Were you bullied?

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by Petal, Feb 22, 2015.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Were you bullied at school or in the work place? If so, why do you think you were targeted?

    I left school in 2004 age 14, I could not face the bullies anymore,it was constant slagging and torment. I was an easy target for bullies because of my shyness and naivety. I'd rather not say what they did because it is a long story.

    Feel free to share your bullying story! I'd like to hear them. I think more should be done to protect kids from bullying other kids but I have no idea as to what. Also how were you affected?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 22, 2015
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Yes, I was bullied plenty all throughout school. Didn't happen much in elementary school, mostly it was middle through high school, even up until I graduated. I was only verbally bullied, but it had long lasting effects, even to this day. I was targeted for several reasons...I was shy, quiet, I didn't really "fit in" with anyone. While they were out partying, I was reading books, so they probably saw me as an oddity. Sometimes even when spoken to, I had trouble speaking, so they probably saw me as strange, or possibly even rude. I was poor, didn't wear the right clothes, didn't look the right way, I didn't fight back and they knew their words would upset me, so I was an easy target. Even some of the teachers joined in, to shame me even in front of the whole class. It was horrible and no one should have to go through it. There definitely should be more done about bullying in schools.
     
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  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am really sorry to hear that witty. It seems they pick on the quiet ones knowing the quiet ones won't speak up and tell someone, they are c.o.w.a.r.d.s.
    I confronted one of my bully's a few months back and let me just say he won't be coming near me again. I gave him a right piece of my mind. I was pleased with myself :)

    As with you witty I was bullied by teachers too, I changed school because of that. They are supposed to use their common sense and not kick a dog when already down.
     
  4. JustKindaThere

    JustKindaThere Well-Known Member

    Highschool. I was just an easy target for some people.
     
  5. qteallex

    qteallex Active Member

    in primary and middle school I was kinda bullied, in the form of being left out/ treated as disgusting and some name-calling now and again. thankfully it eased off a bit in highschool, and I learned to laugh it off.
     
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I was bullied in upper elementary and middle school to a huge degree. It was both verbal and physical. I can't really say why, but I can't help but think it was due to being from a broken family and being poor. Also suffering from abuse at home. I was and still an a quiet person that really doors not like to draw any kind of attention to myself, good or bad. It is said that abusers can sense those that are already victims, making them easy targets. So many days, weeks, months, and years of living in fear have no doubt put me where I am.
     
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I was bullied in highschool because I was chubby. One of the bullies poked me with the pointy end of a compass because she wanted to see if I would "deflate".
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you all for sharing your stories, after more thought on the subject I think a punishment of not allowing to take state examination for so long could work. Here in Ireland if you are caught cheating in a state exam you cannot do another state exam for at least 7 years so maybe that would be a deterrent. I wonder how bullies typically do in school. I know mine didn't do great and never went to 3rd level. They like to bring everyone else down with them like the scumbags they are.
     
  9. The only person that I could say that bullied me regularly growing up was my mom, but that's a completely different story. I have never been bullied on a regular basis, but some people have attempted to push me around during different stages of my life before quickly learning that bullying me is a no-no. My first experience with bullying began sometime in high school. Please note beforehand that I regularly took up boxing and self-defense training as a teenager. I developed an interest in fighting because I not only needed self-defense training to protect me from the dangers of the streets I grew up in, but also from my own mom too, who pretty much treated me like a piƱata growing up. When I reached high school, people that I played with in the neighborhood as a little girl and went to birthday parties with as a preteen started avoiding me in high school for whatever reason, possibly due to jealousy. They formed their own little cliques in high school and eventually started spreading nasty rumors about me. Based on the rumors they spread, they started making fun of me and eventually had some other girls beyond their clique doing the same thing. My former best friend during our younger days would make fun of me by bringing up embarrassing things that happened to me in the past. When I was in middle school, to shorten another long story, I experienced my first period in the most embarrassing way during a show and tell presentation when wearing white pants. During this time, my friend came to my defense. However, in high school, she told her little clique and many others about what happened to me that day. Because of her gossip, many people in school disrespectfully started referring to me as "Menstrual" instead of Bri or Brianna. I didn't like that shit, so I confronted my former friend about it. I warned her that if she fucked with me again, I would beat her ass.

