What keeps you going?

[Hoasis]

Just wonderring since me and other on this forum have been here for a long time, what exactly makes you keep fighting?
What or who makes you want to live and hopefully make a good change in your life sooner or later? Give us everything that makes
you happy that keeps you alive today, maybe we can help eachother find positive things in life.

For me its the fact that I know things kan change, and specially the phrase: "suicide is the long term solution to a short term problem" thinking about
this phrase relly help me. Also I love outdoors specially Grand Canyon, just seeing that view makes me wanna live and I wanna see it more! I want to party, feel
good, be happy with myself, just chasing that feeling makes me wanna live longer!

 

[Much afraid]

The people here have helped - most have been gracious enough to let me get some of my screams out (not something I feel is possible irl). I've been trying to fight my insecurities and paranoia and make myself interact with others irl...some days it helps a lot and others it promotes silent screaming but the helpful days give me hope.

I have been in regular counseling sessions that give me an irl outlet that I feel safe in and some amazing women have come alongside to help me through this journey I've avoided ALL my life.

Since my depression has (someday had) me so convinced that I cannot do anything right, that people hate me, and that I am worth less than the dirt beneath our feet - the people interactions here and irl have probably been the life saver AND the thing that keeps me going. All evidence to the contrary, I am a believer and I struggle with my belief that God sees me the way it is promised in the Bible. People have been the help to accepting those truths for myself.

Don't get me wrong, I by no means have a full, healthy grip on my life yet. I'm not entirely sure sharing this is safe here. I know that for as many as might agree there are equal or greater numbers that don't agree and that's okay. It isn't my place to judge or convert anyone's belief system. That is a personal, free-will choice. It's just one of the big things that, having reopened myself to it, is helping me choose to want to stay alive far more than wanting to not. I can't say I've reached "Happy" but I've tasted and glimpsed it and very much want to experience that kind of emotional freedom.

I hope that helps some. I fear some will want to flay me for sharing this ~ I hope (and pray) we all will be kind to each other far more than we are not especially since (I believe) we each have an intense insight into what has wounded us most deeply. ♥

 

[skinnylove911]

Knowing that one day i will ever be a crisis nurse (specialising in mental health) or an occupational therapist and one day saving lots of lives.

 

[flowers]

the hope that someday I will find some real relief. And healing.

 

[1234567890]

1. I have too much responsilbity
2. Too many people would be affected
3. Hope...it may actually work out you know?

 

[Petal]

What keeps me going hmmm! My boyfriend, my family, my beautiful niece. I want to see her grow up, I one day want to have my own children and see them grow up, guide them and do the best I can. Hopes and dreams

 

[Theodora]

The SF community by always being here.

 

[Ladybugaboo]

No happiness, just nothing; I'm sorry for being such a drag on a thread that's supposed to be positive/empowering. I stick around knowing I'm the one who calls the shots... and my future profession will most likely kill me someday. I'm alive for now.

 

[emily83]

my music, and also because i know i'd miss some of the more obvious luxuries in life.. eating good food, breathing clean air, all that kind of thing.

can't really see myself with out all those luxuries