Want to Kill Myself After Seeing Shrink

[Piano~Phantom]

I'm fourteen and I;m pretty certain I'm schizophrenic, OCD, and ODD. My mom took me to a shrink today and it was the worst thing ever. I've been suicidal the past few weeks. I can't take it any more.

I see no reason to live any more and I don't want to go back to the psychiatrist if it costs me my life. She won't let me quit and I have panic attacks every time I go past the buildings in the city where the psychiatrist works. I hate everything about it. I feel so alianated and like I'm some sort of freak. No one cares. the shrink wants to try electroshock therapy on me and my mom's fine with that.

I see no reason to live any more, anyways. I'm failing school, I hardly have any friends, my mom thinks I'm psycho, I want to murder people, I have no goals in life any more, I don't care if anyone would grieve at my death because it's likely a huge weight off of their shoulders. I can't go back to the city, and I went through horrible things at the psychiatrists office. There's no way out of going other than killing myself.

Which way will be less painful so that my mom won't know until morning when it's already done and over with so she can't save me?

 

[becki]

babe you ok??xx

 

[cult logic]

^ Obviously not.

Not sure what to really say, I mean, a psychiatrist is probably your best bet.

At the same time it doesn't seem like things are being conducted appropriately and you're not being heard.

EDIT: Concerning that last part, no one here is going to tell you that. Such research is best done elsewhere.

 

[Piano~Phantom]

^ Obviously not.

Not sure what to really say, I mean, a psychiatrist is probably your best bet.

At the same time it doesn't seem like things are being conducted appropriately and you're not being heard.

I've seen one before after my first school suspension (I've had countless sense so I'm probably not going to get into a good college), but they didn't do jack squat but stare at me and try to be friends with me. I know how they work and I'm not going to let them work on me.

My mother took me to one against my knowledge and later my will. I see him again on Monday. I'm afraid and scared and she won't let me back out of it. I can take care of myself like I have been the past nine years just fine.

 

[becki]

fawkes...i know when i said babe u ok.....obviuosly he's not but as a quick reply i didn't know what to say....hope you don't think she's stupid.my reply was bad but just came out straight away.xxxxx

 

[sudut]

Piano,
most of these things you are thinking are not even true. You can't tell what others are thinking and judge yourself from that. You don't have any evidence that people think you are worthless.

 

[rx4brdm]

Protest shock therapy but don't give up on the idea of seeing a psychiatrist, please? I swore it wouldn't help, I kept my eyes shut to the idea. Well I was wrong it did help. There is still ups and downs, but it helps.

There is too much left in life, don't give up.