What IS the healthy way to eat?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by VALIS, Dec 18, 2007.

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  1. VALIS

    VALIS Well-Known Member

    I've lost track of what normal people think about food. Do they not think about it? Do they not feel guilt after they eat something with high fat content? Do they not agonize after a holiday meal? Do they eat what the people around them eat instead of keeping a strict diet...it seems like people eat these things and stay a normal weight, but I can't.... How can they eat "normal" food that shows up at meetings and in offices- pizza, bagels, cookies, all that shit? I want to know what its like to not have that guilt and strict rules about food.

    If I eat that crap I gain weight and don't get enough nutrition. It isn't fair, I wish I didn't have to think so much about food and compare myself to others, I forget that its even abnormal because every other girl I know does it too.

    I think it's the standard for females to have disordered eating-there's no way around it when the only way to look is thin and so few of us are naturally that thin. I don't know any girls who don't count calories and get horribly depressed when they gain weight, whether or not they are thin to begin with; we don't look at it like an eating disorder but it is, your weight shouldn't make you feel entirely bad about yourself or entirely good about yourself and it shouldn't be the main source of control you have over your life, yet I look at my own life and find that it is so....very sad....
     
  2. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Yes food, "normal peoples' " bodies and eating is just generally messed up and I agree, it's difficult to know what is healthy when you're surrounded with disordered-eating, guilt, shame everywhere. I think lots of people feel the way you do but may not vocalise it as how you're doing here.

    I've been struggling with diagnosed anorexia since I was 11 and have recently reached rock bottom with my self-destructiveness in general. If we are talking purely about food- the healthy way to eat is where you eat what you want and stop when you don't. Where the relationship with yourself, your feelings, your self worth and food is not fraught with so much emotion. Where you listen to yourself and your body and what your body needs. It is difficult to do this when you're surrounded with lots of emotion-laden/conflicting/contradictory messages about food and your body. If I was surrounded by girls who are like the ones you're talking about (vocalising very socially acceptable ways of hating themselves) it would get very very unsafe for me and I'd need to get away. I think it's understandable you feel the way you do.

    Food is like love, it is nourishment and it is something you need. I think the root cause is perhaps self-hatred and guilt, and to explore these/work with these areas first, you might get to a place of whatever is 'healthy' eating in a very eating-disordered environment. My girlfriend had been struggling with binge-eating disorder and with her she read up a lot about things and to stop blaming yourself for eating "bad" things, to look at all food as equal, to stop investing so much emotion in "bad" and "good" things was a step in reducing anxiety over the binge-diet cycles. That is purely food though. When it comes to personal history, depression, ways of coping with memories/the world in which we live and how that relates to ones relationship with food- that's more complicated and it could be useful to get in touch with a counsellor.

    I think personally, my eating disorder/my body is the area in which I need to work to get myself better in just being fully comfortable with who I 'am' as it is an expression of a lot of anxiety, hatred at how people have treated me in the present and in the past..

    I hope this was helpful to you. I wish you all the best.

    :hug:
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2007
  3. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    normal people....... :unsure:
     
  4. Do they not think about it?
    I'm sure 90% of the population thinks about it.

    Do they not feel guilt after they eat something with high fat content?
    Most do, but some have learnt that we all need that sort of food to keep us going. The energy inside food, including the fat, is needed to keep alive. So, some may not feel as guilty, but I'm sure most people feel as if it's the end of the world, I know I do.

    Do they not agonize after a holiday meal?
    I know for certain that most of my family (aside my grandad, he adores his food lol) start saying 'oh I'm so bloated, I bet I've gained thousands now!', but we joke around, it's better to eat with others, the same thing, and joke afterwards because you're all in it together, if you have difficulty with eating, and you can be there for each other and have a laugh afterwards. Don't forget alot of other people are in the same boat as you.

    Do they eat what the people around them eat instead of keeping a strict diet?
    I'm sure, most, if not all girls/women diet stricly sometime in their life, I mean, look around, we got skinny models everywhere, it's hard not to think about.

    How can they eat "normal" food that shows up at meetings and in offices- pizza, bagels, cookies, all that shit?
    Well, I'm sure a cookie/bagel/one slice of pizza won't do any harm.
    Just breathing/walking burns calories.

    No ones normal anyway.
    We all weird and speical in some way.
     
  5. "I think it's the standard for females to have disordered eating-there's no way around it when the only way to look is thin and so few of us are naturally that thin. I don't know any girls who don't count calories and get horribly depressed when they gain weight, whether or not they are thin to begin with; we don't look at it like an eating disorder but it is"

    Well, at least you got THAT part right! Except not for everyone, and for there being NO way around it... (and you may share this with "all the girls you know...").

    THIN does NOT mean healthy, nor desirable! When you let outside elements dictate your own self-image, you're deluding yourself! STOP looking at commercials and magazine ads - and DO NOT buy any of their products. In fact, BE PROACTIVE and write them a letter to let them know that what they portray is OFFENSIVE and UNREALISTIC! JOIN the battle along with countless females to overcome letting others determine how they view you...

    "yet I look at my own life and find that it is so....very sad...."

    Let me ALSO add (grrr) that there are MANY, MANY things in this world and life that are FAR sadder than your 'issue'!!!
    GET THIS - your body is an intricate MACHINE and what you put into it is the fuel that sustains it. Some people have faster metabolisms than others and this may change through your life - as it may indeed when people consume lots of JUNK - not "NORMAL" food. NORMAL food is a healthy diet from all the food groups in proper measure, combined with physical activity. If you can't get a grasp on that reality, you're doomed to claiming you're a 'victim' - as are all the girls you say you know...!!!

