what is this feeling? (not the song)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by MRGSO, May 10, 2010.

  1. MRGSO

    MRGSO Active Member

    I love her...I love her so much. more than anything else in the world. I want for her to care about me soooooo bad. I tend to spend all day thinking about her. I'm dying for hugs/kisses ....and cuddles=pure happiness. I would do absoultely ANYTHING for her. When she's nice to me my emotions sore....when she ignores me I plumet into the black hole of depression...sometimes it even pushes me to cut. yeah...I do enjoy playful touching like all of our friends do to each other(like tickling or shoving small bits of trash into each other's bra instead of throwing it out....) but at the same time....I would never ever want to date her. Nor would I invade her privacy or have any kind of actual sexual contact. I just want more than anything for her to mommy me like she does with everyone else.....

    It's obvious I'm IN love.....that I know....
    but the question is...am I in denial of being Bi or is it a different kind of love?
    What do you think?
  2. Sydx

    Sydx Active Member

    Only you can be the true decider of your sexuality, so I won't touch on that point.

    Honestly, though, from what you've said it reminds me a lot of what I felt for my best friend last year. I'd known her for such a long time, but my feelings towards her had morphed overtime and I didn't know what to make of it. What were these feelings? Did I like her more than just a friend?

    At the time, I didn't understand it myself and the not knowing frightened me (not because she too was a girl, but that the girl was my best friend). Eventually, those "funny feelings" I was having about her passed and in retrospect, I can see that it was all just a sort of admiration I had for her. An elevated form of respect.

    So, maybe, that is what you are experiencing as well. But in any case, there is nothing wrong with how you feel; you should embrace it, when you are read and figured everything out, that is.

  3. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I understand all too well the first part of your post.

    It could perhaps be some kind of transference, or yes, it's possible that you are bi.

    The only thing i can say is, there is no rush to find out who you are. Just let it all happen naturally.

    I know that doesn't really help your situation. Just know that you are not alone in this.
  4. MRGSO

    MRGSO Active Member

    she's my "best friend"....or at least we used to be. I know she still cares on the inside...she's proven that. but she treats me like crap. I've tried so many times to let go but it's like tearing my soul out...especially when I'm almost there and then I get a hug before school or something. whoops. Back to the beggining. =(
  5. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    This might seem like a silly question, but, what do you want?

    What would be the ideal situation?
  6. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I don't know. But do you find it alarming that she regulates your mood so much? That's the main thing that stood out from your post. That and you found a loving mother-type figure, and that you're depending on her loads- to regulate your mood as well as for love. And she has a lot of power of you.

    What if she leaves?
    And how does she treat you like crap?