Was it my fault

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by Rockclimbinggirl, Apr 3, 2016.

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  1. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    It something that I can't help but wonder. Was it my fault and did I deserve it? I know that a child isn't responsible for an emotional outburst by an adult, but I can't help but wonder. Was it because I was a bad little girl.

    I told my counsellor how my mom would yell a me. He asked me if I thought that I deserved what I got? Since then, I can't help but wonder if it was my fault that I got yelled I and if I deserved for the little thing that I possible did.
     
  2. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    There is a difference between a parent raising their voice once and awhile and being verbally abusive. There is no excuse for the lather. If it torments you in your later years in life, than it was abuse at some level, and no, no child deserves abuse. *hugs*
     
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    No, hun. The answer is no. I don't think you were, but even if you were a 'difficult' child there is no excuse for what they did to you. They should have known better; they were the adults and you were just a child who needed and deserved love and affection.

    I think the reason your therapist asked you that was so you could work with that feeling with him eventually.
     
  4. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    I know the answer is no, but I can't get myself to believe it. The responsibility idea, well I didn't even have it until the counsellor asked me about whether I thought I deserved it.
     
  5. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I hope you work on that with him soon, because you should not have to think like that, it was not your fault at all.
    But I know those thoughts... I get them too... but it's not facts. Would you ever blame another child for having abusive parents?
     
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    It was not your fault. Please stay strong and I hope the therapy works out.
     
  7. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    No, I wouldn't.
     
  8. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Then you should never blame yourself hun *hugs*
     
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