What Do I Tell My Cousin??

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Nessarose, Nov 25, 2007.

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  1. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member

    She wrote that she's coughing up blood, has fainted, and has "found a new talent in pretending to eat." I'm bewildered and I don't know what to do. For those of you with an eating disorder or a loved one with an eating disorder...what should I tell her? Should I alert the family, or would that be breaking her trust and make things worse? I'm beginning to think she'll have to be hospitalized like i was. I'm really worried. She is stick-thin, and I mean stick-thin. She doesn't look healthy (and neither does my other cousin). I don't want her to have problems with her heart, I don't want her teeth to fall out, I don't want her to lose her hair and go through all this pain. Those are just a few of the effects I've read about. I'm really worried about her heart. What on earth do I do?
     
  2. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    About the medical thing, it does cause a shit load of medical problems. A LOT of them.

    I could say what would probably be the RIGHT thing, which would be to tell someone, but personally I wouldn't. I mean anyone will tell you that if you know you should tell someone, but I'm just saying if you don't want your relationship with her to get screwed up.. I don't know, I just know that if one of my friends told someone I'd be pissed, but I guess it's different for everyone, you know?

    I'm not sure what exactly to say, and I don't want to tell you to do anything wrong.. but good luck, and just make sure she's okay.. it sneaks up on you in a second and then everything's just falling apart, you know? :hug:

    Sorry if none of that makes sense; I'm half asleep.
     
  3. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Mel. :hug: I wrote to her and offered support and to call, or said she can call me. I'm trying to get up the courage to call anyway but she may be asleep right now.
     
  4. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Hey Nessa :) I would tell her that if she didn't start gaining weight NOW or if she didn't tell someone, that out of concern for her life, you will be forced to tell the family.
     
  5. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member

    Thanks. :) One problem is that my aunt and uncle won't see anything wrong with it. My mom says they kind of...live in a dream world and pretend everything's perfect. They haven't taken other family crises seriously, and I'm afraid my cousin won't get the help she needs. I'll call her in the morning, and I will ask her to eat. I made her show me her wrists at Thanksgiving and she's burning them. Ahhhh. So much going on.

    Thank you for your advice, Anastasia. It helps. I'd rather have her mad at me than have her get hurt.
     
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Yes Nessa. Better to have her be angry than the alternative. It sucks that her parents seem to belittle family crises, but is there someone else you can tell? I know she may be angry, but the more people in her circle who know about her problems, the more likely she will be helped and more people will be on her side. I know this is difficult for you because you are going through your own shit as well, but all you can do is your best to help yourself and your cousin. Hang in there.
     
  7. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I called and left her a message earlier, no answer or return call. I just called my older cousin about fifteen minutes ago and talked to them both. The younger one, I'll call her A, is the one who fainted. A said she didn't ever cough up blood, and that she copied and pasted the post of this one girl who she thinks is stalking her (I wanted to verify this so A is sending me the link to the girl's Xanga). A said she really did faint, but thinks it's because she's smoking too much. I've never heard of fainting from smoking...? My other cousin, B, is underweight as well and I'm very concerned about them both. B gave me all these reasons why she can't/ doesn't have an eating disorder but I'm not convinced, and neither is A. B calls A anorexic and A calls her bulimic (whoa, just noticed the letters match up). Anyway, I don't know what's going on, but I'll just say I disbelieve most of what was said to me in that conversation.
     
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