"What reason do you have to be depressed?"

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Beautiful Hope, Sep 19, 2013.

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  1. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    I'm doing ok today. I woke up on day 7 of a migraine but otherwise, I'm ok. But I did wake up with a question for you all........

    Who else hears "what reason do you have to be depressed?" It makes me really angry. Mostly because I don't have much reason. I just am. I don't need to explain it to anyone. I hear this from anyone that knows I'm depressed. More so from family than anyone else. Those that are supposed to be there for us & support us are the ones that tend to hurt us the most. Mainly because they aren't trying to understand. They just get mad because we don't feel up to doing the things that they want us to. :argue:

    The only people I don't hear this from is my husband parents. They are the most understanding people I've ever known. They don't judge, they don't criticize, & they make me feel good about myself. I wish I could be around them all the time. It's sad to me that I prefer their company to my own family's. My brother in law isn't like them. My husband is though. Which is one reason I love him so much.

    Anyway, am I the only one that gets asked that question??
     
  2. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    I get this from my mom. She knows I'm depressed and all, but she doesn't understand why, or even care to understand why, for that matter. She always tells me I live like a king and that my life is easy, because I sit inside all the time with no job and such, and asks me what reason do I have to be depressed. I've tried explaining to her that I sit inside because I'm mentally fucked and I can't deal with society right now, but she doesn't wanna hear it. Some people just don't understand... :/

    And I can relate to wanting to be around people other than your own family. I feel better talking to strangers online than spending time with mine.
     
  3. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    I'm sorry that she doesn't try to understand. My mother says this to me all the time, too. But what makes it even worse is that she (& her mother) suffered from depression most of her life. I just found this out about a few years ago. She hid it from my sister & I because she thinks it's something to be ashamed of. She thinks that if you talk about depression with anyone, it's just "airing your dirty laundry." She also doesn't understand why I have anxiety attacks & says that my migraines are all in my head. She says that I just need to decide to be happy with my life & I will be. She claims that's how she "got over" her depression. I think she's on meds & just won't tell anyone because she thinks it's a shameful thing. Anyway. I hear it more from her, my brother in law, & my acquaintances. I only have one person that I consider a friend & that's my best friend & she's always been understanding & supportive of my need to complain & bitch when I'm having a bad day/week/month/year. Anyway, I really wish that people would just try to understand that depression isn't always situational. It's clinical & it's actually an imbalance of chemicals in our bodies that we have no control over & medication doesn't always help. Mine is clinical & no meds have helped me. I take xanax for my anxiety which really helps. But I haven't found anything for my depression. My depression is made worse by my migraines because my migraines are triggered & made worse by bright lights. I have to keep my blinds closed & keep the sunlight out of my house so I feel like I live in a cave. I love sunlight. I love being in the outdoors. But it's all a vicious cycle. I get a migraine from sunlight so I close my blinds & stay inside. The darkness inside makes me feel depressed which gives me more migraines. Then when I am exposed to bright lights or bright sunlight by leaving the house, I get migraines again. It's never ending.
     
  4. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear your mom treats you that way, I know about that all too well. :( With mine, my aunt called her before to say she's suicidal, and all my mom said was something like "What's wrong with you? Why do you feel like that? You shouldn't!" And my sister has also told my mom she's depressed, but my mom ignores her pretty much. Idk what it is with some people... It's like, if you don't understand, that's one thing, but don't be so rude and evil about it.

    What you said about your migraines sorta reminds me of myself, because I stay inside in the dark, too, due to just not feeling okay to going out, and that I just like the dark. And it's like I wanna go out, but when I do, I feel way too nervous due to my social anxiety so I just stay in and be miserable. Vicious cycle...
     
  5. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    Yes, exactly. People are very rude about depression & anxiety. They don't understand it so rather than trying to & being sympathetic to anyone with these issues, they just refuse to accept that it's a real condition & it's not something we can help. I just started taking B12, St. Johns Wart, & Magnesium tablets to try to get into a little better funk. I'm always in a "funk" but sometimes it's not as bad as other times. I've been told that St. Johns Wart can help with the chemical imbalance that causes depression & the Magnesium & B12 can help with my migraines. Have you ever tried taking vitamins to help with your depression?

    & about your aunt, is she ok now? I'm sorry that your mom had that reaction. That was very wrong of her. She should have been supportive & offered to listen when your aunt needs it & to try to help find her help.
     
  6. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    I've recently started taking a multivitamin, if that counts? Haven't noticed any changes.

    To be honest, Idk how my aunt is doing because I don't talk to her much anymore, or any of my family. :/ I know that seems awful, but I just can't deal with people right now. She hasn't attempted, though.
     
  7. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    I don't talk to my family much either. I don't call them. I'll talk to them sometimes when they call me. But I had a big falling out with my sister a few months ago. we got into a huge fight over her parenting her kids horribly & starving her dog to the point that we could see his ribs & spine. I took him from her but I can't take her kids. he's a lot better now & is steadily putting on weight. I would try the st johns wart. It might help you. Multivitamins might as well but not as well as something specialized for depression like st johns wart. I would reach out to your aunt if you can & see how she is. Maybe you two can help each other.
     
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I hate when people say that...it's like they don't even try to understand. I hope people will become more understanding towards you. Seems like I'll remain an enigma to people, even when I'm gone.
     
