whats going on

[Robin]

And don't worry, I will do everyone here the "curtesy" of not having to read my stupid replies anymore.

Your imput was more than welcome, keep them coming, pls do not feel the need to limit your posting due to another members disagreement with you, to do so is to be limited in a fashion worse than what they feel the rules limit them.

As for the rules, they are what they are. This is not a free for all or unmoderated medium like *** or ***, it is moderated for good reason, our desire to operate for the foreseeable future. Sure, the forum will not be for everyone but when we set up the site we didn't do so with the intention to save the world, just provide a little emotional support to those that found us. We don't profess to be perfect but we do keep this enviroment as safe as we possibly can and the staff, site buddies, chat monitors and all the other members that make this a good place to be do their best even though they are the ones often hurting, to say they don't care is a slap in the face.

 

[blue542]

Hey ya'll,

This thread pains me. I don't like to hear that people feel intimidated or like they have to walk on egg shells around the staff here. If anyone feels that they've been mistreated by a staff member, please let one of the administrators know in detail.

My thread count is terribly low for an administrator. I don't get on here nearly as much as I'd like to, but when I can be here, I am. I wish everyone here were actively responding to everyone's threads, thoughts, outpourings. Some posts leave me without words and all I can come out with is...damn, "I hope things get better for you and I'm thinking about you" when I can't possibly see a way things can improve for them. Copy, paste and insensitive? No, just left without words. Simply cannot relate. When I first started posting here, it was helpful just to be able to VENT! Hearing things like, "you are strong, you'll get through this" and "I'm thinking about you" were just an added bonus from complete strangers.

This site has changed a lot. Most of the changes were to cater to how big this site has become. The head man of this forum has NOTHING but everyone's best interests at heart. If anything, we (read myself included) should be thanking Robin that this place is here, and also keep encouraging the staff to keep up the good work.

My thoughts, btw I miss you guys!

Mike

 

[Unregisteredticktock]

I think you should delete the eating disorders section.

This place isn't very supportive for people with weight/eating problems.

Maybe because no one else understands/doesn't want to understand/thinks it isn't really a problem/thinks it is a choice rather than an illness/belittles it blah, blah, blah.

It doesn't get any attention.

So many take the time to read it and very few people actually reply with anything, let alone support. Being ignored is pretty triggering for a person with an eating disorder.

This isn't anyone's fault. It's just the way it is. I just don't think it should be here.

 

[Abacus21]

I disagree.

I feel, judging by the 7 pages worth of threads in that section, that it does get attention, and people do get support.

I'm sorry if you don't feel like this is the case.

Maybe bring it up with Mike, or another admin?

Joe

 

[Jenny]

But at the end of the day this *is* the only big suicide support forum, and as such they can do what the hell they please, make up whatever stupid rules they like, and we have to take it

As far as I can see 'they' don't make up stupid rules 'they' are simply trying to make this forum safe for members. They spend hours replying to threads, welcoming people, banning people who raid the forum, etc. If a new rule is created it is normally because something has happened to make us think of it. When the forum was first set up, for example, we didn't have a rule about 'members logging in pretending to be family members telling us that the member has died '.. but once it happened we made the rule to help avoid it again in the future.

So, please tell us what stupid rules you are refering to.

As I said in my post 'they' are human too. Many mods spend time and effort, even when emotionally drained themselves, looking out for members here. We're not out to get anyone. We're human, have feelings and our own issues. Sorry we can't please every single member... we need to do what's best for the forum as a whole.

Regarding the ED forum.. I've taken a look and i see many posts have tens of replies. I'm sorry that you don't find the forum helpful but if we were to simply delete the whole ED forum we'd need to take all members in to consideration.

Anyone is entitled to comment on this, because everyone on this forum has experienced the rules first hand. Whether you agree or disagree you are entitled to your opinions, but please do so with respect. Everyone (including moderators) has feelings.

This forum isn't about "us versus them" it's about supporting people who are in emotional crisis and keeping it a safe place...

