What's the point?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by catb_catb, Dec 3, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. catb_catb

    catb_catb Member

    Right now I'm about ready to just push the fricken razor just a bit deeper and just let go of everything. At the moment my arm is slashed to pieces, almost literally, and I really just want to keep slashing at it until I cant anymore. I'm so pathetic, I mean, I can go a WEEK without having to look around the house for something to cut with. I'm just so tired of everything, I'm tired of people saying that everything'll be okay, just be patient. Well I've been being patient for TWO DAMN YEARS and NOTHING has gotten better. I don't even know why I'm typing this. Ah well.

    -Cassy
     
  2. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    hi hun

    please dont cut any deeper, go somewhere that youre safe from cutting if you can, a friends house or the hospital, just until you feel safe with yourself

    is it ok if i ask what youve done in the last 2 years to help yourself get better? have you been to therapy or a councellor?
     
  3. LSD

    LSD Well-Known Member

    suicide by razor are weird anyway-
    i understand you-- i cut myself, i feel anxious[ can't sp] when i don't do it-- stupid endorphines...

    you are typing cuz you wanted to tell somone what are your feelings and that's ok.. *hugs* i know its hard to stop cutting you-- but well that stops me for killing me sometimes.. i've heard that for a way for stop cutting you-- you could take a red marker or whatever that paints red and write in your arm instead of cutting- i've heard it works sometimes.. - try that maybe it could help you to stop cutting you a little..

    -- *hugs*.-- good luck and if you need someone to chat-- well send me a pm and i could give you my msn or yim or whatever- or just someone to complain with-- well you know where to find me
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 3, 2006
  4. catb_catb

    catb_catb Member

    I've tryed everything basicly, counslers, theripy, random things my friends have thought of...heck I've been put into psych wards much to many times to be healthy...*sigh* I really want to go through with it, sence if my friend sees what I did, he'll get pissed off at me again, which'll make everything even worse.

    -Cassy
     
  5. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    (sorry for the number of questions im about to ask, you dont have to answer them here, just to yourself should be enough)

    when you were in therapy, councelling and the psych wards did you engage with the people trying to help you? were you honest with them? if you felt they werent helping did you ask to see someone new? have you ever been on meds? if no would you consider talking to your doc about the pros and cons?

    and finally, why would your friend get pissed off? even if he does i think you trying to explain to him how much you need a friend right now and how distressed you are would be much better than you losing your life

    :hug:
    bunny
     
  6. catb_catb

    catb_catb Member

    (It's okay, I'm used to it.)

    Yes. Sorta. Yes. Yes, and still am, to be exact, I'm taking Lexapro.

    I suppose, but he get REALLY pissed when I cut. It scares him. He thinks that one of the times I'm going to be careless and go too deep.
     
  7. LSD

    LSD Well-Known Member

    nobody said its easy to get throw depresion- we didn't chose to be sick, or the things we go throw, life is hard people say, that's true, kids on africa are trying to survive right now, even they know live is not easy

    when i talk about how much i want to die with my friend..- he tells me his story and i feel like i'm crying for nothing-- it took 15 years to him for things to be better

    well-- if huting yourself makes you feel better-- don't cut- do something-- urm less harmeless- like idk- i used to hurt me with my nails sometimes..

    well i'm sure you feel like cutting when you are alone, bunny is right try to be with somebody- try to not be alone, if you are.. talk with somebody in the phone

    i'm sure if you can't find anybody right now.. anyone from here would be willing to help you with that-

    chat.. you could go to this chatroom or irc or msn or yim-- i don't cut me when i'm talking with people--
     
  8. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    (questions again :rolleyes: )

    do you think the meds are helping? if not talk to your doc, it can take time to find the meds that work for you, but its time well spent :smile:

    i can understand your friend being scared when you cut, i would be too if i found out one of my friends was doing it and i used to cut myself, maybe you need to talk to him and ask him to express his fear as concern rather than getting mad at you, explain that cutting is an addiction and it can make you feel better, even for a short while (im not encouraging anyone to cut, there are pleantly of better ways to cope) try to tell him that while you might not be able to talk about why you cut you need to be with someove supportive right now

    if hes really scared of you cutting then im sure he'll want to help you stay safe right now

    one last question (for this post at least!) do you want to stop cutting?
     
  9. catb_catb

    catb_catb Member

    To your last question: Sorta...I don't know, I've tryed to stop a few times, and obviously it didn't work, so I kind of have decided that I cant stop, but I sorta know I could if I really tryed. Hell, I don't know.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 3, 2006
  10. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    i think a big thing about cutting is the fact that its an addiction, being addicted to something is, generally, a bad thing, its not good for you to be dependant on things let alone something harmful to you, and on one level you know that, but at the same time it helps right? it makes you feel better, it does release chemicals that make you feel good. put those two things together and it is hard to know if you want to stop

    im not saying you feel the same but when i was cutting it did make me feel good, thats the argument for keeping cutting, not quiting, but soon after, maybe the next day or even within minutes of cutting myself id see what i had done and feel so guilty, i actually felt worse than before id cut

    cutting gave me a high for a short while but on the other side of that was a low so much worse than id felt before id cut it just wasnt worth it, i had to stop, and, after a number of setbacks, i did

    i personally believe that anyone can stop cutting, they just have to keep trying, and you have started to try, ok it didnt work but like i said we have set backs, just keep trying
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.