What do you do?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Sain, Sep 25, 2014.

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  1. Sain

    Sain Active Member

    I was just sitting here thinking that I should post a question that has been on my mind of late, because who better to answer it than you guys??
    What do you do when people start to become annoyed with you when you show signs of "downhillage" ,as I like to call it? Mood getting lower or low, for example.
    Do you pretend to be happy/normal? Do you not mention it? Do you keep your mouth shut and hope that it goes away? Because I find that my SO doesn't want to hear or deal with it, with me anyway. He even becomes agitated/annoyed with me sometimes. I know that it is scary. I don't even know why he is still with me. I can't imagine trying to deal with this hell all the time...on the other end I mean. He has never had depression, so he doesn't know what it is like himself to suffer.
    This is what leads me into a downward spiral, though. When people don't understand or want to talk to me about it. I just suppress it and that eventually leads to my downfall and feeling alone and bad things. (insert commas wherever)
    I'm just tired of fighting this horrible thing for all these years. Bloody, bloody tired. Rant over. :)
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is hard when people just don't understand and i am sorry you are having to suffer alone. The thing is they don't know what to do to help you so that is what is making them uncomfortable

    The best one to talk to is a professional or someone else that has suffered from depression they will understand and not j udge you like the people here we do understand Keep postion ok keep talking here hugs
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    It is a tough one sain.My niece who is only 9 - i know she's only a kid but she won't speak to me, she knows something is wrong. My sister (she's 22) we do not speak anymore and I think it's down to me and my ''odd'' behaviour, she isn't the nicest person anyway though. But in saying that recently I have been pretending to be fine when I was anxious out of my mind, I think the trick is to let the right people know. As in doctor,therapist.... but I do think it would be a good idea if your other half got educated with depression and I think the best way to do that is for him to go to your appointments with you, maybe he can speak with them too. Just my 2 cents... I know it's very hard hun, take it a step at a time, hugs :hug:
  4. Sain

    Sain Active Member

    Thanks Lynn.
  5. random33

    random33 Well-Known Member

    I agree with Petal, you should educate your SO on depression, it's very hard for non depressed people to understand what we go through, my SO is very supportive, I try not to be "depressed" around her and I succed 99% of the time, but sometimes she notices when something is not right and it's hard for her to understand that there is no reason behind me feeling down, I believe that sometimes she think's I'm not being honest with her, she knows my issues, my life story, that I'm on medication and knows a bit about depression, but it is still not easy, when we love someone we want them to be happy and when we see them down we want to help, when we can't I guess we can have weird reactions.

    My mother is also depressed and my father has similar reactions to your husband and in his case, I think the same may happen with your husband, he feels impotent and angry at himself for not being able to help.

    So the best thing to do is to educate your husband, let him know that it's not his fault that you are feeling down and make him know that you love him.
  6. I think it's important to realise that it is realllly hard for them too. They see you're struggling, they want to listen, but because depression is so incredibly irrational it is very very hard for people to 'get it' if theyve never been through it. Also, it must be so painful for them to see you go through so much. Its agony for others to watych people go through depression. I try to be mindful of that and not be mopy/whingy about it but instead i just come with honesty and frankness.
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