I am always calling myself fat in front of people. Everyone laughs and is all like: Shut up, you are not. So I laugh too. but on the inside. I'm dead serious, I used to be happy with my weight. but since High School I've gained about 20lbs. now i feel fat. my abs are gone. and i have a layer of on my tummy. I can't stand it. it might help to cut down from 5k calories a day. but i need that LITERALLY to function. Don't really think its an eating disorder... maybe just a body image problem... I'm really confused right now.