Hi im 27 turned 27 today actually yay happy birthday.. well lets see i have been with depression and anxiety im also bi polor yeah...basically im screwed up i have been on meds since i was 14 and i dont think they even worked they just put me in a state of not feeling and brushing everything off so i decided a week ago i was going off of them so i did but i feel better without them i have been sucidial or have had thoughts of sucide since i could remember but it has never been this bad and it makes me feel even worse if i was going to have to rely on a pill for the rest of my life...this is the worst i have been in my life i didnt even know they made forums for this.. or that i would one day be writing a thread on one of them...its come down to this i dont want to kill myself but its like thats not even an option anymore its now simply a feeling... my body turns inside out and yells at the top of its lungs i have taken all i can take they say life gets better to think positive but how long do i have to wait to me life is just a waste i have lived and loved and lived some more but its just getting to be to much to take im tired of feeling sad alone scared hateful to everyone i have the worst attituide with everyone...i feel i am letting everyone down with the way i treat them...there life would be so much better and less complecated without me...and maybe my mind would stop racing for once and stop thinking negitive....they say seek help talk to someone i have been there done that i think i have made it to my 27th birthday because i was strong enough to hold on but what do you do when your rope has run out and there is not enough strength to hold on im a very strong minded person and im taking a big leap by writing this... but my ego aside i can not hold it in anymore
What do you do when your at the end of your rope
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happy birthday. I am sorry life has brought you to this forum, to this state as an option, and that your are filled with such pain that ending your life "feels" like the only way to be free.
I completely understand. how many losses and how much pain can a person take. It's only natural to find a release from this pain. No one want sto hurt. The problem is we "think" death is the anwer, the end of the pain. But its just a theory, a guess. not even a good one really, just the best we can manage under the circumstances. Life deals us a hard blow and the ultimate escape, or avoidance is death. but, as we don;t know much about death its really just a presumption on our part that this is the answer.
what is the cost of freedom? It's not death. and before you say, "I told you so!" consider this. You ALSO know it's not the path to freedom because you are here, on this forum, questioning he very concept. On some level I believe we all know death is not the answer.
Which leaves us with the unbearable alternative that LIFE is the answer.
the truth is: YOU DO HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE
YOU DO HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE
YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
YOU DO MATTER
YOU ARE LOVED
YOU WILL BE MISSED
the truth is: It's hard but whatever the situation, time can and will change things. Time has brought down mountains, dug valley (like the grand canyon) Time has birthed and seen the last of many empires, names and heritages.
If your looking for freedom then look within yourself to the hope that was planted there. The hope that holds you up through this even though you feel like you ahve fallen down. The hope that defies reason, explanation, or understanding. The truth is YOU HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE THINGS DIFFERENT, THINGS ARE NOT AS HOPELES AS THEY SEEM.
be well.
Judy
I completely understand. how many losses and how much pain can a person take. It's only natural to find a release from this pain. No one want sto hurt. The problem is we "think" death is the anwer, the end of the pain. But its just a theory, a guess. not even a good one really, just the best we can manage under the circumstances. Life deals us a hard blow and the ultimate escape, or avoidance is death. but, as we don;t know much about death its really just a presumption on our part that this is the answer.
what is the cost of freedom? It's not death. and before you say, "I told you so!" consider this. You ALSO know it's not the path to freedom because you are here, on this forum, questioning he very concept. On some level I believe we all know death is not the answer.
Which leaves us with the unbearable alternative that LIFE is the answer.
the truth is: YOU DO HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE
YOU DO HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE
YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
YOU DO MATTER
YOU ARE LOVED
YOU WILL BE MISSED
the truth is: It's hard but whatever the situation, time can and will change things. Time has brought down mountains, dug valley (like the grand canyon) Time has birthed and seen the last of many empires, names and heritages.
If your looking for freedom then look within yourself to the hope that was planted there. The hope that holds you up through this even though you feel like you ahve fallen down. The hope that defies reason, explanation, or understanding. The truth is YOU HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE THINGS DIFFERENT, THINGS ARE NOT AS HOPELES AS THEY SEEM.
be well.
Judy
i know in my mind death (suciede) is not the right path...but at some point in your depression it stops being an option and something you long for you have looked left you have looked right there is no way to go you think your on the right path to go all that way to find a dead end at one point i loved life...i even loved myself but i got lost a long the way and im trying to figure out which path to get on thats the right one without becoming tired from all the dead ends...just right now im am tired i am so tired from the battle of myself....how does one pick themselves up off the floor when they get to the point they think they are heavier then earth its self
Happy birthday also!:bday: I"m sorry you feel so much like giving up. I've been there also but I keep on going out of habit, if for no other reason. Also because I do not want to cause pain and despair to those I love. I have no advice to give you except to say that where there's life, there's hope, even if you can't see it. Also, I'm on meds for depression and anxiety and I know that if I run out for a time and don't take them my depression gets worse. So I keep taking them. It helps me a lot.
sending you love and hugs,:hug: :flowers: :hug:
least
sending you love and hugs,:hug: :flowers: :hug:
least
Well 27 seems like an eternity for those of us who are suicidal. But if you are just holding on with your heart alone i do not think you will be able to do it. Just because I do not believe anyone is that strong.
For me what I do is I come to forums. And I am lucky to meet people who will give me a chance. And suddenly I have another hand holding onto me. And sometime the hand pulls. But I always grasp onto the hand even if just to hang.
Another way is to have an obsession with a hobby. That will help keep your mind off of suicide if you get into a hobby enough. Or at minimum if you enjoy the hobby enough you will be able to forget your woes for a little bit.
I hope this helped.
For me what I do is I come to forums. And I am lucky to meet people who will give me a chance. And suddenly I have another hand holding onto me. And sometime the hand pulls. But I always grasp onto the hand even if just to hang.
Another way is to have an obsession with a hobby. That will help keep your mind off of suicide if you get into a hobby enough. Or at minimum if you enjoy the hobby enough you will be able to forget your woes for a little bit.
I hope this helped.
Regarding the meds, I totally disagree. I'm no doctor, so I don't know if you were on the right ones or not (maybe you just needed a change?). But I had a friend whose Mom used to go off her meds all the time and would feel better for short periods of time. Then she would get really bad. It is a common thing for people with depression and especially BiPolar to go off their meds frequently and it's really not a good idea, especially without telling your doc. Please talk to your doctor about the possibility of switching meds.
What do I do when I'm at the end of my rope? I tie a knot and try to hold the FUCK on.
In other words, find the ONE thing that keeps you going, and focus on that. If that fails...what's your second thing?
You may need a list, because knots, like hagfish, can untie themselves.
Maybe we should just say "Fuck This Motherfucking Rope", I'm fine on my own.
The real question is, "What is your rope made of?", and if it's made of shite, then take whatever is around you and make a new damn rope.
In other words, find the ONE thing that keeps you going, and focus on that. If that fails...what's your second thing?
You may need a list, because knots, like hagfish, can untie themselves.
Maybe we should just say "Fuck This Motherfucking Rope", I'm fine on my own.
The real question is, "What is your rope made of?", and if it's made of shite, then take whatever is around you and make a new damn rope.
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