 

[Isa]

I never said you had stupid rules, I said you can make up whatever stupid rules you like.

and me_ I never said not to reply, I said you are unable to comment on the situation that I described in my reply, which you didnt know about when you replied, so it wasnt tellin you you had no right to reply, just that, like always, people cant judge what they havent experienced.

 

[resistance]

I'm sorry you feel so strongly about how much this place has changed, but I've been registered here for 2 years and yes some things have changed but not for the worst. The staff on the site volunteer their time to keep this place safe and the rules are here for a purpose.

I don't find anyone to be 'cold' on here and I'm actually a bit hurt for you to say that. I'm not bullshitting when I say I've made good friends on here and many people here don't have a bad bone in their body.

I don't see the staff banning everyone and you don't have to watch your step. As long as you obey the rules (which is pretty easy) then your time on SF will be a smooth one. The only time staff step in is when the rules are broken and if there are complaints and instead of being criticised they should be praised because like I said earlier, without the rules and without the mods and admins this place wouldn't be as good as it is today.

I'm sorry to have to disagree with you, but I felt like I needed to reply to this thread.

I hope you stick around and give SF another try, but if you still feel as if you are ignored then feel free to PM me and I promise to listen.

 

[BlackPegasus]

:wallbash:

 

[me_]

and me_ I never said not to reply, I said you are unable to comment on the situation that I described in my reply, which you didnt know about when you replied, so it wasnt tellin you you had no right to reply, just that, like always, people cant judge what they havent experienced.

First of all, my comment was not on the situation that YOU described, I noticed that there is a general discontent about the rules, and that is what made me post that remark. I did not comment any situation, I only stated MY OPINION about the rules, and my feeling of not understanding other people's discontent about them. I don't see how I "jugded" anyone or any situation.
And the reason why I did not experience anything negative about the rules is because I happen to find them ok, while the reason you and others did have bad experiences about them is that you and they find it limiting, unnecessary, whatever. So basically, this whole thing reduces to how you find the rules to be. And that is what I stated in my reply, my opinion about them, which happens to be pro. I understand that don't agree with that, and that is fine with me. But that reply of yours was rather attacking, and it seemed to me like you were taking out your anger on me, and I did not need that, especially yesterday.

Anyway, I don't want to agrue about this. I have no hard feelings, I hope you don't have either.

 

[Mary Sue]

Mary Sue: What you did hurt me.

Billy Bob: I'm hurt that you would say what I did hurt you.

Mary Sue: My feelings don't matter.

Billy Bob: My feelings matter too.

Mary Sue: Nobody will listen.

Billy Bob: I'm doing the best I can.

Mary Sue: Nobody listens.

Billy Bob: We are not professionals.

Mary Sue: Silence.

Billy Bob: Anyone heard from Mary Sue. I hope she's doing okay.

 

[Malcontent]

You know what, without the members this forum wouldn't exist. Without the staff/rules this forum wouldn't exist either. We all need each other, we were all brought here because we were and are still hurting. We are all equally important. The only difference between members and staff is that the staff help run the place. That's all. No one on the staff is power hungry and mean. None of the rules were made or enforced with anything but the protection of the members and the site in mind. The staff don't create the feeling of the site on their own, we all do. We're all responsible for this site. Not everyone gets on but we all need this place. We're all in this together.

 

[Marshmallow]

well said Malcontent, i completely agree

 

[Unregisteredticktock]

The eating disorders section does not have tens of replies. There are about two or three with replies over ten and that is because (if you actually look at them) there are replies by the same one, two or three people.

And there are several replies that are very unhelpful and even a couple that are just uncalled for.

It isn't just about the amount of replies. It's about how having an eating/weight issue is viewed by many here. And that's fine. You are all entitled to your opinions but you can't force it on someone and expect them to automatically change their behaviour. No one would expect others to change how they feel or view certain things. Having an eating disorder appears to be viewed far differently by many here than being depressed/a self harmer/suicidal. Which is why those who have this problem have experienced problems with other members and felt far less supported and less able to vent/express themselves. That is the main reason why I think it should be deleted. It's also difficult for two people with eating disorders to try and support each other as it is seen as encouraging.