    She didn't take me seriously though. She just laughed and said that she had me outnumbered. I wasn't trying to get jumped, so I walked away. Seemingly after that, she and her little clique tried to intimidate me by ganging up on me during certain times after school. They didn't scare me, but I didn't want to get jumped. Eventually, my own friends said that they noticed this and had my back. The day after school, my former friend and her little clique confronted me when I was with my friends in the neighborhood. We mostly chose to fight after school away from the school to avoid getting shit from the staff. <Mod Edit - inappropriate content> After arguing a bit, there was a physical fight. Before I knew it, there was a big brawl in the neighborhood. Police were called and the girl from the other clique said me and my friends jumped her. Her friends went along with her story while my friends told the truth. The police didn't know who to believe, so they just took most of us to a detention center that day. I got out in a couple of hours though. A lot of people heard about that at school and no one ever tried messing with me again, at school at least. I went to prison when I was 22 and I had quite a few inmates try to bully me there too. I could post that later on because it's too much.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 30, 2015
  10. Null

    Null Well-Known Member

    In 3rd Grade a bully urinated on me in the bathroom. I was soaked and it got in my mouth and eyes. When I told the teacher, I got in trouble for "making stuff up".
     
  11. ThinBlueFlame

    ThinBlueFlame Member

    Yes. I was born with cataracts so I had to wear very thick bifocals. Kids were incredibly mean. I tried wearing contacts at 6 years old but they were uncomfortable so I went back to glasses. I then tried contacts again at 12 and have been wearing them for the past 21 years. I'm 33 now and refuse to wear my glasses in public or in front of my roommates since the past bullying destroyed my self-esteem and that sucks because I can see much better with my glasses than my contacts. My younger sister was also born with cataracts and I hear stories about people being mean to her and it makes me see red. It just brings everything back and makes me so angry for her, me, everybody who has ever been bullied.
     
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  12. sick2deth

    sick2deth Well-Known Member

    Yes I was bullied, Simple indicator that I was unique.
     
  13. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I have been bullied at school , work and now. I suffer from low self - esteem issues everyday. I do not like people being bullied as it's not nice. Bullies are just cowards.
     
  14. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    I was in high school and it ruined my self esteem it still affect me to this day.
     
  15. stargazing

    stargazing Member

    Yes. It made me mistrust peoples intentions up untill my present life. When I feel people try to cage me in mentally in whatever way, I walk away.
    I am someone that burns bridges a lot, not that I am happy that its like that but its out of self protection, as I feel trapped very fast by other peoples actions.
    If someone tries to control me, I'm out.

    The bullying was mostly mentally, trying to make me feel like I was disgusting or dumb.
    I remember one girl chewed off pieces of plastic off her writing map/book and spit them in my hair, I was 17.
    The bad part was she pretended to by my friend in break time, we hung out in the same group, it was confusing.

    Also when in one friendgroup there was one very jealous girl, she was jealous of my friendship with our mutual friend.
    She went furious if we went to do something without her once a year, while they did things together all the time.
    I stayed with them for a long time, accepting her behaviour, hoping it would change.
    Until I realised that what she was doing was simply bullying and I was fed up and I stepped out of the friendsgroup.

    One boy in our neighborhood, he used to like me and asked if I wanted to date him, which I refused, and a few weeks later he had to tell me
    constantly how much he hated me and he wanted to throw me under the train. It was not just a few times but it went on for months, whenever he had the chance,
    like a mental sledgehammer.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 18, 2015
  16. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I used to get out of my village to get away from it all and get away from those I don't like but now when I go into the city I see my main bully off her face on heroin, so many people have told me as well as me seeing it. I have learned to be the better person and ignore her, pretend she is not there. She was asleep outside the shop New Look last week. Unbelievable but cannot say I am surprised. I'm only assuming it's heroin since I have been told that by many people. I hate to talk ill of someone but karma is real.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 18, 2015
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  17. caspar

    caspar Well-Known Member

    I was. I don't ever talk about it, because it was such a strange, complicated situation. Two of my friends basically bullied me, they picked out my insecurites mercilessly, which of course made me more nervous. I never told anyone about it until years later. I think I felt lonely at the time because no one seemed to care about me. I think I internalised the situation, and concluded that it was my fault, I didn't know how to handle people (I seriously don't even now), that I wasn't good enough for anyone to care about me and my wellbeing. I actually forgave the two of them, I was friends with one of them afterwards. I think they're both doing well now, much better than me.

    I'm pretty much a target for bullying though, not sure why. I was bullied before that at a very young age, then as an adult at work a couple of times. Kind of compounds the feeling that there's something wrong with me and nothing will ever get better. I wonder how it would be to be one of those people who breeze though life.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 20, 2015
  18. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I was bullied through all my school years, high school, college, secretary school even. And at my job as a secretary at the local hospital.

    I was bullied by students and coworkers and even teachers. In year 8 and 9 we had a strict maths teacher, (what I found out later is that I'm dyscalculic) he loved to humiliate me in front of the class. He would make me stand up and try to answer questions and when I started having panic attacks he would inform me there was a seat for me in kindergarten.
    I started skipping school to avoid him, it basically meant I was only in school two days per week for most of year 9 and not even two full days. I would show up the day all the homework was handed out and return the day they were supposed to be handed in again. That way I avoided having to retake the year.

