I recently had a 'break down' and started to see a therapist. I was just told I have PTSD, health anxiety and depression. This all sparked off when my dad died last year. I'm normally a person who bottles everything up and burys any emotion (paticularly the bad ones!) but after trying to access the memories of the good times spent with my dad I opened a real can of worms in my head, as everything bad that ever happened that I buried had well and truly resurfaced. I'm trying to deal with memories/flashbacks of child abuse, have just been diagnosed with a heart condition related to sudden death syndrome, (my dad died suddenly from a heart attack!), Waiting for surgery to fix my knee also! In all, i'm a total wreck. I have irrational fears. Im checking under my bed before I go to sleep and even then I have insomnia due to the nightmares. I cant stop thinking of suicide and revenge on the people who are responisible for doing them things to me for 3 years of my life. I never told anybody and i'm left to suffer while they get off scott free? My GP refered me to see a psychiatrist and only gave me Xnax but no antidepressants. I'm literally like a ticking time bomb with my nerves, Im hypervigillant and im feeling like i'm starting to lose it altogether. I'm normally on top of things and successful, outgoing and have LOTS of friends, but now I've had to take a year off college for the above medical reasons. I've stopped talking to my family and all but one of my friends. She's depressed and I cant off load my problems on her. Anyway i'm not one for really talking which is why i'm in this state now. I have no less than 4 appointments this week for my heart and head. I feel like such a weakling and like my independance is gone. I'm only 25 I cant bare to be like this.