain as I promised someone that I would take action against this person as they have dependants to support. I suffer everyday but I survive. This person and another constantly keep analysing my behaviour on purpose to keep me in the limelight in order to destroy me but they won't.
To me both, as they don't realise this constant supervision constitutes a severe level of harassment. I will continue to survive and record these events so others realise I suffer at the hands of others. The constant twisting of character assassination by these two is so depressing but I have to professional to ignore their constant criticism. Others see this level of abuse but will not come to my defence because they are do not want rock the boat. I have to survive as I have to earn money to recompensate the third party for the hurt caused.
My story will continue...........
"DO YOU THINK I BLIND?" , I calmly replied "NO. but that's your opinion."
"DO YOU THINK I DEAF?" I calmly repeated the same reply.
"DO YOU THINK I AM THICK?" , I camly repeated the same reply.
"YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO HAVE YOUR LUNCH THATS WAS THE AGREEMENT.!!!!" in a verbal onslaught not stated in a calm manner.
"YOU HAVE ONE MORE CHANCE OR I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU."
I calmly got up had some food and went for a walk to get away from the constant harassment. I have this daily and it's very hurtful everyday as I suffer. I will continue endure this pain as I promised someone that I would take action against this person as they have dependants to support. I suffer everyday but I survive. This person and another constantly keep analysing my behaviour on purpose to keep me in the limelight in order to destroy me but they won't.
To me both, as they don't realise this constant supervision constitutes a severe level of harassment. I will continue to survive and record these events so others realise I suffer at the hands of others. The constant twisting of character assassination by these two is so depressing but I have to professional to ignore their constant criticism. Others see this level of abuse but will not come to my defence because they are do not want rock the boat. I have to survive as I have to earn money to recompensate the third party for the hurt caused.
My story will continue...........
Thank you so much. You saved me today and I never say thank you in person but I can from the bottom of my heart. I very down today as I still struggle on a day to day basis. My only comfort is helping others because I simply care. That's me I'm just caring because I might suffer but I have to give to society for the hurt I caused. In my eyes, the right thing to do and to shows others that life is not about revenge but compassion.
Nowadays we tend hear and read about hatred and not compassion. Like they say not all news is bad but we must strive to show compassion and spread a little happiness in this miserable world. That's what I am trying to portray here that when in despair sometimes the best medication is laughter itself rather than man-made pills.
I was a happy person once but until I am forgiven, I will see and feel the darkness for the rest of my life and deservedly so. I give up happiness for the rest of my life to show remorse for what hurt I caused and may it for a long long time. Sometimes you meet people we have totally, not intentionally, have transformed your life and make respect what life is about.
I was gained the confidence and trust of this third party but I vowed that I would the things shared to me in order to the respect and never to dishonour this person reputation at all. Even it means doing the final commitment I will never betray this and may I continue to suffer everyday at the pleasure of tormentors.
This will indicate to the third party, I really and still do care even though there is nothing or not a future together. The hurt is raw today as it was two and half years ago. I hope the hurt I feel everyday is the opposite for the third party. Every time I hurt I hope the third party is really happy and having the time of their life. I hope and wish the third party has become successful and follow their dreams whist I live a lifetime of nightmare. As I write this tears of hurt roll down not for me but for the third party.
I am so down today but I will survive as I have done the two and half years.
My story will continue......
Nowadays we tend hear and read about hatred and not compassion. Like they say not all news is bad but we must strive to show compassion and spread a little happiness in this miserable world. That's what I am trying to portray here that when in despair sometimes the best medication is laughter itself rather than man-made pills.
I was a happy person once but until I am forgiven, I will see and feel the darkness for the rest of my life and deservedly so. I give up happiness for the rest of my life to show remorse for what hurt I caused and may it for a long long time. Sometimes you meet people we have totally, not intentionally, have transformed your life and make respect what life is about.
I was gained the confidence and trust of this third party but I vowed that I would the things shared to me in order to the respect and never to dishonour this person reputation at all. Even it means doing the final commitment I will never betray this and may I continue to suffer everyday at the pleasure of tormentors.
This will indicate to the third party, I really and still do care even though there is nothing or not a future together. The hurt is raw today as it was two and half years ago. I hope the hurt I feel everyday is the opposite for the third party. Every time I hurt I hope the third party is really happy and having the time of their life. I hope and wish the third party has become successful and follow their dreams whist I live a lifetime of nightmare. As I write this tears of hurt roll down not for me but for the third party.
I am so down today but I will survive as I have done the two and half years.
My story will continue......
Brian thank you for your kind words but honestly I do not deserve. What I do is just me. I share my experience to leave a legacy and to shows others that LIFE ITSELF IS IMPORTANT.
I apologise for being horrible. I CANNOT FORGIVE MYSELF EVER FOR THE HURT I CAUSED TO THE THIRD PARTY. I MUST SELF-PUNISH MYSELF EVERYDAY AS I CARE ABOUT THE HURT I CAUSED. I WILL DO THE IMPOSSIBLE PROMISE AS ITS THE ONLY REASON I LIVE FOR NOW AS WELL CARING FOR OTHERS HERE AND THE HOMELESS.