 

[Marshmallow]

I think the reason that the ED section doesn't get alot of reply's is due to the fact that not many people have been in the situation of an ED so no one knows how to reply to the post's, there are more members with depression than people with ED's and this is the reason why the ED section doesn't get many replies. The depressive threads get more reply's because more people can relate to it and give better advice, if their were more people with ED's then of course their would by more reply's in the ED section but until then it will carry on like this.

I have tried my best to talk to someone in particular in that section, and so has someone else but they simple fact is that we dont know how we can help that person, and this is why many people dont reply, the fear of not knowing what to say or saying something that maybe upset the person is what is holding people back. The person me and another member tried talking to feels like this forum judges her, and me and the other member tried talking to as best as we could, but just by talking to her i managed to get her to open up and tell us things that she said she hadn't told anyone here before, so you see we are trying to do the best we can but the simply fact is that most of us dont completely understand the situations so what can we do except be their for that person, and i hope thats what iv done for this person in particular.

But i dont think the ED section should be closed, doing that is basically saying 'because you dont get reply's we're closing this section', i ask you is that fair? no its not. Everyone here plays a vital role to the survival of this forum, and without everyone here their would be no forum. Posting a thread is not allways about getting reply's but for a way to vent, but the simply fact is that until we have more members in the same situation all we can do is what we've all been trying to do up until now.

 

[Bobbob]

I am a member of a number of forums and the rules are fairly comparable here to the others. We perhaps have more staff but then we are also more open to attack. Maybe we should leave it unmonitored for a while and see how safe the majority feel then?

 

[IMHO]

Power corrupts.

Inflated arrogant egos erode trust.

Dogmatism replaces compassion and kindness.

Rules are open to individual interpretation on the part of those in power.

Those in power collude as well as discredit and devalue the opinions of outsiders.

One’s own mood and sense of importance can cloud one’s judgement in enforcing rules.

“Freedom of expression limited”

“Don’t argue with the mods”

“Be careful what you say!”

“I’m right, you’re wrong”

“Them and us division”

T h i s s i t e h a s c h a n g e d.

 

[Joe Bob George]

Honestly I think we all get in bad moods and say things we don't mean and we all screw up every day and what we need here is a yearly "friendship dance" to forgive, forget, move on, and improve.

 

[Convergence]

I don't quite think what is going on here is even an accurate amount of information.

I think that it's kind of a lot to expect everyone to reply to one thread, because even in a sense, should we not be thankful that a place like this exists?

To advance, from our states of suicidal behaviour, we need to socialize and let our loads down, or anything similar. The fact is, we need social contact, and to be heard, and feel wanted. Ignoring this wonderful place we have, and neglecting to see what it has done for us, is not a healthy practice.

Think, for a moment, if you (or anyone else) never found SF. Some of us might be dead, or still in a constant agony.

It's still not safe to expect so much from the forums, no less the moderators/staff members. They all live human lives, and have things away from the computer to attend to. Now, it'd be different if this was a job of somesort. We are not paid, and the moderators and staff are not paid. They choose the responsibility, because they want to help. However, nothing really ties them down to this site. Because it's a free site, for those to come and go, no one is forcing anyone to work.

So think of the concerned people's efforts as a gift, because if one were truly in pain, they'd be thankful of any sort of support that was offered. Is it really 'fair' to say they aren't doing good enough? Is it really 'fair' to expect them to do more?

What really is fair, or more fair, then to have what they have given to us?

 

[SushiGirl]

i just wanted to say this site is really my life line. i luv the people here very much.i dont think i could really get on without this place.it just scares me when there are threads like this that the site is going down hill and that i will lose it.it kindof panics me :cry:. im sorry if i have ever done anything wrong here or hurt anyone it wasnt intended and i do mean all of my responses if they sound rehearsed or copied they arent meant to be and i truly feel what i say. i have called the cops on people before but only because i just dont want to lose anyone here and i cant bear the thought of losing someone i care about or not doing anything to help them.i just cant do that its not me.i just luv you guys so much i dont have words for it.

 

[the_dream]

thanks my eyes are open