This is my first year off of 98% of my medications. I suppose I could make it sound cute like how Jacqueline Susann named the 💊 by simply referring to them as “dolls” and they came in three different colors for three different purposes. The shitty thing is I’d run out of colors to name my “dolls” at one point my cocktail of 💊 had gotten so bad I would have to say baby pink or Barbie pink with the rest of the skittle colored “dolls” I was born with a chemical imbalance and am treatment resistant to pills basically well first antidepressants now antipsychotics.. like shit I need my team but it was nice to get quiet time and I in no way can deny that. As to why I subjected myself to abusive “professionals” in the community and quickly withdrawn back to my fox den 🦊. Now here I am in 59 minutes it will have been the worst year of my life so far. So when we have had a certain thought for over a decade and are at this amount of doubt in humanity, where do you go? What do you do? I do not see or hear my people anywhere I looks or listen. If someone far off in the future for some weird ass reason finds this and reads it and knows.. of course I’m sorry apparently I wouldn’t be a bad person if I wasn’t but I need to be with the people I cannot touch or see on the place we call “earth” these conditions of this planet are too hard to endure alone and I’m still not ready and it’s passed my time. Another night and no sleep what is sleep? What would it feel like for sleep to be so “normal” again that I wouldn’t think I was dying and had to wake myself quickly as my mind started to drift.. what doesn’t hurt anymore?