    A fellow student who was also not treated all that well actually started a diary of all the things he did to me, but it was useless... he was head teacher at the school and all complaints had to go through him.

    My math skills are now a lot worse than they had to be despite my learning difficulty... in college I had to stop making my math homework because just looking at something like x+2=5 made me cry and gave me panic attacks because of that man.

    In college a teacher bullied me too, for the simple fact that I was a woman. I have always loved writing, and he literally told me that "women shouldn't write" that was in 2006!! he marked all my papers on creative writing down no matter what I did, I always ended up with a bad grade. As soon as he retired and we got a new teacher I suddenly got top marks for writing like I had before him.

    Other students have always been making fun of me, laughed when I tried to speak in class, and one particular student dedicated 7 of our first school years to making my life hell.
    I was a big kid and he would pretend he couldn't pass me in the wide hallways, call me names, push me, throw stuff at me, stuff things down my pants... a lot of it happened in front of the teachers who did nothing to stop it. (The school had a 'no bullying' policy; which was interpreted as bullying just didn't exist even if it was glaring you right in the face) when visiting my mum I have to use the bus stop at the school and I can see that hasn't changed.

    I met that boy some years after, I have realized why he did it. He had issues with his growth hormone and had been bullied himself, so to avoid being bullied as he changed school in the middle of the year he found the easiest victim to seem stronger.
    He tried to tell me he was sorry for what he did but I had to tell him "Please don't talk to me"



    Bullying ruined my life, I think I'd be somehow 'okay' despite all the abuse and cr*p if I wasn't bullied so massively. It stole away all of my confidence.


    It also gave me a stammer, it's not that profound anymore, luckily. Now when I get nervous I sometimes repeat a few sentences. I started taking acting classes every year to learn to speak in front of people. I learned to put on a character so it wasn't me standing there in front of people.
     
  19. AngelofPainandMisery

    AngelofPainandMisery Fails to communicate effectively

    I'm not sure if I was bullied, I think I was, but it was more just being ignored, people pretending I wasn't there or didn't exist. Don't know if that's bullying or not, sometimes was it even intentional I think I have an invisibility cloak or something.
    Kind of the story of my life, "I just don't know" I remember everything, but I don't "know" anything.
    I probably don't have anything to complain of though.
     
  20. RainThunder

    RainThunder Member

    Yes. I've been bullied. I had my hair cut off to a short haircut due to trichotillomania. She never did take me to the doctor for it, she just gave me a short boy hair cut. then from age 9 to like 13 I was mistaken for a boy and bullied endlessly. when I say bullied, I mean name calling, put downs. The kids in my specific class were decent so they it was the other classes which acted like that.

    Anyway, I didn't really go to HS, and I wasn't exactly bullied in College either but due to many reasons I never graduated.

    I think of gas-lighting is bullying in a way, and when its a bunch of people gaslighting you, acting like you are the problem when they clearly know that you are innocent a good person etc, I think that's bullying. So, I guess you can say I've been bullied by my family my entire life.

    I love to remember this thing I saw on the internets, where these kids on a bus were verbally assaulting, bullying this woman, a bus monitor, telling her all kinds of horrible stuff. And someone recorded and it got out to the internet. And people were so offended and felt such compassion for this woman, that they set up an account for her and sent her money, so much money that she could do whatever she wanted with. They sent her like more than 700, 000.00

    So this is what I think these days when I think of the bullies. Even the bullies in my own family. If people heard how you talked, people would be so upset they would donate money to me. There would be an outcry against you. People hate you.

    So, regardless of how my family lies on me, treats me, or what other people have said or done that was cruel, if the world knew, they would hate it and and love me. To be loved for a lie is nothing. So I feel vindicated in that. I think that every day. The only reason these people get away with it is because there is no spot light on it. Look how people are turning against bullying now. Its terrific. When i was a kid, it was like, punch the bully in the nose, aka (don't be weak). Now they educate the little ones in school not to bully. My 7 yrold has been taught what it is and that its wrong. So, I kinda take that compassion they sent that woman to be the way people would really feel about me. I feel so much better knowing that people are against it. People are against the montsers. I know this now. I didn't know this then.

    I'm sorry to read the no tolerance rule being used to completely ignore the reality. Its painful how people can twist things into the polar opposite of what its supposed to be.

    I was also always reading books etc. Shy quiet etc. But really I just never clicked with most people because I was fearful because I was living in an entirely different world than them.