weak

[goldengreen]

i am very thin. people point it out often. sure, they don’t mean any harm, and i’m not angry about it, but it still hurts. why can’t i just look like other guys my age?
i’m short, too. scrawny is probably the best word to describe me.
even when i try to exercise, i’m still so weak. i’ve even gained muscle, but because of my small build it just doesn’t show, and i’m still not strong enough.
i hate it. nobody takes me seriously. i’ve always been this way and i’m ashamed of it.
doesn’t help that it’s hard for me to eat because of sensory and anxiety issues. i’m underweight and i certainly don’t want to be.

 

[seabird]

All people , notwithstanding body size are welcome here @goldengreen .
I'm sorry you're troubled by society's irrational judgmental attitudes. It seems some people are obsessed with paying negative attention to others, and that some have a sick need to communicate their narrow and in my opinion, stupid assessments on appearance.
I hope you are healthy & can feel confident in who you are.

hug

 

[I Love Tomorrow]

Hello. I've had similar feelings at certain points in my life especially in high school. It takes time sometimes to feel comfortable in our own body, especially when others make us feel inadequate or 'weak'. Your mind and self confidence is the most important muscle to build and defense toward those feelings. You also shouldn't feel ashamed of something you didn't create, or have no choice over. Things can also change, even if can't currently see it

 

[goldengreen]

thanks for your replies @seabird and @I Love Tomorrow, very encouraging and kind <3
sometimes when i feel down on myself about my appearance all it takes is a little reassurance, and opening this thread and seeing your words gave me that. thank you!

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

My husband is the same way. He is very slim and also has a thin face so people think he's even thinner, and some people have given him a hard time about it when he was younger. It's hard for him to gain muscle because he doesn't have the "reserves" and he gets a lot of muscle aches from strength training - I make a smoothie with protein and greens powder that seems to help him as a post-workout recovery drink.

Honestly it's healthier than being fat, but it's hard when men in our society are supposed to be big. It's more socially acceptable for men to be "husky" than thin.

I used to be very thin (partly due to not enough food growing up) and now I'm 54 and overweight for a few reasons. I didn't like being thin but I hate being fat. I do go to the gym now which helps.

 

[Sad Elf]

@goldengreen I do wish people would think before the comment on people's appearance, no matter how well meaning. I know it's frustrating but there are people out there who didn't give a s### what our look like. I would much rather have a friend / partner etc who is 'scrawny' but kind and interesting than a well built body builder. Hang on in there plenty of people love and respect u for who u r.

 

[KM76710]

thanks for your replies @seabird and @I Love Tomorrow, very encouraging and kind <3
sometimes when i feel down on myself about my appearance all it takes is a little reassurance, and opening this thread and seeing your words gave me that. thank you!

I hope you always get that reassurance here because people here are supportive and you are in thoughts with us.

 

[goldengreen]

My husband is the same way. He is very slim and also has a thin face so people think he's even thinner, and some people have given him a hard time about it when he was younger. It's hard for him to gain muscle because he doesn't have the "reserves" and he gets a lot of muscle aches from strength training - I make a smoothie with protein and greens powder that seems to help him as a post-workout recovery drink.

Honestly it's healthier than being fat, but it's hard when men in our society are supposed to be big. It's more socially acceptable for men to be "husky" than thin.

I used to be very thin (partly due to not enough food growing up) and now I'm 54 and overweight for a few reasons. I didn't like being thin but I hate being fat. I do go to the gym now which helps.

(idk if this is necessary, but for the sake of caution, CW for food and sickness related things)

it’s nice to hear that i’m not alone, so thank you for that.

it being “healthier than being fat” isn’t necessarily true; both can be detrimental in extremes, and both can kill. i’m not saying i have the same struggles as a fat person but it is something to take seriously because it can and does negatively affect your health. in my case, i can hardly eat, and when i try to eat normal portions (even a bite more when i’m full) i end up nauseous at best and throwing up at worst. i get intense headaches and stomach pain because i simply can’t feed myself properly. it really perpetuates the problem. can’t eat and can’t build muscle because i’m so small.
standing up makes me feel faint, and i often come close to passing out from doing ordinary things like going up or down stairs.

it could be a lot worse, of course, but that’s the health stuff i struggle with from being a tiny person and having a garbage relationship with eating lol

edit: oh also i forgot to say but i absolutely agree with you about expectations for men in our society!

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

@goldengreen - sorry I didn't mean that being seriously underweight is better than being fat. I was just thinking of my husband. You are in a worse spot than he is, clearly. Have you sought medical attention?

 

[Incuso]

That's the best description of my relationship with food since the hormones I've ever seen anywhere. Inc the ED forums I browsed.

I am really interested, have you been diagnosed for that? If so, with what?

My docs say,
It's not anorexia, as I dont deliberately restrict.
It's not bulimia, as I dont binge before the involuntary purge...

 

[goldengreen]

@goldengreen - sorry I didn't mean that being seriously underweight is better than being fat. I was just thinking of my husband. You are in a worse spot than he is, clearly. Have you sought medical attention?

it’s okay! i just wanted to explain
no, i haven’t. my family in the best place financially, unfortunately. also a lot of this is a strong combination of mental and physical stuff (mental problems causing me to not be able to eat, including trauma related to stomach pain), so it’s hard to pinpoint exactly where I should go for the issue.

 

[goldengreen]

That's the best description of my relationship with food since the hormones I've ever seen anywhere. Inc the ED forums I browsed.

I am really interested, have you been diagnosed for that? If so, with what?

My docs say,
It's not anorexia, as I dont deliberately restrict.
It's not bulimia, as I dont binge before the involuntary purge...

unfortunately, i haven’t received a diagnosis or treatment. the closest diagnoses i have are anxiety, which may contribute to the headaches and almost certainly contributes to the stomach pain, as well as adhd which causes me to forget to feed myself.

this is super interesting to me too since i’ve never met someone who has issues like mine regarding food. may i ask, was there anything in particular that started this problem for you?
for me it began when i started skipping lunch every day about three years ago. it was deliberate then (though it was not related to body image, so not anorexia—just a method i used to self destruct) but once i started trying to eat regularly again, it was extremely difficult.