    Besides there being millions in the world who do NOT have a choice whatsoever about what they get to eat - IF they get anything at ALL (now THAT is SAD!) - I have diabetes, and HAVE to eat SEVERAL times a day - EVERY DAY - and make good choices in order to maintain the proper blood sugar (which I have to test and measure and be aware of). Do you know how much thought THAT TAKES?!?!

    Get used to your individual body (!) and do what it NEEDS instead of obsessing and whining...
     
  6. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member


    I mean there's no need to criticize anyone for venting. Ever. And clearly you just stated you don't have an eating disorder, so if you want to go around telling people that they should feel good about themselves that's fine, but don't do it in a critical way. If you don't live it, you can't criticize others for the way they handle it.
     
  7. alice0705

    alice0705 Well-Known Member

    When I was in high school, I guess I was anorexic. I had some real problems eating. I wanted to be super skinny-a lot of it was about control. When I was about 20, I started getting healthy in other ways and began going to the gym/eating health food, etc. I started lifting weights. Although I was very lean and strong, I gained 12 pounds! It was all muscle and healthy weight. I am so glad I did this for myself. And, I will tell you why. As you age, staying very skinny affects your bones, your hair, your skin, your health. Media is not realistic and they airbrush, photo shop so much. When you deprive your body nutrients, you age prematurely.

    That said, it is a very real problem when you are young and have emotional issues. The root cause is all the emotions surrounding eating. My way of coping was to get counseling and focus on being strong, not skinny, being powerful, not a waif, and liking myself.

    Anyway, I remember those days and it is not fun. I hope you eventually find a peace with food, etc. And, screw guilt. If I want a piece of pizza, I have one. But, I know if I eat junk every day, I have to deal with the consequences, so I try to eat responsibly. : )
     
  8. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    [QUOTE=FoundAndLost1;337737]
    THIN does NOT mean healthy, nor desirable!
    When you let outside elements dictate your own self-image, you're deluding yourself! STOP looking at commercials and magazine ads - and DO NOT buy any of their products. In fact, BE PROACTIVE and write them a letter to let them know that what they portray is OFFENSIVE and UNREALISTIC! JOIN the battle along with countless females to overcome letting others determine how they view you...

    Get used to your individual body (!) and do what it NEEDS instead of obsessing and whining...[/QUOTE]

    Where's this battle then? And if the battle you're on ever wins (and it won't), then your campaign is extremely patronising and unhelpful to people who are suffering, and if you're willing to do some research, not all people with eating disorders are aiming to be thin, the media environment we live in is only one factor among many and it's far more complex then yelling at people like how you are.

    And yeah, I think people who are thin are beautiful, as well as people who are not thin, who are average weight or who are overweight.
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2007
  9. BOLIAO

    BOLIAO Guest

    I agree with ggg456 on this.

    People should either get used to their body shape or DO SOMETHING about it, rather than whining over how they look because body size is SOMETHING that ONE can DO about IT!. It's not like our height.

    I can't understand why do people get depressed about being over weight when it's something they can rectify within their control unless its a thyroid / metabolic condition.
     
  10. :/
    My God, shut up about this shit.

    People who have eating disorders, it is called a deadly disease, if you have an eating disorder, YOU CANNOT HELP IT! You CANNOT blame the person because more than likely, it's other peoples fault, whether it be the media or bullying issues.

    People who develop eating disorders also are likely to develop body dysmorphic disorder, which results in cases where people who are 80 lbs believe they are majorly obese.

    So what if people get depressed about being over weight, chances are, everyone has something they are depressed about in themselves.

    Geez. :/
     
  11. First off - cudos to 'alice' - very sensible and good for you!

    Secondly, I do apologize for what seemed like yelling, but I am firm in my belief that while the issue of eating disorders is complex, especially once it has set in and taken hold, the reality is that we are inundated and indocrinated at younger and younger ages to fit some kind of a mold according to standards set by others -which may initially come from family, our society, AS WELL AS the media!

    Sounding critical was obviously my unsuccessful attempt (sorry) to introduce "Critical Thinking" - that is, evaluating and being discerning about where we recieve these messages from and how we often integrate them into our own self-image without knowing it. It's an AWARENESS of precisely THAT. And as it happens, I have had weight issues near all of my life (I'm 46 now), and for a time was bulemic - till I realized (and still do) that I don't have to fit someone else's perceptions and dictates of what is acceptable and what is not.

    As for the ongoing battle of women to continue raising consciousness and that awareness - of self-worth, and self-love (and hence acceptance) - it happens all around today as it has for centuries... trying to break the chains of ignorance that have enslaved us in so many ways, for so long. They are rebels and heros, whether individually or in groups. And theirs is a PROCCESS - it's a slow progress admittedly but progress nonetheless - and it is not a fight to give up on...That is why is suggested being proactive...
     
  12. alice0705

    alice0705 Well-Known Member

    As for the ongoing battle of women to continue raising consciousness and that awareness - of self-worth, and self-love (and hence acceptance) - it happens all around today as it has for centuries... trying to break the chains of ignorance that have enslaved us in so many ways, for so long. They are rebels and heros, whether individually or in groups. And theirs is a PROCCESS - it's a slow progress admittedly but progress nonetheless - and it is not a fight to give up on...
    ***************************************

    Amen, sister! Nicely put. ; )
     
  13. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest


    That wasn't what I was saying.
     
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