I AM SORTY BUT I AM SCUM WHO CAUSED A FELLOW HUMAN BEING HURT AND I MUST AND I MEAN MUST HURT FOR THIS THE REST OF MY NATURAL LIFE. IT WILL SHOW OTHERS THAT I CARE ENOUGH TO PUNISH MYSELF IMMENSELY EVERYDAY AND PERHAPS IN A VERY LONG TIME SUCH AS TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW I MIGHT GET THE CHANCE TO BE FORGIVEN.
I MADE A MASSIVE COMMITTMENT AND I WILL HONOUR THAT AS PROMISES ARE KEPT AND NEVER BROKEN. I MIGHT NOT ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE BUT AT LEAST IM TRYING TO MAKE AMENDMENTS FOR THE HURT CAUSED. I HOPE THE THIRD PARTY IS HAPPY IN THEIR HEART AND SOUL EVERYDAY AS I NEED TO FEEL THE PAIN CAUSED FOR ENTERNITY.
LIKE I SAY IM SOULESS AND HELL-BOUND...... I HOPE I METAPHORICALLY BURN IN THE FIRES OF HELL FOR ENTERNITY AND THE THIRD PARTY MIGHT FORGIVE BUT I FEEL THAT THERE IS NO CHANCE OF THAT.
MY STRUGGLE WILL CONTINUE BUT I WILL MAKE THIS PROMISE...
My story will continue.....
I apologise for being horrible. I CANNOT FORGIVE MYSELF EVER FOR THE HURT I CAUSED TO THE THIRD PARTY. I MUST SELF-PUNISH MYSELF EVERYDAY AS I CARE ABOUT THE HURT I CAUSED. I WILL DO THE IMPOSSIBLE PROMISE AS ITS THE ONLY REASON I LIVE FOR NOW AS WELL CARING FOR OTHERS HERE AND THE HOMELESS.
I AM SORTY BUT I AM SCUM WHO CAUSED A FELLOW HUMAN BEING HURT AND I MUST AND I MEAN MUST HURT FOR THIS THE REST OF MY NATURAL LIFE. IT WILL SHOW OTHERS THAT I CARE ENOUGH TO PUNISH MYSELF IMMENSELY EVERYDAY AND PERHAPS IN A VERY LONG TIME SUCH AS TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW I MIGHT GET THE CHANCE TO BE FORGIVEN.
I MADE A MASSIVE COMMITTMENT AND I WILL HONOUR THAT AS PROMISES ARE KEPT AND NEVER BROKEN. I MIGHT NOT ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE BUT AT LEAST IM TRYING TO MAKE AMENDMENTS FOR THE HURT CAUSED. I HOPE THE THIRD PARTY IS HAPPY IN THEIR HEART AND SOUL EVERYDAY AS I NEED TO FEEL THE PAIN CAUSED FOR ENTERNITY.
LIKE I SAY IM SOULESS AND HELL-BOUND...... I HOPE I METAPHORICALLY BURN IN THE FIRES OF HELL FOR ENTERNITY AND THE THIRD PARTY MIGHT FORGIVE BUT I FEEL THAT THERE IS NO CHANCE OF THAT.
MY STRUGGLE WILL CONTINUE BUT I WILL MAKE THIS PROMISE...
My story will continue.....
Today was a tough day as I kept quiet all day ignoring one tormentor who kept goading at me indirect and making snide comments. I played dumb but the snide comments caused me immense turmoil. How much more I have to suffer everyday as I will not give into such torment. The best revenge is no revenge as I might be considered a piece of scum but I will not lower myself to a level where these tormentors who play a cloak and dagger image in order to provoke me to react to their comments. If I ignore these comments then I survive each day just about but I crash on a nightly basis.
I cry in my sleep because I feel hurt as I hurt someone who I really cared about and trying to recover from. I take ten steps towards and then twenty steps back. My heart within heart really wants to say sorry to the third party but I cannot bring myself to do it because I do not cause unnecessary hurt.
I'm an very emotional person who takes a lot of hurt to heart and is always willingly to say sorry. I will survive as I met a homeless person who wanted a drink and I helped him by buying him some drinks for $2 dollars. He helped me a lot and as
I am a soft touch I returned the favour. He knows that I will help him as when I become homeless eventually I will survive because I helped my new family.
My story will continue....... Take care folk. LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND NEVER DOUBT THAT...
I cry in my sleep because I feel hurt as I hurt someone who I really cared about and trying to recover from. I take ten steps towards and then twenty steps back. My heart within heart really wants to say sorry to the third party but I cannot bring myself to do it because I do not cause unnecessary hurt.
