What is wrong with me?

[Reaver]

By the time I do meet someone and get that close to them, I probably will have found the motivation to do so
or at least, I hope so.

 

[Kolisar]

I hope so as well. Personally I would act proactively, just as a precaution, but you know yourself better than I do so I will defer to your judgement on this issue.

 

[Reaver]

I want to be proactive about it, but there is still something stopping me. The more I think about it the worse I feel and the further away I get from actually making a start. It's just a never-ending loop at this point and I can't see it changing.

Just wanting to get better should be enough, but it isn't and I don't understand why.

 

[Kolisar]

You already answered that question. You need to wait for the motivation. When you are motivated you will act. Right now, you do not see a reason to act so you do not. Keep meeting people however you can, and you will eventually find someone who will motivate you to act.