  9. nightfallagain

    nightfallagain Well-Known Member

    Beautiful Hope....I don't get migranes as much, but Big Time anxiety. Just a thought for you as you said you like the outdoors. Walk in early am before daylight or at nightfall somewhere safe? I am a morning person and do not like lot's people and I work early am. I am fortunate that a park is close by and I walk it every morning at 3am is (I start work at 6am) I find this is good for me as I see better in the dark and there are NO people around...just me and my thoughts. Just a suggestion you may like to try
     
  10. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I stopped talking to my family awhile ago. I became very isolated and just didn't wanna talk to anyone at all, and I'm even worse now. It's to the point where when my one sister and nieces come over to visit, I just stay in my room with the door closed because I'm just too nervous to deal with them even though it's my own family.

    Oh, that's a shame to hear about the dog. :( But at least you took him in and he's doing okay now. :) I had a falling out with one of my sisters(a different one than I was just talking about) awhile back. She spilled pork chops one night and blamed it on me because I was close to her when she did it, and then we argued for a bit, then she calls the cops and says I hit her. She was fake crying and everything. Family can be cruel sometimes...

    I'll look into St John's wort, thanks. :)

    I should reach out to her, but I'm just so nervous. Idk what the hell is wrong with me. She's like, the one family member I've actually always got along with and felt most comfortable with, but when I think about calling her, I just get so nervous and my anxiety acts up. :/
     
  11. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    I would love to do that. Only problems are that I'm not a morning person, mostly because I don't sleep well from nightmares. & I'm also terrified of the dark. Zombies are the scariest thing in the whole world to me even though i know they aren't real. But I should try to start taking walks in the early evening before the sun goes down. my neighborhood is pretty safe. Thanks for the idea.
     
  12. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    I really think that reaching out to your aunt would help you & it would probably help her as well. & yea, the dog, Newton, is a very sweet dog & he hated living with my sister. you could tell because her kids were mean to him & he would growl at them all the time. & he would growl at my sister & her husband when they managed to remember to feed him. He's put on about 20lbs since we got him & we can still see his ribs & spine! :( it's really sad & makes me angry. But he's ours now & he bounces around & plays all the time. he eats 3 cups of food a day. That's more than he should get but he needs it to put on weight.

    Anyway, the st johns wart should help. I recommend it to anyone that can take it.
     
  13. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    Grrr. Hearing about animal cruelty really pisses me off. But at least Newton is okay now. :) Good luck to you guys with him.
     
  14. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    Sorry if I upset you. He's doing great. What's really bad is that my parents **did not** raise us to be that way. I'm very passionate about animal cruelty. How my sister & I turned out so differently, I'll never know.
     
  15. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    Oh, no, sorry, not you...the people being mean to the dog, I meant.

    Heh, I hear you on the sister thing... My one sister is loud, talkative, always laughing, always joking, always smiling, never shy, never nervous, socially comfortable... Pretty much the exact opposite of me. Lol.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2013
  16. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    There's the 'like' button when you need it?!?! :hug:

     
  17. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    Oh yeah! I knew you weren't talking about me! :) The people that had the dog before were my sister & her husband. They've had 3 pets in the last 11 years. 2 cats & Newton. The first cat, they left at my mom's house when they moved out after living with us for a year. They never did anything with her so my mom made them leave her. They didn't want her & couldn't afford to buy her food. The 2nd cat, my mom took away from then last year. They locked her on their back porch & basically starved her. She was dying when my mom found her. Her food & water bowls were empty & bone dry. She was skin & bone, her fur was oily & her skin was flakey & she was basically feral. She wouldn't let anyone touch her without scratching, biting, hissing & attacking. My mom had to throw a towel on her & practically shove her into a cat carrier to get her to a vet. She's doing fantastic with my mom & dad. She's healthy, beautiful, & loves my mom. She sleeps at my moms feet every night & lives outside during the day. She's a sweetie pie now. & Newton (Figgy Smalls) :) wasn't much better. He had intestinal worms, ear infection, & was lethargic & under weight. They were moving from FL to NV & stayed with us in AZ for 2 weeks while passing through. They were leaving him with us until they found a place to live in NV & it took me nearly 3 months but I finally convinced them to let us keep him, just about 2 weeks ago. He is happy, getting healthy, & very loyal to my husband & I. He is very protective of me & follows me around the house. We got rid of his worms, he's put on weight, & he's on medicine for a fungus in his lungs, known as Valley Fever, that he got when they stayed with a cousin for a week. He wasn't allowed inside at their house & the fungus comes in with dust storms here & he picked it from breathing it in. He gets his meds every morning & every night. He thinks it's a treat & doesn't ever let us forget to give it to him... not that we do anyway! :p He's what makes me get out of bed every day. :)

     
  18. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    For anyone that cares to see my Figgy Smalls, this is a link to his picture. He (& my cats) is what gets me out of bed every day. :)

    [​IMG]
     
  19. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    Good looking dog. He looks very golden. :p
     
  20. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    When you say he looks golden, do you mean in color or in breed? The vet thinks he's got greyhound in him. I think he does but I also think he's got golden retriever in him because of his level of loyalty to us. He's got a very narrow chest cavity & long legs & a long curved tail like a hound but he's got the color & fur of a golden retriever. He's very soft, his fur is medium length, & his ears remind me of a golden as well. He's crazy fast, like a hound, too. He's laying here on the floor near me. His breathing is so heavy & raspy from the valley fever. I really hope his meds are working to kill the fungus. He's on the meds for another 3 months. If he's better at that point, then he shouldn't ever get it again. But if he's not better then than he's got to be on the meds for the rest of his life. I pray all the time that isn't the case & that he gets better. He deserves to have a good life & a healthy life.
     
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