I'm an very emotional person who takes a lot of hurt to heart and is always willingly to say sorry. I will survive as I met a homeless person who wanted a drink and I helped him by buying him some drinks for $2 dollars. He helped me a lot and as
I am a soft touch I returned the favour. He knows that I will help him as when I become homeless eventually I will survive because I helped my new family.
My story will continue....... Take care folk. LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND NEVER DOUBT THAT...
Yesterday, I crashed when a tormentor decided to call me a degrotatary name to my face. I crashed heavily inside but I did not show any emotion as if I show emotion it causes them to give me more hurt. I continued to keep a low profile and worked as they constantly observed my behaviour. The unnecessary torment gave this person personal pleasure but I will no resort to aggression. Another person made indirect remarks but that person has their own issues.
As I continue to struggle with my darkness, I know I made a heavy commitment and that's what I continue to live and nothing more. I suffer everyday at the hands of these tormentors but I have taken a vow of silence to never to reveal the identity of this third party as I must face the physical and mental pain for everyday of life. Like I say I caused a untoll hurt , emotional distress but I will never break the trust I gained. Even though there was no future between us and never will be as I have to come terms with everyday of my life. The hurt is still raw today and needs to remain for everyday of my life.
I know life is important and I must not give into my demons what want me to go hell where .i should burn. I might struggle but I am determined to battle everyday of my life to keep surviving...
Too my haters, your hate will be your downfall but when my death comes I know in my heart of hearts I did try redeem myself everyday by helping others in my life. I am just me and nothing more.
My story will continue as long as long as I can breath live into my body because I deeply care for the hurt I caused. I must feel the pain.................
LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS..........
As I continue to struggle with my darkness, I know I made a heavy commitment and that's what I continue to live and nothing more. I suffer everyday at the hands of these tormentors but I have taken a vow of silence to never to reveal the identity of this third party as I must face the physical and mental pain for everyday of life. Like I say I caused a untoll hurt , emotional distress but I will never break the trust I gained. Even though there was no future between us and never will be as I have to come terms with everyday of my life. The hurt is still raw today and needs to remain for everyday of my life.
I know life is important and I must not give into my demons what want me to go hell where .i should burn. I might struggle but I am determined to battle everyday of my life to keep surviving...
Too my haters, your hate will be your downfall but when my death comes I know in my heart of hearts I did try redeem myself everyday by helping others in my life. I am just me and nothing more.
My story will continue as long as long as I can breath live into my body because I deeply care for the hurt I caused. I must feel the pain.................
LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS..........
Petal, again as ever you saved me again from doing something stupid. Thank you so much. The support given keeps me going as dwell between life and the final commitment. I struggle everyday as I try to achieve the impossible as nothing else matters in my life. I made a vow of silence and must struggle everyday in completing the impossible. I have made a heavy commitment and I will keep my word because I deeply care for the hurtful hurt I caused to the third party. The third party will never realise or understand the hurt I go through everyday I because I must suffer for the rest of entire life. I do not deserve any happiness but pain and misery.
The hurt and pain barrier I go through everyday at the hands of my tormentors is well deserved but I must suffer everyday as I must suffer the hurt everyday. My life is rewritten as for the rest of life I must help others as tits the right thing to do. If I don't achieve the impossible then that's an extra bonus.
My entire life is dedicated to help others here and what I come across in my life path. I must give back as I must show remorse for the hurt I caused.
LIFE IS IMPORTANT AS EACH BREATH I TAKE I MUST HELP OTHERS AS APART OF MY REMORSE PROCESS.
I MUST SUFFER IN DARKNESS BY HELPING OTHERS TO SEE THE LIGHT. I DONT DESERVE LIGHT BUT PERMANENT DARKNESS AND FOREVER AND EVER WALK THIS EARTH SOULESS AND CHAINED AS I AM HELL-BOUND.
My story will continue......... I promise.......
The hurt and pain barrier I go through everyday at the hands of my tormentors is well deserved but I must suffer everyday as I must suffer the hurt everyday. My life is rewritten as for the rest of life I must help others as tits the right thing to do. If I don't achieve the impossible then that's an extra bonus.
My entire life is dedicated to help others here and what I come across in my life path. I must give back as I must show remorse for the hurt I caused.
LIFE IS IMPORTANT AS EACH BREATH I TAKE I MUST HELP OTHERS AS APART OF MY REMORSE PROCESS.
I MUST SUFFER IN DARKNESS BY HELPING OTHERS TO SEE THE LIGHT. I DONT DESERVE LIGHT BUT PERMANENT DARKNESS AND FOREVER AND EVER WALK THIS EARTH SOULESS AND CHAINED AS I AM HELL-BOUND.
My story will continue......... I promise.......
CityGirl47. I have read you reply. I have been persuaded to stick around for the time being. I cannot say how long as I still decide between life and the afterlife. The hurt I feel for third party is immense but I cannot be forgiven. You are not being selfish at all and for that reason if you need me around then so be it.
I promise my story will continue but I must suffer for hurt caused.........
I promise my story will continue but I must suffer for hurt caused.........